Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fail.

Two fails, two days. Well, at least I am averaging 100%. So yesterday was my husbands birthday. My awesome, handsome, loving, forgiving husband's birthday. Yeah. I was convinced it was today. I DID however figure it out at 3:30pm yesterday that I was completely wrong. Thankfully I already had his present (non-fail) but I hadn't baked him a cake (fail). So, after I picked up LaLa from school I hauled my massive failing bootay to the commissary and picked up a cake, some icing, and candles. Total fail averted.

This morning, KiKi was pitching a fit because she didn't want to go to school. I made her go anyway; crying, kicking and screaming. Mommy fail. I asked how she did when I picked her up this afternoon. She had quit crying as soon as I left her classroom. Ya know, after making me feel like a complete failure as a parent. Parenting fail redeemed.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm The Storyteller

I can't help it apparently. Maybe blogging led to it. I am a storyteller. Not like made up fantasy stories. I didn't even realize it. We had gone to look at houses and were buddied up with our estate agent, Mr. NotATotalButtmunch. I guess I told him a story. I can't remember. It all happens without me fully knowing apparently. So my husband and I are in the car on the way back to The Bungalow and my husband quipped, "You did it again."

"Did what?"
"You told him a story."
"Did I?"
"Yeah"
"Well, I can't help it."
"I know."

Well as long as we have that settled then.


Sunday, September 27, 2009

50 Years!



My Granny and PaPa have been married 50 years! Happy Anniversary you crazy lovebirds!

*Their anniversary isn't until Oct 2 but I got so excited when I got the pictures this morning I just had to share them!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Dear So and So...I'm Doing This for Your Own Good

Dear KiKi,

You go to Nursery School on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday. No, you cannot stay home Fridays. I have gotten to the point where I really enjoy my free time. Sorry Charlie.

Love, Mom
--------------------

Dear Ghost Shows on TV,

I am a glutton for punishment. I scare easily. BUT! I can't stop watching you. I am addicted. You totally scare the pants out of me, but I can't stop watching.

Pantsless, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

Ok child, we need to get some things straight. Listen carefully. School clothes are for school. Dress up clothes are for Dress up. Play clothes are for play time. PJ's are for bedtime. Did you get that last one? PJ'S ARE FOR BEDTIME. No, you may NOT wear your school clothes, play clothes, or dress up clothes to bed. The sooner you get that into your five year old brain the happier we all will be. Promise.

At The End of Her Rope, Mom
---------------------

Dear Body,

I am really sorry for all the chocolate and pizza I have fed you latey. My hormones demand it. It can't be helped.

Oops, Kat
------------------

Dear House,

Can you pack yourself? I mean, it isn't the actual packing that is the problem, it is the deciding what I am not going to need until we live in the next house.

Argh, Kat
-------------------

Dear Readers,

If you would like to play along, write your own letters and leave your link with Mr. Linky! Happy writing!

Love Ya Mean It,
Kat
-------------------

Thursday, September 24, 2009

She's a What?

As I was leaving school this morning this little conversation took place between my daughters teacher Mr. PunkRock* and a student.

Student- Mr. PunkRock, Sally is a horse!
Mr. PunkRock- She's a what?!!? (obviously misheard the student**)
Student- She's a horse!!
Mr. PunkRock *looks up and see's Sally getting off the bus* *laughs* She certainly is a horse!

Sally had a horse mask on.

*Mr. PunkRock is such named because he has purple-ish burgundy hair and about 6 earings. You can tell he is a rocker in his time off. He is lovely with the kids and is an awesome teacher.

** I am pretty sure he thought she said "whore"

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

RTT-In a Hurry!

Tuesday! Yeah. You can blame Keely for all the randomness to follow. Click on the purple button to get in on the randomization of the blogosphere!

randomtuesday

My mom called last night and asked if I was done with my pity party. Yes I am. She reminds me of Cher's character in Moonstruck. *slap* "Snap out of it!"

I got an email from my Auntie A that made me laugh.
This Pic:

With the caption: Swine Flu paranoia gets out of hand....

