Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Semi-Wordless Wed

So...this is what happens when KiKi dumps an almost full bottle of soap into the bath...




Tuesday, December 29, 2009

RTT- Overview of the year

Since it is the end of the year, I thought it would be a good idea to take a look at what has happened in the world of the Bungalow in the last year. For other random head to Keely's place by clicking the purple button (it doesn't hurt...much).

randomtuesday

I just looked at my first post of this year and it was an open letter to perspective military wives. It was good for me to go back and read it. Sometimes even I need a reminder.

KiKi will still take a pickle over sweets.

We still have absolutely crazy weather here in England. I think I have this opinion because the weather websites here are not nearly as detailed as in the states. I miss seeing weather maps in motion. It also can rain slush here. That is just weird.

I still miss oyster roasts.

I have now seen London more than once. I have seen Cambridge a number of times. I plan on seeing as much of the UK as I can before I leave. Where to next?

I have been to 3 castles this year!

I am STILL hating the laundry situation in this house.

I still can't relate to people who dread taking their kids to the grocery store. It really isn't that hard.

Remember when my cat broke my toilet?

I still laugh at pubs with funny names.

LaLa is still weird.

I still laugh at the fact my mom farted at Windsor Castle.

Mr.PunkRock (LaLa's teacher) is still completely awesome. I love it that he tells them "come on, you horrible lot!"

Crack is still whack.

We moved. I still love the new house. Although my prediction of not being able to hear the kids if they were in their rooms was COMPLETELY wrong.

hurmm I guess that is it for now. I guess we'll just have to see what the next year brings!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Preparations

He will be gone soon. "Down Range" as they call it. So we in addition to making every moment this Christmas count, we have been preparing. Buying odds and ends: sleeping bags, toiletries, new running shoes. Asking parents for care packages that contain items we couldn't find like reading lights and electric blankets (apparently it is really cold in Afghanistan). Then packing all these things into two standard issue green duffle bags. Checking and double checking (and then The Man triple checking and quadruple checking cause well, that is what he does). Making lists of things for me to remember, and then him putting them on my iCal (he even put "feed cat and dog" on there everyday until he gets back). We took care of bills to be paid, figured out the budget, found his will (just in case), and got all the recycling organized so I can take it to the dump.

Then soon, he will go. Until then, we are enjoying every single moment together as a family.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ah Crap

We knew this day was coming...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

For LaLa on Her Birthday

Dear Sweet Girl,

In honor of your sixth birthday I am putting together a list of my favorite LaLa-isms...

"Dad you are the snow attacker and we are the snow offenders!!!"

"Why do you keep saying no?"

To my friend S- "I keep whining until my mom gives me what I want." (At least she is honest)

"Santa can't have a belly full of jelly! He'd DIE!"

"Do you want to play noughts and crosses?" ME- "Tic tac toe?" Her-"Noughts and crosses" (She is becoming British)

"Mr. F says 'come on your horrible lot!' and then we say 'we're not horrible!!'"

"DAD! THAT'S DARF VADER!!"

"You can't get me! I have ONE THOUSAND hearts!!!" (maybe she watches too many video games?)

In the movie Astroboy "He had a gum machine in his butt!!!" (which means he had a machine gun in his butt...I think the movie would have been cool either way)

"Mom, I am brilliant at maths!!!"

You aren't just brilliant at Maths, LaLa. You are just brilliant. I love you.

XOXOXOX, Mom




Friday, December 18, 2009

GAH! Make It STOP!

"Mom, if I eat too many of these chicken nuggets I will get really FAT!" LaLa announced to me at dinner tonight.

It took a minute for me to digest this statement in my head. My "nearly six" year old daughter thinks she will get fat if she eats her dinner. My daughter, who is so slight, so thin, thinks she will get fat. My daughter who is ONLY "nearly six" thinks about body issues. MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!!

"Honey, if you eat what you are supposed to eat you will be healthy," is the only thing I can come up with at the time. "You don't have to worry about being fat," I say reassuringly.

"Yeah, I don't want to be fat!"

My heart dies a bit inside. Yes, I don't want her to ever be fat either, but she shouldn't worry about this stuff, not when she is "nearly six". I have struggled with my weight since adolescence. I know how cruel kids can be. However, I have taken care not to ever bring my issues up in front of my daughter. I don't call myself fat in front of her, not even jokingly. In fact, I just don't use the "F" word ever. Fat just isn't in my vocabulary.

"Please don't worry about this. You just eat whatever you like, you're not fat. In fact, you are quite thin, but you don't want to be too skinny. Just please, don't worry about these things,"

"Yeah, I don't want to be too skinny or too fat. I want to be just right! When will I be just right? When I am older??"

"Baby, you are already perfect just the way you are."

She is my perfect "nearly six" year old.


Dear So and So...Winter Nightmare

Dear Readers,

Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Godspeed, Kat
-----------------

Dear Mother Nature,

I love snow or rather, I love the way snow looks from the inside of my nice warm house. Melt soon.

Thanks in advance, Kat
------------------

Dear Power Company,

Please refer to the letter to mother nature when I said I like to look at the snow from my nice WARM house. I guess that wasn't to be, eh? Yeah when the power cut happened at 9:30pm, I didn't panic. Surely it would come back on soon. I mean, there was only an inch of snow on the ground. Surely you wouldn't let us freeze all night. I was wrong. 14 hours later and two false alarms and I finally had my power back. BTW, my kids blame you for not being able to go play outside until we got our heat back.

