Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Boy Named Sue

So, we've had a bit of a SNAFU (in case you don't know what that means it is a US Marine acronym that means Situation Normal-All Effed Up) here at the bungalow. Apparently the kitten that my friend gave me under the pretense that she was a she is actually a he. We've had the kitten since November and yes, I *just* now realized that she is a he. In my defense it isn't exactly like I went poking and prodding down there to examine it's bits, I just took my friend at her word.

Let me set the scene for you- I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room watching my recorded episode of Got To Dance and I looked to the left towards my kitten who was standing up and facing away from me. In my head all of a sudden I was screaming "OMG does she have crown jewels?" and then simultaneously saying "surely not!" Then I got up and did an Internet search for "How to tell a boy cat from a girl cat" and found a youtube video and after watching it sat there shaking in a giggle fit. A boy cat named Gingerbread Rogers--classic.

I then posted about the SNAFU on Facebook...as one does in these situations. To which my dad left a comment asking if I was sure that he had two granddaughters. Very funny, Dad. Then I went to bed thinking about how I was going to explain this one to my kids in the morning.

Lucky for me my kids were only vaguely interested in the fact that their kitten was actually a boy. They were more interested in renaming him. So...Gingerbread Rogers is now Cheeto Bandito.

For the record, I would like to say that 10th grade biology classes apparently did not cover sexing kittens.

Monday, February 27, 2012

That Was Not OK--End Of.

I am not exactly sure how to write this blog post. I have started and deleted it five times already. If you are a friend of mine on Facebook you may have seen a status update that said:

"Let's get something clear. If you are going to say something nasty, racist, bigoted, slanderous, malicious, homophobic or hateful near me or around me or on one of my status updates go ahead and unfriend me now. I don't put up with that mess"

When I wrote that I was absolutely livid about a racist comment that was made on one of my status updates- the one where I said I was really craving Chinese food. I will let you drawn your own conclusions about what was said because I refuse to even entertain the idea of repeating it.

Here's the thing that really bothered me, it was said by a person that I barely know. She was a friend of a friend who I had met a couple of times. I was trying to help her out when she moved to my hometown. I don't know how she got it into her head that saying something like that to me was OK. It actually bothered me to the point that I was up until nearly 2am stewing it over in my brain.

Did she think it was OK because I am from the stereotypically southern USA? Did she think it was OK because I am a white female like her? Did she think it was OK because both of our husbands work in the same sort of job? Did she think it was OK because she used to know some of the same people I know. If she assumed it was because we know the same people, what does that say about those people? On and on I dwelled on all the reasons that she would think it was acceptable. It really really bothered me.

Here's what I came up with in the end. It is not OK. It is not OK for her to think for any reason that it is acceptable to assume that I am like her and would have found her comment amusing. If she had really known me, she would have known that I would find her comment absolutely disgusting. She would also have known that I don't believe in hate. I believe in love. I also believe in deleting horrible comments and nasty people from my life-- that includes my Facebook profile.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Dear So and So...Happy Birthday To ME!!

Dear People,

It's my birthday! You can leave gifts on that table over there.

Love, Kat
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Dear Readers,

You know what really stinks? Having to bake cupcakes on your birthday and you don't even get to eat them! Bloody school disco!!

Love, Kat
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Dear Guy Who Runs the Corner Store,

Thanks for the lovely birthday chocolates. I am glad you wife was standing there when you gave them to me or it might have been awkward. Just sayin'. I will try not to eat the lot in one go.

Thanks, Kat
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Dear Local Friends,

I love you lot. Seriously, you are the best friends ever. FB conversations with all of you are a hoot!

Love, Kat

PS- I really don't mind if we can't do girls night out on Sat. But SOON you hear me!
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Dear National Rail,

£580 for 4 adults and 2 children to Scotland in April? Really? I could get everyone to Spain for that and actually be warm. Yeah, I think we're driving.