For some reason I have the date Oct 23 stuck in my head. This generally means something good or something bad is going to happen that day. I am not saying I am psychic, but I got a feeling.

The kids were playing "zombies" the other night. (aren't they the coolest!) I am not going to worry until they actually start biting people.

Elizabeth keeps getting into the trash at night and it is driving me slightly bonkers. By slightly I mean it is full on driving me insane.

OK, I need to go start packing my house and calling the electric, water, and cable companies. Oh freakin happy days are here again! Calgon take me away!



Monday, September 21, 2009

Treading Water

I am debating with myself about publishing this. I guess I will throw all my thoughts onto the computer screen and see what sticks. In many ways I am just treading water. Financially, mentally, physically. I have just enough strength to keep it together; not sink. I know you guys are used to coming here for a laugh, but I started this blog as a place I could shout and vent about how I am feeling. Frankly I don't care who reads it. Hi Mom, hi Gran.

For the last few months we have had Murphy of Murphy's Law fame living at our house. I think he has inflated the air mattress in the spare bedroom. Right now I am thinking of ways to evict him, but for now, apparently he is staying. Maybe we are banking all the bad luck now for good luck come the New Year?

The latest round of Murphy has found us once again in a financial crunch, but in these economic times, and on a military salary...when are we not in a financial crunch? We have done this song and dance before. It is just draining. Moving just wasn't in the plan. Now it is the plan, since we have no choice in the matter. Of course with moving comes extra expenses. Once again, weren't planning on them. I am not asking anyone for money, or putting up a donation button, because #1 I am too proud for for that. #2. We'll make it. It will be tight for a few months, but we'll make it.

I will say.... you learn some interesting things when you get put into a spot like this. Like, laugh at the little things. My new house. It has a name. It is called Old Rising Sun. So...I am literally going to be living at The House of the Rising Sun. So, yes that does mean we have found a new house.

Also, you have to be very patient. When your nerves are already in shreds then the kids start their crap (oh come off it you all know what I mean), and then dinner needs to be cooked and you are still on the phone with one more important phone call. Patience. Not my strong point. I am getting better tho.

Prayer. I know not everyone believes in prayer. It helps me though. Want to know why it helps me? I believe in God (let's just get that out there(it is actually in my profile section but nobody ever really reads those)) and even it I wasn't a believer, just voicing all my frustrations and getting them all out IN WORDS helps. Writing helps to, but actually saying it out loud to God, helps. Mentally it has helped immensely. Here is my advise, even if you don't believe in God, just sit quietly and SPEAK all of your frustrations. It helps.

So that is where I am folks. Treading water, but keeping my head above it. I am not in a perfect place but I am still above water; kicking and screaming. You know what that means? I am still alive. I am still fighting.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Dear So and SO....Bungalow Repo'd

Dear Landlord,

Thanks for the notification that you want your bungalow back. Thanks for giving us 2 1/2 months to find a new place and move house. Too bad I am going to be in the states for 2 weeks of it, and now we find ourselves crunched for time. I really appreciate it buddy.

What the Frankfurter!,
Kat
-------------------

Dear Letting Agent,

Thanks for not being a total jackass. You called us instead of sending a letter in the mail and I sincerely appreciate that. You have also found a way for us to figure out the deposit situation. You totally get that we were blindsided by all of this. Thank you so so so so so so very much. After this I just might take the whole agency off my "S" list.

You're Awesome,
Kat
------------------

Dear NFAH,

See you at 12:30...squeeeeeee. I love meeting up with bloggy friends who have become real friends!

TTFN,
Kat
------------------

Dear Readers,

Write your letters and link up! Thanks for making Dear So and So the premier league of letters to those who tick you off, make you happy, or to the utterly stupid. Go forth and let it all out. It makes you feel better.

Love, Kat
--------------------

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

How to Potty Train for The Complete Lazy Ass

I make no bones about it. I am lazy. Not extremely lazy. I mean, my house, for the most part is at least presentable. My kids are well cared for and happy. However, there was one thing that was completely dogging me. KiKi up until this past week was not potty trained. Thanks to that I have come up with a fool proof method for potty training a three year old when that is the last thing you really want to do.