Still Bitter and a Bit Frozen, Kat
-----------------

Dear Self,

Get to work! You have cupcakes to bake for LaLa's birthday party (if anyone shows up now due to the snow) tomorrow. Oh and you have a house to pick up as well. GAH! I said get off the computer and work you silly cow!!

Yes Ma'am, Kat
-----------------

Dear Readers (once again),

If you participated in Dear So and So... please leave you link with Mr. Linky so I can stop by your place and read all your letters...weather permitting.

Love, Kat

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Kat's Ridiculously Easy Cooking- Faux Lasagna

It tastes like lasagna with half the time and none of that fusing about with layering noodles. If you are a vegetarian you could totally leave out the hamburger and I bet it would be lovely to substitute in some sauteed zucchini (oooh I might do that myself...yummm). So, here ya go, another one of Kat's Ridiculously easy recipes.

8oz Rotini Twist Pasta (or whatever is on hand..mine was rotini and mac)
1 Jar Spaghetti Sauce (I do Prego Traditional)
1 lb hamburger
3 cups Mozzarella Cheese
(sometimes I add Pepperoni too)
Seasonings- I use black pepper, Mrs Dash tomato basil, and oregano

Brown hamburger meat w/ seasonings; drain. While browning meat cook pasta.
Jar of sauce in the pan with the hamburger meat (add more seasoning if desired). SImmer together for a bit.
Drain pasta. Combine pasta and sauce mixture in a 9X13 baking dish. Add 1 cup of cheese. If you are gonna add pepperoni now would be the time as well. Mix up.
Cover with other 2 cups of cheese. Bake 350 (180 C) until nice and bubbley.

Seriously, this is majorly yummy. Kid tested and approved as well. No seriously, if LaLa will eat it, then any kid will.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The News

There is no way to break this news gracefully. Some of you may remember my post from this summer called "The Fear". Well, the fear is becoming a reality. The Man is being deployed to Afghanistan soon. I have known for months that it was coming. Actually I have known for almost a year. It is one of those things I ignored. It was easier to live with my head in the sand. Now, the deployment is staring me straight in the face and I have to pay attention.

We will have Christmas as a family and then all bets are off. Don't worry about me and the girls, we'll be fine. Just please keep my husband in your prayers. He will be on an AF base, but still, it is like the wild wild west over there.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

RTT- Antics at the Bungalow

So, it's Tuesday. Again...it's like they just keep coming or something. Anyhow, onto the random thoughts. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

randomtuesday

Click on that button up there to go to Keely's place for more random.

Yesterday, KiKi nicked a £2 coin off my nightstand. Now, like most American children (and adults), KiKi assumes that change is worthless. However, once you do the conversion, KiKi nicked roughly $3.20 off my nightstand in one fail swoop. How do you feel about your change now?

Also, last night, KiKi decided she would try to outsmart me. I told her it was time for bed, and she was extremely agreeable to the proposition. For those of you who do not know what my children are like, this is not normal. As she was exiting the room I saw the Nintendo DS she had hidden behind her back.

I woke up this morning at 8:10. LaLa's bus comes at 8:25. We made it. Barely.

According to LaLa "Rockstars love mints!" She says this when she has on her faux leather jacket. It is a ploy to get more mints.

I have news for all of you, but this isn't the forum for it. Will write about it later.

Oh and I am completely addicted to Mumford and Sons. They are a group out of London and are extremely talented. Check em out!




Plus they left the best voicemail on Radio 1 DJ, Greg James' phone ever.

Until tomorrow, adieu.






Monday, December 14, 2009

Martha Stewart I am Not...

So it may come as a huge surprise to all of you guys, but I am NOT crafty. I think I failed Stay At Home Mom 101 when it came to this. We have not once made a macaroni necklace or beaded...well anything. The closest I come to crafty is setting out paints, markers and paper and saying "Go wild, girls!" And frankly since the hair incident, scissors are completely off limits. For some reason however I thought "Hey, lets do a gingerbread house this year!" Of course this thought came when I saw the kits at the commissary and realized I had all the ingredients to make the icing at the house already (I am thrifty like that).

Flash forward three weeks to Saturday. After putting it off as possible I finally succumbed to the siren song of the craft project. Well, more like LaLa nagged me until I had lost the will to live and gave in (she is gonna be a great wife one day). Realizing the kit only came with gumdrops, I threw LaLa into the car and ran up to the base for some other sweets to adhere to the house. We may have went a bit overboard...we had gumdrops, orange slices (the candy ones), pepermints, gummy bears, gummy worms and Mike and Ikes. Our house was going to be faaaaaaab-u-lous! At this point I was feeling confident in my gingerbread house abilities. I mean, I had made one in first grade...how hard could it be?

Besides the fact that the roof wanted to slide off and I got icing EVERYWHERE....


....not bad.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear So and So...I Could Really Go For a Red Bull

Dear Landlady's Partner,

I am soooo gonna bake you a sour cream pound cake. You got my septic tank ACTUALLY fixed this time. Mind you, you had to dig up part of my garden to do it, but at least I can live my life without the fear of poo again.

Indebted, Kat
-------------------

Dear Bacon,

I wish I knew how to quit you.