Love, Kat
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Dear Mom and Dad,

Thanks for the camera tripod and quick release plate (for the tripod). It is exactly what I wanted and I can't wait to try it out!

Love, Kat
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Dear Readers,

I hope you have a lovely day. If you have letters of your own, don't forget to link up!

Love, Kat
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Saturday, February 18, 2012

How Did This Happen?

I never realized how living here in England was going to effect my speech patterns. After being born in America and then living there until I was 27 I figured I was throughly American and I was quite happy with the slight southern twang in my accent. However after having lived here for three years I have found that I have picked up a bit of an English accent. It isn't very predominant. I certainly haven't got as bad as Madonna when she was married to Guy Richie. For the record when she used to do TV interviews I would stand and yell at her through the TV "YOU'RE FROM DETROIT!!!". I just didn't realize how easy it is to find your accent changing when you live here.

I first noticed it when I would say words that had and "ight" at the end of them; such as light. In fact my husband used to point it out and poke a bit of fun at me. I should also ad that my group of best friends here in England are from East London, Manchester, Wisbech, Surrey, and Essex. It is a muddled up little group and so has become my accent and speech patterns over the last three years. Where as my daughter La has a very posh "Queens English" accent (she reminds me of an American actor in a film doing a "proper" English accent), I have been known to say things like "ket-le" instead of kettle and "I nearly snapped me debit card". When did that happen? When did "me" replace "my" in my speech pattern? Mind you I am not complaining here, it's just a comical observation.

I admit, sometimes I purposely use words that are common to the UK instead of American words because it generally makes my life easier. Things can easily get lost in translation. It has even happened here on my blog. However, because of the composition of this area of Suffolk and the large population of Americans stationed here at the air bases, I don't normally have to use UK phrases usually to get my point across. So it just strikes me funny that I now think in an Cockney/Mancunian/Suffolk/Norfolk accent. And sometimes what I am thinking actually comes out of my mouth the way that I said it in my head, which then sends me into fits of giggles.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

5 Tips For Not Losing Your Mind During Half Term

For some mother's half term is a blissful break from the school run where they can spend their days baking cookies with their children and basking in their maternal glory. For the rest of us it can and usually does turn into some sort of bad 1970's B horror film starring our children as the villains. My plot would include me shrieking in horror as my children of the corn overflow the bathroom sink with potions and bubbles....

Now because I have become an expert at thwarting my little monsters during half term I have decided to share my 5 tips for surviving half term nearly sane.

1. Have at least one activity that takes more than 15 minutes planned for each day. So far this week we have played on Club Penguin together and started researching a project for school that is due after half term. If you plan for doing something for 15 min with the kids most likely it will take at least and hour. That is one hour less for them to tornado your house.

2. Get the kids out of the house for a bit. This doesn't have to be expensive, just a trip down to the local park or to a friend's house for an hour is enough. Just let them not be cooped up. Remember just cold weather does not give kids colds.

3. Rent a movie. 2 hours of blissful peace. Unless your kids won't watch a movie. Then you need to think about trading your kids in for a new model or putting them on Freecycle. I kid of course...

4. Take a break for a bit. Seriously your kids are school aged, they should be able to find something not messy to occupy themselves for half an hour or so. Go enjoy a cup of tea or a couple chapters of a book; they can't make that much trouble on their own for a bit.

5. Do something silly with your kids. You would be amazed at how entertaining having a silly face contest with your kids can be. Doing something completely zany can break up the monotony of half term and make you less likely to completely lose your mind.

oh and wine. ;)


Friday, February 10, 2012

Dear So and So...Rewiring

Dear Readers,

You may have noticed that I have been sparsely blogging lately. Mostly because I need to rewire my brain a bit, also because there has been relatively little drama at the Bungalow. Wouldn't you know it the week after I was Parentdish's Blog Of the Week, I of course can't think of anything to blog about...figures. So, I spent the week reading trashy historical romance novels and going about my daily life (which is so completely boring sometimes that watching paint dry would be more entertaining). All the while I was lamenting in my head my lack of posts, as one does when they are a blogger. Writers block, you are the bane of my very existence.