1. Buy underwear.
2. Make half assed attempt at potty training 6 months before you really want your child potty trained. After two accidents in one day, give up and resort to diapers. I mean, who really wants to clean pee out of the carpets anyway, right?
3. Make another half assed attempt to potty train when your parents come to visit. Resort to diapers because you are out of the house entirely too much and public toilets aren't always available.
4. Make another half assed attempt a month later. We only have a month until school starts, panic.
5. Declare child completely untrainable. Wash your hands of it.
6. Week before nursery school starts panic. They don't allow diapers, but are willing to help in potty training. OH NO I DON'T WANT THE ONLY KID WHO STILL HAS ACCIDENTS ALL THE TIME!!!!
7. Thursday before nursery school starts, start actually potty training. Pull up diapers are only for naps and bedtime. Have a million accidents over the next 4 days.
8. Start nursery school. Pray. Send child in underwear with 2 sets of new underwear and two pairs of spare trousers.
9. Sigh of relief only one accident first day of school, then a million accidents when you get home.
10. Send child to school. No accidents at school. Half a million accidents at home.
11. Send child to school third day. No accidents at school, one accident at home.
12. Send child to school Friday, no accidents. At home no accidents.
13. No accidents all weekend.
14. Declare child potty trained!

And that, my friends, is how to potty train when you are a complete lazy ass like me. Oh and I am totally not making any of it up or exaggerating. Believe me, five accidents in one day feels like a million.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

RTT- What? Am I the Title Fairy?

It's Tuesday. Ahh sweet sweet Tuesday. It means Monday is over and we are one day closer to the weekend. It is also my day of crazy random. You can head over to Keely's and get in on the random by clicking that shiny purple button.

randomtuesday

So when I was doing dishes, pausing to make KiKi a peanut butter sandwich and listening for the signal from my BlackBerry that another email had arrived (hooray multi-tasking), I had this thought...You remember the JIF commercials that say "Choosey moms choose JIF?" Well, I think in these economic times the slogan needs to be changed to "Smart moms buy whatever the hell is on sale"...Just sayin'.

I woke up this morning and checked the BlackBerry for Facebook notifications and found out that Patrick Swayze died. Just goes to show you this is the way information travels these days. I mean, I found out Michael Jackson died by text message for goodness sake.

I saw a guy mowing his lawn in a proper pair of trousers, shoes, a button down white shirt and a tweed jacket yesterday.

They should really put warning labels on sticks of deodorant that smell like baby powder. I hate the smell of baby powder. It makes me think of baby poop and then I get this overwhelming urge to barf. That would suck, upchucking in the deodorant aisle at the grocery store.

President Obama called Kanye West a jackass. Now that is something that I can get behind.

I just watched the first five minute preview of the new Grey's Anatomy series (errr, umm season), and I can't help but wonder if they are going to jump the shark this year.

KiKi is obsessed with eating Cup o Noodles for lunch. I literally can feed my kid lunch for 37 cents a day. It is like a feed the children commercial.

Alright enough of my random for one day. You crazy kids take care and have a good day!

**Edit** I almost forgot that I have a guest post up today at The Locals Love It. Check it out!

Monday, September 14, 2009

When I Get Big

Actual Conversation with LaLa-

LaLa- When I get big I am gonna be a fireman.
Me- Really?
LaLa- Yeah or maybe a police man.
Me- You could be a doctor!
LaLa- But that is a BIG JOB!
Me- Yeah it is.

*few moments of silence*

LaLa- And when I get big I am gonna get new parents too.

Gee thanks kid.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Breakfast Issue

"Hey girls, what do you want for breakfast?"

LaLa- "I want a waffle."
KiKi- "Yeah, I want waffle toooo."

"Ummm we don't have any waffles"

KiKi- "Make some waffle"

"I don't have anything to make waffles with"
"LaLa do you want some cereal?"