Mmmmm, Kat
-----------------

Dear Primary School,

I understand that there is a "fire code" and only so many parents are allowed to go to each school performance, so I was kinda bummed that I had to get one ticket to the 2 o'clock show instead of 2 tickets to the 6 o'clock show since you ran out. BTW, when you send home notices to the parents, you guys should make sure they actually go into their nice yellow (had to purchase cause you said so)book bag instead of getting shoved to the BOTTOM of the backpack.
*grumble* Kat

PS- My hubster is still mad he didn't get to see LaLa's play. I told him he didn't miss much but I don't think that made him feel any better about it.
----------------------

Dear People (no one in general),

I seriously took my life into my own hands when taking KiKi to school this morning. The fog here is really thick out in the country side. Pea soup thick.

Photographic Proof:
(fairly clear day)


(today)

Now, I am guessing (based on former high school/college marching band experience) that I could see roughly 20 yards (sorry to all the Canadians who don't use Imperial measurements, but I am American and the metric system makes about as much sense to me as why men find the movie "Baseketball" funny). The road outside my house is a 50 mph road and dumbasses don't use headlights sometimes in the mornings. Needless to say I said a little prayer before I pulled out of my driveway this morning. Thankfully nobody was coming, lets see if we can reproduce that little miracle in about an hour when I have to leave again to pick KiKi up from school. The things mothers do for their children's education....

OMG I could have died, Kat
--------------------------

Dear Readers,

If you have any letters please use Mr. Linky so I can come visit your site and read them! I do love a good rant. To all those who didn't write letters, come on, dooooo it. You know you want to!!

Have a nice relaxing weekend ya'll!

Love, Kat


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

RTT- S'not

Have you ever seen a kid sneeze and unintentionally snot rocket themselves? The look of surprise is classic. Oh yeah, Happy Tuesday!

randomtuesday

We all have colds here. The Man was the Ebola monkey for this round of colds. He came home with a tiny man cold last week and that crap propagated in this house like penicillin in a petri dish.

Today I am off to Cambridge to find the "it" toy of the season. Moxie GIrlz. Apparently they are the bastard child of Bratz, only less slutty, more wholesome. I find it hilarious that they promote being unique in their advertising but every little girl in the western world is going to get one for Christmas. I base this estimate on the fact that every time I tried to put one in my Amazon.com basket last night it got snatched out before I had a chance to check out. It was like being robbed in the middle of the Wal-Mart toy section. I was violated people!

Another thing, what is up with these Zhu-Zhu/ Go Go (UK) hamsters? Toy hamsters with their own cages, that run around in circles...yeah it seems cheaper to me to buy the real thing. One of those little hamsters is going for 30 some odd dollars on Amazon. I can get a real hamster for six bucks. Hamsters are evil anyway. I decided that when I worked at a pet store and had to feed the little monsters. Put your hand into a cage of the little Siberian Hamsters....like a pack of wolves I tell you!

I won a contest over at The Lady Who Lunches! I got some fantastic smelling Loose Leaf Chai Tea from the Lahloo tea company. It smells sooo good. I can't stress enough how good it smells. Oh and it kills me to call it Chai Tea because in Russian the word Chai is Tea. So it is really superfluous to say tea.

Did I just use the word superfluous? I knew those vocab lessons in high school would pay off one day!

Alright I am going to go battle the crowds at the Cambridge Toys R Us. Pray for me.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Dear So and So...Really Crappy Situation

Dear Letting Agents,
Thanks for not letting us know we have a septic tank when we moved into the property. You know, it is really awesome when your toilets don't want to flush. I just love plunging crappy toilets to get them to clear out.
Still Hating You, Kat
---------------

Dear Septic Tank Guy,
Thanks for coming and doing well, nothing really. Yes, you got the sludge out of the bottom of the tank, but you never actually got rid of the problem that was messing up my toilets. Then you had the nerve to slap me with a £85 bill for 5 minutes of work.
You SUCK! Kat
---------------

Dear Partner of my Land Lady,
Thanks for coming over at 7pm last night and using your tools to snake out the pipes in my back yard. You not only fixed the problem in about 15 minutes, but you were really nice about it. You are completely awesome and I am now flushing my toilets without fear of turds.
I Totally Owe You A Beer, Kat
---------------

Dear English Weather,
I am aware that it is heading towards winter. I expect cold and I know England is known for prolific rain, but I really need a break. I am tired of being soggy all the time. Hey, I know! How about drop the temperature a couple more degrees so we could at least get snow out of the deal and maybe school would be cancelled a day and I could get some really cute pictures of the girls playing in the snow. Sound like a deal?
Soaked to the Bone, Kat
---------------

Dear Readers,
Thank you so much for coming by each week to read the Dear So and So letters. I really appreciate it. If you have your own letters, please link up with Mr, Linky so we can spread the So and So love.
You Guys are Completely the Most Awesome of Awesome Readers, Kat
-------------------

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Ta-daaa!!

Have you ever just wanted to do backflips and scream at the top of the lungs about how lucky you are?? Yeah, me neither; but today, today is special. MY MACBOOK ISN'T DEAD!!! Hallelujah!! I got it reassembled, did a little prayer, hit the on button and got the tell tale Mac "duuuuun" sound, and then promptly almost peed myself with excitement. The keys are a bit sticky, but other than that, seems to not have any problems. The charger works, mouse pad works, I can get to all my files. It is a Christmastime miracle.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

RTT- Yeah I Screwed Up

Random, brought to you by Keely. Click the button and stuff! (once again after you read this post...or zombies will get you) (zombies may or may not actually get you, don't quote me on it).

randomtuesday

OK so Friday night, I totally screwed up my computer. I am waiting for it to dry out (yeah guess who spilled their drink into the keyboard of a Macbook *raises hand*) and then I am going to put it back together tomorrow and PRAY that it starts back up.

