Friday, June 5, 2009

Dear So and So... Episode III

Dear Landlords,

Still no toilet.  Come on people!  Get your act together.

Regards, Kat
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Dear POW Sam Kitty,

I know your bid for freedom has been foiled numerous times.  However, you must realize I have quite a lot of money tied up in you now.  That plane ticket to England wasn't cheap.  Plus I like having you around.  Oh and that spider monkey leap you tried from the floor to the counter top in the laundry room this morning was hilarious; especially since you missed and fell.  I am a sucker for  people/animals falling.

Love, Kat
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Dear KiKi,

This angsty teenager thing you are pulling at the ripe age of almost three is getting old.  Just because you do not get your way does not mean I am "mean".  You can sulk and whine all you like, but you are not going to get your way.

Love, Mom
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Dear Guy I Saw at the Market,

Short shorts are not meant for men.  I could almost see the twins for heavens sake.  I know it is "hot" here in England for this time of the year, but could we at least make sensible fashion decisions?  

Thanks a bunch, Kat
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Dear Elizabeast,

1.  The garbage is in the bin for a reason.  The reason is not for you to eat it.
2.  The Dog Whisperer means no harm.
3.  Quit barking at the neighbors.  They are gonna start to think you are antisocial. 
4.  Awwww aren't you a good girl.  Who's the pretty girl!!!

Love, Your Human Mama




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34 comments:

  1. Vodka MomJune 5, 2009 at 3:52 AM

    short shorts on men?


    I am laughing out loud right now. LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dorset DispatchesJune 5, 2009 at 4:48 AM

    English are good at many things. Looking good in the heat is not one of them. A big NOOOOOO to short shorts on men. Please guys. We're all with Kat on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJune 5, 2009 at 5:00 AM

    I'm so laughing right now...cant even pick out a fave.

    brilliant!

    tracy

    ReplyDelete
  4. MitzyJune 5, 2009 at 5:54 AM

    Hahaha... short shorts on a guy is just as bad as any moose knuckle out there!
    Thanks for starting off my day with a good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  5. JessJune 5, 2009 at 6:32 AM

    LOL! I loved your letters! And she issssssssss a pretty girl! How could you be mad at that face! OH and cats falling...HILARIOUS.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Expat No. 3699June 5, 2009 at 6:41 AM

    Thanks for a much needed laugh this morning. All of them were so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Me, You, or EllieJune 5, 2009 at 6:42 AM

    Okay. Now we need to read the replies.

    Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  8. Only AmanJune 5, 2009 at 7:01 AM

    seriously... short shirts? I have seen them on flamboyant men... but even on they they look odd.

    Besides the toilet... your life seems pretty similar.

    ;-)

    -Aman

    ReplyDelete
  9. Stacy UncorkedJune 5, 2009 at 7:02 AM

    The 'short shorts' one had me in stitches...particularly the 'twins' part... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. MicheleJune 5, 2009 at 7:14 AM

    The twins, HA! I just snorted coffee on my keyboard.

    ReplyDelete
  11. for a different kind of girlJune 5, 2009 at 7:23 AM

    Seriously!? Still no fixed toilet?!

    I once saw a guy get out of his car at Target and was so taken aback by his ass hanging out of his super short cut offs that I had to stand by my car and regain my composure. Then I joined the throng of Target customers who were discreetly following the man through the store so we could marvel at his ventilation system. He was VERY ventilated...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Badass GeekJune 5, 2009 at 7:23 AM

    Oh. So I should return my wardrobe I purchased at the new Richard Simmons R' Us store?

    ReplyDelete
  13. NickyJune 5, 2009 at 7:29 AM

    Seeing 'the twins' what a hideous thought, also who can possible think that a huge big beer belly on display is attractive. NO!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sprite's KeeperJune 5, 2009 at 8:01 AM

    Short shorts on men, shudder.

    ReplyDelete
  15. SammanthiaJune 5, 2009 at 9:07 AM

    The same goes for men who wear Speedos. It's just not right.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mary TJune 5, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    The twins, ha ha ha, I'll be using that one. Very funny and so true!

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJune 5, 2009 at 9:12 AM

    The problem with knowing you IRL is that I get previews and thus I lose the opportunity to snort coffee out my nose and onto my keyboard when you post these things :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ahahgshene June 5, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    oh wow this is a good idea to do for a blog !

    guy with short shorts is a no no! that's just really funny though !!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ahahgshene June 5, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    oh wow this is a good idea to do for a blog !

    guy with short shorts is a no no! that's just really funny though !!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Everyday GoddessJune 5, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    I'm glad it's a picture of Elizbeast and not the Twins. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Kimberly WrightJune 5, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    short shorts on men = nasteee

    Last year we spent a month at the beach. So did this man from France. For some reason he thought it was perfectly alright to go nude on the beach in Alabama. My daughter and her friend got to see their first adult naked man and it was not a pretty sight.

    ReplyDelete
  22. kelJune 5, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    awwww.... she is a pretty girl!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. PollyannaJune 5, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    Very funny!

    I have one of those teenaged three-year-olds too. I'm pulling my hair out - do you have any left? If so, what's the secret?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Irish GumboJune 5, 2009 at 3:49 PM

    Cats falling IS funny (snort)...short shorts on men, not so much.

    And KiKi? Your mom's right: you ain't gonna get your way...

    ReplyDelete
  25. Trooper ThornJune 5, 2009 at 4:48 PM

    So that's where I need to go to get the shorts I like. They have been gone from North America for 20years!

    Thanks Kat.

    ReplyDelete
  26. JoanieJune 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM

    Short shorts on men? No No NO!

    Reminds me of a time this fellow was at my house. I think I was giving him a haircut. He was quite hairy.
    He sat down and his denims cut-offs were, um... a little too short and my mother got quite an eyeful of his hairy twins! He also had no underwear on. LOL! Thanks for the memory!

    ReplyDelete
  27. MikeHJune 6, 2009 at 12:19 AM

    One hot (for the UK) day a few summers back, a guy got on my bus wearing short shorts...and no shirt. I was just so hoping he didn't sit next to me!!!!

    (He didn't.)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ian NewboldJune 6, 2009 at 3:30 AM

    Poor guy, had he looked after his mankini line(s).

    ReplyDelete
  29. ♥ BrajaJune 6, 2009 at 3:48 AM

    And the dog heard "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah who's a pretty girl blah blah blah" :))

    ReplyDelete
  30. a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous!June 6, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    found my way to you via the "gumbo" highway...hope you don't mind if i stop back by :)

    the twins? gggggggg-ross. i wouldn't have been able to stop looking sadly enough.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Aunt JuiceboxJune 6, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    omg My daughter was just talking about short shorts on men and that she thinks it's gross and disgusting. And for reals, it is, guys.

    ReplyDelete
  32. LolaJune 7, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a clutz for a cat. Mine crashes all the time in her attempted counter leaps. It's hilarious!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. JenniJune 8, 2009 at 6:13 AM

    the only people who should be wearing short shorts are super models and teenage girls. and still not toilet? are you kidding me?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Cape Cod GalJune 8, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Short shorts? You should see the guys at my yoga class! SCARY!!!

    ReplyDelete

You know the fish in Finding Nemo that gets really excited about bubbles? That is how I get about comments!