LaLa "Yeah, but with no milk" (she wants to sit in the living room and watch tv while she eats obviously...)
KiKi- "Want some yoghurt"

"Ummm I don't think we have yoghurt... *checking fridge* Nope, we don't have yoghurt.."

She pouts and wanders off. I bring her a bowl of dry cereal hoping that she will just do what her sister does.

KiKi- "I want milk in it!"

"If you want milk, you have to go to the kitchen"

She gets milk in her cereal, eats one bite then goes back to the living room to watch TV. Glad I could be of service....

--------------------------------

I knew there was a reason my cat gets everything he wants. Now I have scientific proof!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Dear So and So...Sept 11th

Dear Sept 11th,

You have affected me in more ways than I could ever imagine. The other day I was watching the documentary "103 Minutes that Changed America" and even after 8 years, when the 2nd plane was shown hitting the south tower I broke into tears and felt a feeling I can only describe as primal fear. I was right back in that college classroom on that day. The hairs on my arms stood up and I felt sick to my stomach. September 11th, I wish you had never happened, you changed my country in a way I never thought possible.

-Kat
--------------------

Dear Readers,

Almost 3000 people were killed that day because of an act of terrorism, and we have been lucky that it has never happened again in America in the past eight years. I say luck, but really it has been vigilance. Our intelligence community, with all its faults, it working hard to prevent further attacks. George W. Bush, with all his faults, was working hard to prevent it. Barak Obama, with all his faults, is working hard to prevent it. See, we as Americans, may never agree as a whole how to prevent acts of terrorism. However, we all strive to prevent it. Lets just take a day to be neither Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal, moderate, or independent...Lets just be Americans. Let us mourn the fallen, and champion the brave who seek to prevent future bad deeds. Lets be Americans.

Love, Kat
------------------------

Mr. Linky is up for other Dear So and So....


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

RTT- I'm Late (not that kind of late...boy that would suck)

You know those mornings when everything goes wrong that is what I am having! Happy RTT everyone! You can thank Keely over at the Unmom for all this random. Just click the pretty purple button to get in on the other random action around the interwebz.

randomtuesday

So this morning, KiKi woke me up at 7:20 and demanded TV. Not a problem. I dragged my booty out of bed, flipped on the TV, found Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and then slunk off back to bed. Now, I normally get up at 7:30, so I figured I could get another 10 minutes plus a couple of snoozes before I REALLY had to get out of bed so that I could get a shower before I took LaLa to school. So my alarm goes off at 7:30...and instead of hitting the snooze on my phone I hit dismiss. Consciously I KNEW I hit dismiss, but I figured I am really already awake, so no use in worrying about it and actually getting up. So at 8:30 when I woke up chaos ensued. Remember I said I needed a shower. This was not a I kinda need a shower kind of day, it was a must. So I throw off the covers, throw a uniform at LaLa, bark some orders, find KiKi some clothes, got her dressed, made LaLa a lunch, the hopped in the shower to at least wash my hair. By the time I got out LaLa was dressed and helping KiKi find some socks, which were being a illusive. I found socks got her shoes on (I am still in a towel at this point and it is 10 minutes to 9 and we usually leave the house at 8:45). I ran to the back of the house found some clothes and put on my shoes. As we got outside KiKi peed her pants!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Take her to the potty, change her pants (grabbed those out of the diaper bag as we were coming through the laundry room), head back out the door at 5 til 9. We got to the school at 9. Class starts at 9:05. Good morning, Kat!

I love when I get random emails. Last night Captain Dumbass sent me an email with one sentence. "My vacuum just caught on fire."

My husband is moaning at me for some food. He just got home from work (it is 9:46 AM)...Back in two min.

Ok that was more like 15 minutes but that bacon bap was so so worth it. Bacon on a roll for you that don't know what a bap is (I like to butter my rolls and grill them for a second to get them all toasty). Anyhoo...

So I am gonna try my Grans pound cake recipe today...wish me luck. Yeah today is not gonna be a low fat day...oh well. Things are looking up after this hellish morning.