So how am I typing this? Oh my husband just got a nifty netbook from my parents and his parents for his Christmas present. He got to open it early, thank goodness. So at least now I can pay my bills online still...oh and blog.

We got our Christmas Tree on Saturday morning. It is beautimous. I would show you, but that would require uploading photos...and yeah I haven't even got that far on this new computer yet. In fact we just took it out of the box literally an hour ago.

Ok, I have errands to run in my rent a car (yeah that is a whole nother post), so I will bid you auffwidersain.

(You can click the purple button now)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Dear So and So....I Forgot

Dear Readers,

Yes, I am a total slacker and forgot about Dear So and So...I blame the turkey. If you have a Dear So and So.... please feel free to link up. I promise next week I won't be a rudypoo candyass and will remember.

*smooches* Kat

Monday, November 23, 2009

RTT- My Mind Works In Mysterious Ways

Tuesday! Yay! That means I made it through Monday, which in itself is a victory. Now we are know the master of random is Keely, so click on the purple button and head on over to her place to read some more random (after you read mine dangit!!)

randomtuesday

So I have been watching this show on TV here, Heir Hunters. Basically, when someone dies their estate goes into probate and these guys, the heir hunters, go in search living heirs. I am addicted. Seriously addicted. Addicted to the point that now I want to be an heir hunter.

Remember back in the day, before Internet, when your parents were being lazy (or didn't know the answer to your question) and told you to "go look it up". Do you remember what a pain in the butt that was? You were a lucky one if you had a set of reference books in your house, if not you had to traipse down to the local library. Then if you were lucky enough to actually FIND the answer, you had more questions and then you had to look up what the answers to them too. Now we have wikipedia. I love wikipedia, but I think I am still going to torture my kids when they get older and teach them how to look things up the old fashion way.

I finally got the wardrobe in my bedroom put together!! Now it won't look like my closet exploded in my bedroom! Well as soon as I have time to get all those clothes hung up.

I have started doing laundry with a trash bag next to me. When I am folding clothes I fill that bag with clothes to be donated to charity. Purge, purge, purge. My kids have enough clothes to clothe a 3rd world nation. I am not exaggerating.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments yesterday about Thanksgiving. I am starting to really look forward to it. Today I went through my cookbooks and pulled out all my holiday recipes.

Macaroni and Cheese can never have too much cheese.

My house might not be completely unpacked but it is starting to feel like home. Well, except I still can't find anything. Such is the life of a military wife...if you know exactly where the tape was at your old house, but you have no idea where the tape is at your new house...*sigh*

Alrighty then, I think I am about randomed out. Now you can go click on the purple button. Now. Go.

A Year and Thanksgiving

I have lived in England a year now. I know, hard to believe. While I still feel like a fish out of water sometimes (ok..a lot of the time), I have gotten to the point where it is starting to feel a bit like home. I have a normal routine. I have priceless friends. I know the rules of the road. I have my bearings.

Then Thanksgiving rolls around. How do you describe a holiday that has no significance to friends who have no frame of reference? I mean really, it is a holiday that can sound quite silly to those who have not grown up with it.

"It is a celebration of...ummm...a bountiful harvest. The old wives tale is that the Pilgrims and Indians celebrated the first Thanksgiving together, but that is really silly because the Pilgrims and Indians pretty much hated each other. So...anyhoo, we get together as a family, cook a huge turkey, make green bean casserole, and other side dishes...eat until we are about to explode and then watch football...no not THAT football. Oh and pie, there is lots of pie."

This year I was dead set against cooking a Thanksgiving dinner. It is a lot of work and there are only four of us here to enjoy it. That, from my frame of reference, is no way to spend Thanksgiving. Really, the food is only a small portion of the Thanksgiving equation. Thanksgiving is really about being with family and friends. Spending time with people you love (even the ones who annoy you to no end) and reconnecting is then main reason for Thanksgiving. Then I had a change of heart. I am not doing Thanksgiving for me. I am doing it for my kids, so they have a frame of reference. It is part of our culture. They need to build Thanksgiving memories just as I did. Sure, their Thanksgiving might be a little smaller on the years that we can't visit the rest of our family, but it is still a time for us to reconnect with each other, invite over friends (even those who don't understand it), and have a day where we can say "Thanks. Thanks for giving us each other."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Dear So and So...Road Rage...It Happens

Dear Person Biking on the B1112,

I do realize that in the UK bike riders are prohibited from biking on the footpaths (if there are footpaths), but your decision to ride down a busy road, at rush hour, and at dusk was truly a stupid decision. While I mean you no harm, don't be surprised if I am slowly creeping behind you and trying to hold in cuss words while you inch along and I try to find an opening to get around you. Oh and stopping on a bridge to fix the leg on your trousers, inexcusable.

Frustrated With Kids in the Backseat, Kat
----------------

Dear Dude on Motorcycle,

It is pretty bad when this is the conversation I have with my 3 year old when driving behind you..

Me-*frustrated and directed at you Mr. MotorcycleMan* Oh My GOODNESS! Could you possibly go any slower in the roundabout??? GAH!
KiKi (to me)- JUST GO!!!
Me- I can't!
KiKi(to MotorcycleMan)- GOOOOOO!

