Friday, March 27, 2009

Can't I Just Have One Uneventful Evening?

I didn't blog yesterday *gasp*. I know, I know you guys missed me. Or at least that is what I tell myself. Anyhoo, yesterday my hubby worked day shift for the first time in umpteen months and I was looking forward to actually being able to relax a little in the evening. HA!

In order to start my evening of not doing crap I ordered pizza for dinner. It was fabulous. Really. Dominos here in the UK, I don't know what they do differently but it puts American Dominos to shame. Seriously. So after dinner I watched a little t.v., the girls played all around the house and The Man played a little guitar back in the "office" (which isn't really an office yet- it is more like a storage room for all the crap we have that we don't know what to do with here in the new house).

Now, you guys all know my trampy dog "the beast", well she was in an especially frisky mood and wanted to play. I was more than willing to oblige. I got her nice and riled up. She was barking (which she rarely does), rolling over, jumping on me, jumping from couch to couch, yes she was sufficiently wound up. Then when she was sitting on my lap and wagging her tail nub with enthusiastic gusto, KiKi came over and petted her. The dog peed on my lap. Yes you read that right. She peed on me. She was so wound up and excited that she peed on me. Not a little bit. A lot.

Ewww Ewww Eww. Get it off me! I ran to the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. To which my husband gave me this look like "Dude, what the hell" to which I responded "The damn dog just peed on me!!" Washed myself off and I changed clothes. Still can't believe she peed on me. Then I went back to watching t.v. on the couch (sans dog). Lovely loafing about ensued.

After the kids took a bath I was getting them into their pjs. Then this lovely conversation happened.

LaLa- *pointing at her chest" Mom look at my nipples!
Me- What about them?
Her- I want them to get bigger!
Me- *silence*
Her I want them to get bigger!!!!
Me- Um..well they aren't going to right now. Lets get dressed so you can go brush your hair and teeth.
Her- Nipples Nipples Nipples!!!! (she thinks saying that word is hilarious at this point)
Me- Ok LaLa (I had finished dressing her by now), go get your teeth brushed.

Why dear Lord are these girls trying to give me gray hair early? I am not a prude by any stretch. But I really did not expect the "I want bigger boobs" talk to happen at the age of 5. Maybe at 12. I don't know that I actually handled it as much as avoided it. Eh. Oh well. She can talk about this with her therapist when she is older.

26 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

When I got home last night there was wee all over the sofa. Living dangerously my wife had been holding the naked baby who had covered her and the sofa in wee and lots of it!

Captain Dumbass said...

Now if you had boys they could entertain you by standing up in the bathtub and showing you how far they can stretch themselves. Good times.

Badass Geek said...

Nothing like a puddle of dog pee to really turn the fun up a notch.

Bee and Rose said...

Nipples and pee...a dangerous combination, but what a hilarious blog post you have out of it!

Single Parent Dad said...

Another 'normal' evening at the Bungalow then?

Jenni said...

oh god dog pee is the worst! and. lmfao at lala! reminds me of a good boob story i should blog about.

Bobby G said...

LMAO! I cant believe the dog pissed on you! lol Thats hilarious, but I kinda feel bad!

Jess said...

LOL! And interestingly, the conversation never stops after that. Unless, of course, she get HUGE tatas and then it will be I want smaller ones! Oh how I look forward to stories as they grow!

Mama Dawg said...

Nipples, nipples, nipples.

That kid sure is a barrel of laughs.

The kid across the highway called them "nibbles" for ages until I corrected her.

Laura said...

That sucks your dog peed on you! And I think thats pretty normal your 5 your old is seeing other bigger boobs on girls and wants some of her own. I remember when my sisters and I were younger and we were putting on my mom's bras and stuffing them with socks... or maybe we were just really wierd? Its all relative I guess...

Sprite's Keeper said...

Poor Elizabeast. She probably lost some bladder control after carrying all those puppies! It's a normal post-term symptom!
Nipples? Way too funny for a Friday which makes it perfect!

rachael chatoor said...

My 5 year old is pretty wishful of growing boobies too. I think its an age where they start to understand gender, and so they want to look like Mom. LOL, disconcerting though isn't it?


Kids and dogs, just having them, means you have to get used to someone frequently throwing up or peeing on you it seems. ;)

chicky*baby said...

LOL my kid likes to point mine out and say mom you have big boobies and I have little bitty ones. Shes 3 and she also told me that she wants a bra. Yep good convos all around.

Cape Cod Gal said...

I must admit that the word "nipples" makes me giggle too! Then I start crying when I remember that I have no boobs!

Jen said...

it never fails, you think that you are going to get peace and then you don't. Funny post.

Sammanthia said...

I love the word "nipples". Sometimes I yell it in the middle of Walmart just to see what people will do.
I get bored easily.

MikeH said...

I've never tried a Domino's Pizza in the UK because I recall how bad they were in the US; maybe it's time to give one a try, but without the dog wee ;)

Comedy Goddess said...

There is an inner hotsy totsy in every young girl. Mine is into bikini underwear. Probably wants a thong by next year.

Jessica said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAA! That is classic. My five year old daughter wants to know when she'll be allowed to wear deodorant. I didn't realize that was something to look forward to??

Yaya said...

Ew! You got peed on! Lol!

And gotta love a good nipple story.

for a different kind of girl said...

Does LaLa say nipples with an English accent? Because that would be even more hilarious!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Yuck! We had a dog that would "piddle" every time she got overexcited when I was little. It makes for funny anecdotes but is a pain in the ass to clean up.

Now about your "stripper-named" little one begging for bigger nipples.... What the ???? ;-)

(who was it who said your girls have stripper names? Your mom or MIL? I laughed so hard when I read that ages ago. :D )

Auntie A said...

I guess I will have to call LaLa
"MS. THANG." That's what we call one of Madd's friends who has been infatuated with bras and boobs since age 3. Oh, she likes anything leopard print also!!!

Lola said...

Hehehe, big nipples! My son announced that his weenis looked like a rocket ship ready to launch the other night when we were sitting on the couch. I told him to go brush his teeth and get in bed, completely avoiding the whole conversation.

SweetPeaSurry said...

He he he ... nipples. I see the humor there. I'm giggling now, and I've had them for AGES and AGES!!!

I guess it really is too much to ask to have an un-eventful evening. But consider how much you'll have to look back on when ya kids are grown. Really ... you should write this stuff down.

Oh wait, you ARE writing this stuff down. DUH!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I love reading your writing! Lots of laughs and real life!!

Awesome!!!!!