Monday, September 7, 2009

School Days

School has once again started here. LaLa started last Thursday and KiKi started today. While I was excited to get LaLa back to school, I was of course a little apprehensive about sending my baby to nursery school. All worry thankfully was for not. She went happily into class and settled down at a table and started playing before I even had time to hang up her jacket and book bag. A quick kiss good bye and I left KiKi to start her school days adventure. Upon picking her up, I was greeted with a shout of "Mommy!" and a gigantic hug. My heart swelled and it felt good to be needed again. Of course, having the house quiet for 2 hours this morning was also nice....


Friday, September 4, 2009

Dear So and So...Shut the Front Door! Really?

Dear NCAA Football (*cough* that's American Football),

I am so so glad it is that time of the year again. I can't wait! If we can ever get rid of the BCS I would probably do naked cartwheels in the street, for realz, but that isn't the reason for this letter. Florida (ranked #1) is playing my former college of Charleston Southern University? Really? No, realllllly? They aren't ranked. Hell, they probably don't even deserve to do that laundry of the National Championship team....really??? I mean it is like feeding a lamb to a lion....

Totally Astounded, Kat
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Dear Kids,

Don't worry, one day I will quit sighing when I look at your hair. Eventually.

*sigh*, Mom
---------------------------

Dear The Man,

I still can't believe you said that you are ready to go back to work. I know three weeks is a long vacation, but are you sick of me already? TeeHee.

Smooches!, Kat
--------------------------

Dear Readers,

Can I get a Friday chant? Friday Friday Friday Friday!!!! Now play along! Grab the button, lodge your complaints or compliments, then link up with Mr. Linky!

M-I-C
See Ya Next Week!
K-E-Y
Y? Because We Like You!, Kat
---------------------------


Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Name Is...


KiKi! Destroyer of Dreams!

"You not a rock star, you just a daddy!!"

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dinner

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I dunno, Kat. What do you got in there? As long as there is meat and some sort of starch I am happy..."

Waltz back into kitchen and scan the freezer...no, no, no, no...ugh. Wash the dishes, that will clear my head and get the creative thinking going. You need creative thinking when you are at a loss for what to make for dinner. I have cube steaks...grumble...oh and an onion...I know...

Big pan. Oh and butter, lots of butter...slice the onion. Get that butter nice and melted, toss in the onion...oh yeah. This is starting to smell good. Soft golden onion goodness. Onions out of the pan. Cube steaks, lots of Lawry's seasoned salt. Oh this is gonna be good. More butter in the pan...in go the steaks. Nice and brown on one side, flip. Brown the otherside...check to make sure the inside is done. Serve it up with a box of Pasta Roni and a can of green beans...we're in business.

It might not be five star food, but damn it is good*.

*It is also sooooooooo not low fat. Also may induce heartburn.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

RTT- I Think They Have A Bet on Who Can Give Me a Heart Attack First...

What is RTT? Free therapy for us who need to get all the crazy out our brains (and mine is full of crazy). You can check out Keely's place, grab the button, read some more crazy and write your own. Or not. Your choice.

randomtuesday

So I think my kids are plotting how to give me a heart attack before the age of 30. Oh I am over reacting? I think not. Saturday night, from what I can gather...LaLa scaled my counter tops in the kitchen and grabbed a pair of sewing scissors out of a cabinet. Then KiKi decided to give herself and LaLa haircuts. This is the carnage of KiKi's hair...


Can we say heart attack? I spent an hour crying, five minutes on the phone with my brother getting laughed at by him and his best buddy, fifteen minutes on the phone with my gran getting the "you did it too" speech, and fifteen minutes on the phone with my mom getting the "I can't believe you let this happen" speech. Sunday morning I took them to my friend Nigel who is the manager at the barber shop on base to see if he had anyone at the shop who could fix it.

This is what I got...




Dorothy Hamills....


Sigh.

Oh and more than once I have had a spider try to land on me as I was walking out my front door. Not cool spiders, not cool.