Yes, your driving was even annoying the 3 year old. Now, I know driving a motorcycle is dangerous, but you know what is also dangerous? Going waaaay below the speed limit and making really slow turns on a motorcycle. Move it or lose it buddy!

Drive it Like You Mean It!!, Kat
-------------------

Dear Liz,

You stink! No, really, you smell bad. I think a bath is in order.

Love, Human Mama Kat
-----------------

Dear Readers,

How are you liking the new comment thing a ma bob? I think I like it. Anyhoo, if you are participating in Dear So and So... please leave a link with Mr. Linky so we can all find you.

Toodles, Kat
-----------------

Thursday, November 19, 2009

What Ever Happened To Common Sense Parenting?

Since recently reading a Dear So and So letter by my friend NFAH; I can't help but wonder what ever happened to parental common sense?

To give you the basics of what happened she was at The Royal Academy of Arts in London with a friend of hers to view an exhibit by one of her favorite artists Anish Kapoor. Unfortunately her experience was ruined by the presences of imbecilic parents who brought their young children along. From what I can gather, the children were running amongst the sculptures, being loud and one of the parents had the audacity to give one of the children a snack right there at the exhibit (ya know, where priceless pieces of art were on display).

In this day and age of hyper-parenting, parenting has become less about the child and more of a competition between parents. Over-scheduling children and taking them to places they will not enjoy, much less remember, has become increasingly prevalent. Children are no longer found just enjoying themselves at a playground, instead they are being dragged from one "enriching" activity to another.

A three year old at an art exhibit? Is that really enriching? Really? Will they ever remember it? Nope, probably not. Now, I am all for enrichment, but age appropriate enrichment. Taking a child to a dinosaur exhibit at the local natural history/science museum or going to see Sesame Street Live, is much more pleasurable to a child than going to a place or event intended for adults. Nice dinners at expensive restaurants should be for adults, I don't care how "well behaved" your child is. Spills, unintentional loud talking, and squeals tend to come out of children during meal times, even in fancy restaurants. Kids don't care about the ambiance*.

Sometimes I think the kids aren't even really part of the equation. I think parents just feel that they aught to be able to do something "fun" for once. Is it really fun though when you have to remember to bring along a stroller, diaper bag, snacks, and the sippy cup? Don't forget you have to remind junior to mind their manners every three seconds. Is that really fun? No, it isn't fun. It isn't relaxing. It is a chore. Plus you are disturbing those around you who chose to leave their kids at home, or those who don't have children. Is that fair to them? They paid the price of admission as well. Maybe they would like to enjoy their afternoon or evening out as well. If parents want to do something "fun", a babysitter should be hired for the event. Or maybe sometimes parents of small children just need to get their heads out of the butts, take one for the team, and just stay home.

*Believe me when someone pays over 100 £/$ for a meal for two, they DO care about the ambiance and they weren't counting on your little "angel" being there.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

He's Lucky He's Cute



I just spent 15 minutes trying to recapture POW Sam Kitty. His last jail break occurred right as I was taking LaLa out to the bus, in the middle of a wind storm. The wind naturally terrifying the prisoner cat means that he took cover under my deck; the gigantic deck on the back of my house. For 15 minutes I had to coax, plead, threaten, coo, and cuss at Sam Kitty before he would come close enough for me to scruff him on the back of his neck and drag him out. Little bastard.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Testing New Comment System and an Observation

I am trying a new comment system. This should allow me to better respond to comment and heck, maybe I will even get all the comments to come to my email inbox like they are supposed to! Let me know if it is working for you.

Oh and a little observation-

Humor to a 5 year old- Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the moooooo-vies.

Humor to a 3 year old- Why did the horsie cross the road? To get to the horsie movies!!!! *intense laughter*

RTT-A Look at The New House



What? Like you don't keep Band-Aids next to your cooking utensils...

Oh yeah and it is Tuesday, so go click on the fancy dancy shiny purple button to get to Keely's place for a little random!

randomtuesday

Ok, so I have gotten a few requests for a look at the new digs. The only problems with this is the fact that my house looks like someone took a soda can of my old house and shook it up then opened it up on the inside of my new house...yeah it is a bit of a mess. But THEN I figure...these people know I just moved so, maybe they will not be so judgmental. I guess we'll see eh?


This is the front of my house. Now, notice the bags of trash on the outside...yeah we have to take those to the dump, they are from the old house, since we had to remove ALL trash from the premises.


Looking out from my front yard across the road. I can't make much commentary other than *sigh*, it is so relaxing out here. Oh, and it was colder than a witches tit in a brass bra outside when I was taking these pictures so you better appreciate them!

The kitchen...yes, that is a vacuum in my kitchen. Yes, I have carpet in the kitchen. OK that is the ONE thing that sucks about this house. That and you see that dish drainer next to the sink. That is because I am the dishwasher. That stinks too.


The living room. It is so big that The Man insists we need a big screen TV and a stripper pole for it. Men and their silly dreams...there is no way we're getting a big screen TV....or a stripper pole...


Bathroom...big. Shower stall is across from the toilet.



And the backyard...*sigh*

So that is the house...minus the bedrooms and utility room. You guys really didn't need to see those right? Good, cause my bedroom looks like my closet threw up on it right now. Enough fun for right now, I need to see a man about a shelf for the rest of my pantry items because I don't have enough cabinets in the kitchen.