So then I was sitting around and thinking and talking to myself (like you haven't done that before *scoff*) and decided that I need to do a bit of rewiring. More living, more activities and more blogging (See living your life and more activity equals more blog material. Fairly easy equation), less sitting around and reading trashy romance novels and swearing at the snow on the ground. Live to blog not blog to live. Time to get out of the house, freeze my bootay off, and do a bit of life rewiring.

Love, Kat
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Dear Mr Taxi Cab Driver,

Did you think you were going to get off so easy because I sat there and wrote that note to my readers first? Oh you are soooo wrong Mr. Let's go over correct shuttling children to school procedure. You show up and wait for my kids to get out to your cab. If they do not show up after lets say 2 minutes, you knock on my door. You do not just leave. I have NEVER not told you when my kids will not be in the taxi. I have always given you notice by either calling my friend who lives the stop before me, or told you the day before. This morning was a NIGHTMARE because I had to defrost my car and shovel the snow off of it before I could get it out of my driveway. My kids were late to school for the second time ever. Not acceptable if you know my anal retentive nature about punctuality. Needless to say it's a good thing that there is no school next week and I might have time to reign in my fury before I see you next.

Grrrrr, Mad Mummy Kat
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Dear Readers (Again),

If you have letters of your own, don't forget to link up!

Love, Kat
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Friday, February 3, 2012

Dear So and So...Time Management

Dear Fledgling Business,

Thankfully you are going to plan. My schedule is filling up and I am excited! Yay!

Love, Kat
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Dear Creative Writing Club at Primary School,

I am so glad you kids are taking to this club like ducks to water. I love reading all your amazing stories and ideas. I even love it when you just write a sentence and draw a picture because you are using your imagination and THAT is brilliant. Most of all, I love that I can share my passion with young eager minds. You guys are stars!

Love, Kat
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Dear Weight Watchers,

Sorry, I quit. Too many other commitments. I will be watching what I eat, but I can't afford the time out to go to weigh in. Cest la vie.

Not Quite So Thin, Kat
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Dear Bible Study Friends,

You lot are amazing. Thank you for supporting my new business, understanding the stresses that I am going through and encouraging me. It is such a blessing to have like minded women in my corner.

Love, Kat
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Dear Readers,

If you have your own letters, please link up. Now, I am late for a coffee date, so excuse me as I leave unceremoniously. *Grabs bags and heads out the door*

Love, Kat
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Earring Saga Continues...

LaLa is still walking around with one earring. She won't let me remove it. On Friday we attempted to get the other earring placed, but she went into freak out mode and wouldn't let my friend even get the earring gun near her head. She made the decision that she would like to just take out the first earring, but the ear was still tender so we decided to wait a couple more days before removing it. No big deal. If she doesn't want to attempt the second earring again, I'm not going to push it.

Flash forward to Sunday night.

"Mum, can your friend come back and pierce my other ear?"

I think my head just exploded a bit. Is she having a laugh?

It wouldn't be a big deal if my friend lived locally, but she moved away from the immediate area and now lives about 30-45 min away. So, it isn't like she can just pop round anytime she likes. So, I thought about my answer before I responded to LaLa.

"You know she lives far away and that it is very out of her way to come over here and for you to waste her time. Before I ask her to come all the way over here are you SURE you want the other earring done?"

"I do, but I might freak out again."

"If you're gonna freak out I'm not going to call her. Why don't we wait a few more days before I call her and you have a think about if you are going to sit still and let her do it or if you are going to spaz again."

(Believe me, spaz is the appropriate word.)


"Alright. Maybe if I just cuddle my huggle buddy, then I won't care about the sound of the earring gun."

"Good plan, have a think about it."

So, she is still thinking and still walking around with one earring. I gave my friend a heads up and told her that I would come to her if it would be more convenient. Oh the joys of parenting...