Friday, November 13, 2009

Dear So and So...Titles Are Soooo Two Weeks Ago

Dear New Owners of the Old House,

Enjoy that cursed piece of crap. Good riddance!

HaHa, Kat
-----------------
Dear Victims of the MW2 Virus (Modern Warfare 2),

I hear this virus is just like H1n1...only with more dying, explosives and cussing. Oh and I hear lack of sleep is another side effect. The treatment is to put down the gaming console controller for an ENTIRE 8 hours. Good luck, and Godspeed.

*Shakes Head in Disbelief* Kat

PS- Up 36 hours to play a game?? REALLY?
---------------

Dear New House,

I love you! I love you! I love you! Don't do me wrong like the last place. Ok? Thanks!

Love, Kat
----------------

Dear Bus Driver,

I don't care if I have to get up 30 minutes earlier to get LaLa on the bus on time. You have made my mornings so much easier! I would kiss you if it wasn't entirely inappropriate.

Awesome! Kat
---------------

Dear Letting Agent,

Yes, I was totally insulting you passive aggressively when I said "The quicker we get this done, the sooner I can quit dealing with you." I may have covered it up and pretended that isn't exactly what I meant, but it was. You are completely useless. You screwed up my bank account, you have poor math skills and generally suck. Thank goodness from now on I can deal directly with my landlord and not YOU!

Adios A-Hole, Kat
------------------

Dear Readers,

If you would like to participate in Dear So and So.... please leave your link with Mr. Linky so I can come read all your lovely letters! Thanks! You guys are wonderful!

*Big Gigantic Bear Hugs* Kat
----------------


Thursday, November 12, 2009

...And Then I Fell Over From Exhaustion

So did I tell you this move consisted of me, The Man, a whiny 3 year old and a truck?? Yep, that was the entire moving crew. Also, if you were following my tweets on Wednesday you would have seen that the new owners of the old house were also building a fence at the house while we were moving. Let me tell you how awesome that was! It was so awesome that they were in our way, cluttering the driveway with their work van, saws, jackhammer, wood, bodies, and suck-a-tude. Oh they kindly left some panels out of the fence so we could move the couch. So helpful of them...Bitter? Me? Nooooo.

Now, we all know I have this thing about spiders. The thing being I bloody hate the bastards. So, when we left the removal of things in the garage until 6pm (dark here) (and a stroke of brilliance on our part) (like I needed more blogging material) we should have known that the creepy crawly icky icky poo poo HUGE spiders would be out en mass! Did I mention that The Man is more afraid of spiders than I am? The process consisted of spinning a box around and out of the garage, screaming, squashing a spider and then doing the "get it off me" dance....for the better part of an hour. The best part is when I would gasp and he would yell "Where is it?" and start bobbing and weaving to make sure it didn't get on his head. Sometimes I would gasp just for fun and then say, "Oh, nevermind it's just a shadow." (I am giggling now as I write that)(cause I am evil). It was pure comedy gold.

What wasn't pure comedy gold was the muscles that I didn't know I had aching for days. Moving heavy furniture is not for girls. The 9000 pound chest of drawers we have was pure murder on my back. Don't even get me started on the couch that didn't want to fit through the kitchen door into the living room. The door had to come off the hinges for that one. Oh and the letting agents, well you know how useless they are.

BUT, the joke is on all of them. This is the view I have out my kitchen window!




Monday, November 9, 2009

How I Moved House in 4 Days and Lived to Tell About It

...or If Anyone Ever Tells You They Enjoy Moving House They Are A Dirty Filthy Liar! (you can tell them I said that too). So I am alive right now, in the new house, internetless, tv less, and it pretty much looks like a bomb went off. BUT I have some funny stories to tell you, cause duh, like I could do anything without making a total fiasco out of it.... Right now, however, I am at the base library and only have 117 minutes remaining on my aloted time (THEY RATION IT?!?!?) Tomorrow I SHOULD have my broadband back up (pray for me). Until then I am relying on my blackberry. You should follow my twitter updates (3bedroom).

Oh. and The Man, pretty much almost took out "the twins" with our entertainment center. I am sorry guys, if you can manage to nail yourself in the nuts with a piece of furniture, believe me, I am gonna drop my end of the piece of furniture and fall into a fit of giggles. It is just how it is.

Take Care! I will try to post again soon. *Air Kisses*

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Straight From IM

Talking to Captain Dumbass:

ok, so my new house
I don't know if I have enough furniture
a trip to IKEA may be in order
...like that's a bad thing...
.... they have childcare
I might never return

I couldn't make this stuff up

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

RTT-My Excuse is Jet Lag

Last time I flew to England I had a bunch of guest posters lined up to distract you from the fact that I couldn't post due to jet lag; this time not so much. So I will distract you with some random..Thank Keely and hit the purple button.

randomtuesday

My eyeballs hurt so I think they might fall out of my head. Hypochondriac? Me? Nooo.

POW Sam Kitty has been acting really really friendly to me since I got home. Either he missed me or he is planning something. We'll see.

Apparently Jet Lag doesn't affect kids.

I have the keys to the new house. Actually I have boxes packed into the Jeep to take over there now, I just figured I should post something first. Blogging addiction? Noooo.

More distraction...

Oh and there was this lady sitting behind me on the plane who talked the whole entire 7 hour flight. I don't think she even took a breath. THE. ENTIRE. TIME. I know all about her failed relationships and slimy ex husband. OMG lady shut your pie hole and try to sleep like the rest of us!!!


Friday, October 30, 2009

Dear So and So...I Am Way to Used to Living in the Country

Dear Drivers on I526,

The left hand lane is a passing lane! You should not cruise in the FAST lane. 45 mph is not acceptable in the FAST lane. For the love of baby unicorns and rainbows get your buttocks out of the way!

Damn IT MOVE!!, Kat
-----------------

Dear KiKi,

In the immortal words of Whitney Houston, "Crack is whack!"


BOBBAY!!! (thanks Jess), Kat
-------------------

Dear Captain Dumbass,

Thanks for taunting me with your enchiladas. Asshat.

I still don't have my crab legs and had to eat pizza, Kat
----------------------

Dear Hackers,

If you could tell me how to be able to get Hulu when I am back in the UK I would be much obliged.

Thanks, Kat
----------------------

Dear Readers,

I'm baaaack! If your playing along don't forget to add your link with Mr. Linky!

Smooches!, Kat
--------------------


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

RTT- Vacation Random

It's Tuuuuuuesday! Throw your hands all up in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care...oh and click on the fabulous purple button to get the rest of the days random from the master of random Keely.

randomtuesday

So, my mother's dog, Puppy, he doesn't understand that the backyard is "outside". If you are out there and you say "do you want to go outside?" he runs to the front door.

My mother has figured out how to figure out if KiKi has been in a room...if the light is on, she has been there. My mom goes through the house turning off lights and KiKi is right behind her turning them all back on again. Vicious cycle people.

On Sunday we went to CharlesTown Landing, which is where the first settlement of Charleston was located. We got some very pretty pictures while we were down there.




KiKi does NOT like to be called Coconut Head. Just a warning.

So I went to a concert at a church in the middle of the sticks on Sunday night. I was riding with my mom, my granny, my aunt and the pastor's wife of my mothers church. The pastors wife was driving. So we were looking for this street and by our calculations off of mapquest we knew it was coming up. We were also battling the sun which was very strong and setting on the horizon, making the street signs VERY difficult to read. So we ALMOST missed our turn...going about 45 miles an hour. Basically the preacher's wife did a power slide into the church parking lot. It was awesome.

It isn't a party at my parents in laws house until someone tells someone to get the beer out of the family photo...at a baby shower. Or shall we call it a baby-que..half baby shower half barbeque. Basically we all sat around told my sister in law her cute her belly was, ate massive amounts of BBQ and drank some beers (of course she didn't drink, duh), ate cake, and opened presents. Good times had by all.

Ok I am randomed out. Stay tuned for more updates. More pictures tomorrow. I'm out ya'll, have a fabulous Tuesday!


Monday, October 26, 2009

Hall Pass!

Have you guys met Jess? You know my crazy ass friend down in Savannah; the one I have been promising to visit for almost a year now? I finally got down there to visit. Ya see, Savannah is literally less than a two hour drive from Charleston, so when I got the invitation, I was all over it like a fat kid on cake. I just had to sort childcare and transportation. You know since I didn't want to pull a "Sweet Home Alabama" and have someone say "You have a baby....in a bar...."

Anyhoo, I drove down there Thursday afternoon and met Jess at her work (after my GPS lost the satellites and I had to call Jess saying "I am lost! Where there hell am I. Lucky for me I was only a couple of blocks down past her work) and gave her a ride home. There I met Bobby, my older gay musical twin brother, and Krystal, who is entirely too sweet for words. Eventually Larkin and Master Wog showed up and we headed out to River Street in Savannah. Well, actually we headed to The Bar Bar. Got some deeply discounted drinks from Jess' buddy Christine, who is a bartender there. Definitely off to a good start there.

Next we had a walk down to River Street, where I composed this little letter in my head: "Dear Homeless People of Savannah, No I do not have any spare money. You see I have this thing called a bank account, which gives me this thing called a debit card which allows me to buy this thing in my hand called beer. Now, If I gave you money it would give me less money for this thing in my hand called beer. Go get a job, and quit begging the tourists (and locals) for money. Seriously! Kat.

On river street we also went to this place called the echo circle, where you stand in the middle of this circle of pavement, that is surrounded by a brick boarder and trees and OMGoodness your voice echos back to you and it is really trippy. After that we headed off to our actually destination Bay Street Blues so we could get down to the business at hand (writing peoples names on the wall).


For Captain Dumbass



After Bay Street blues we met up with Mitzy (if you count now we have four bloggers together plus our entourage) then headed down to Blaine's. Awesome awesome awesome gay bar in Savannah where Larkin, Jess and Bobz sang karaoke. Which I would have totally done but SOME PEOPLE didn't wait for me to see the book with them...nevermind the fact that I was probably at the bar getting another beer..(umm hello, $10 all you can drink beer!). They were fabulous anyway and made shout outs to me on stage, which means they are completely forgiven.


Anyone wanna Shoop?



Don't cha wish you girlfriend was hot like me?

When I finally fell asleep on the magic couch, after the best biscuits and gravy EVER, I may or may have not been really drunk (thank you, $10 all you can drink beer at Blaine's) and I had definitely had one of the best nights in my life. I finally met in person some of my best buddies ever and had a complete blast. Now, if that isn't a ringing endorsement to go meet your "bloggy friends", I don't know what is. You will never know how much fun you could have until you try.





Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Notes From Charleston or How Jet Lag Made Me It's B*tch

So I have always been on of those people who thought Jet Lag was more mind over matter. I believed I could WILL myself not to be jet lagged. I was wrong. I was so so so so very wrong. The first three days that I was here I felt like I had sawdust in my eyes and was extremely lethargic. I pretty much just wanted to sit on my mothers couch and veg, which of course is not an option. In fact my mother decided to spring the extra fun treat of a dental appointment (she is a dental assistant) in on me yesterday (but that is another story for another day).

My general tiredness has been exponentially increased by the fact that KiKi thinks that 4am is an appropriate time to wake up and play Nintendo DS. Oh yes, imagine my joy. Bask in my joy. Compound this by the fact that when LaLa is extremely tired she has night terrors and talks in her sleep. Last night she slept walked. Thankfully I was still awake and caught her before she reached the stairs. Another positive is that it gave me the opportunity to make her use the bathroom again before I went to bed.

This morning though, I am determined not to let my tired body get in the way of a good time. We are headed down to the battery and white point gardens so my kids can see the harbor and chase pigeons in the park (all be it they are puny pigeons compared to England (cause oh my goodness the pigeons in England are the size of a chicken)). Then we will head to Auntie A's house for some well deserved baked goods and spoiling. I will of course post pictures as soon as possible!



Picture of The Battery (harbor) in Charleston not taken by me, but gives an idea of where we are going...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

RTT- I Thought When I Had More Sleep I Would Actually Be Able to Think

Last night LaLa had a nightmare right as I was getting into bed and took off like a running banshee in the pitch dark. I think she ran smack into the dresser and I found her on the ground in the corner between the dresser and the bed, screaming at the TOP OF HER LUNGS.

Happy Tuesday, People. Go click the pretty purple button to go to Keely's place and play along!

randomtuesday

I forgot how much radio sucks in the States. Thank goodness for Radio 1 online.

I have driven twice since being here and so far have NOT tried to drive on the left hand side of the road. Which in my mind is a huge success because it feels really weird at this point. The first few times when I was riding in the car, mentally I was turning into the left hand side of the road.

I might have brought the cold weather to SC. Sorry, folks, no more shorts for you!

Speaking of cold...my mom keeps this house like an ice box at night. I may need to invest in a big huge fluffy duvet. Her aversion to turning on the heat is baffling.

I see a computer program on my parents shelf called "Instant Immersion 33 Languages"...I wonder if it has British English?

Looking back at my school pictures, the 90s was a horrible decade for my hair.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Travel Tale or Why I said My Child Smelled Like a Homeless Person

We have arrived! My girls and I are in Charleston, SC for the next two weeks. I am so excited to be home. It was an extremely long trip. Our own little version of Planes, Trains and Automobiles. We started out Saturday morning with a taxi to the bus station, then the bus ride to Heathrow Airport in London, then an 8 hour flight to Washington, DC and then an hour flight to Charleston. I must say it was all rather uneventful until the last hour of our first flight.

LaLa fell asleep in her seat next to my brother and directly across the aisle from me. Well, she must have been sleeping pretty hard because she had a potty accident. Yeah, she peed all over herself. I tried to clean her up as best as I could considering I didn't have any clean jeans for her to change into with me (lesson learned). I laid a blanket over the wet seat and she calmed down enough to sit still for the rest of the flight. When we stood up to deplane, she stood up next to me and the smell nearly knocked me down. She was rancid. I looked at my brother and started giggling. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and then I said it..."She smells like a homeless person" Then he lost it. Yes, it might not have been the most sensitive thing to say, but dang it, it was true!

As we deplaned we put our plan of cleaning up into action. We got through customs, grabbed our checked baggage, then I grabbed new pants and underwear to change LaLa. I took her to the first woman's restroom I could find and changed her. We then rechecked our baggage and headed to go find the gate for our next flight.

The next flight was on a commuter plane and was really quick. As we were descending into Charleston, I saw shrimpers putting their boats into the Wando River, the local 16 theater cinema, and other landmarks that I could recognize from the air. I started to get nostalgic for about 2.5 seconds. Then I realized that I was so tired from not sleeping on any of the flights that my eyes were about to burst into flames or fall out of my head. All I wanted was to land, find my parents, find my bags, go home and go to sleep; and that is what I did.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Shopping in the UK

My bud, NFAH has kindly fulfilled my request to be my guest poster today on literally 4 days notice. Short notice? No problem. "Oh and do you want a tour of the town I live in while you are at it?" she asked. To which I replied "Of course you silly cow!" (or something of that sort)... So I am actually off with her getting a tour of her town with my brother while she is posting here. It is amazing how she can be two places at once. The wonders of the internet! So without further ado....Not From Around Here or as I call her NFAH.

I have joked that in the UK, many shops are so specializes that one has to go to a banana store to find a banana. Now that was a tongue-in-cheek thing to say, but in some ways it is true. My local "high street" has a string of specialist shops, and I could go to Ryman for a printer cartridge, Lakeland for a new nonstick frying pan, Boots for lipstick, Oddbins for a bottle of wine, Next for new socks and Sainsbury's for a pint of milk. I exaggerate slightly for effect, but I would definitely say that the biggest difference between shopping in the US and the UK is the sheer number of stores I visit in the average month. In the US, I would often see only a Target and a Byerly's or Rainbow grocery store in most months; the two stores were often in the same vicinity so I could park the car once and do all my shopping in one place. I might occasionally venture out to a mall for clothes, but I did not stop off at so many small shops in the course of an average week.

I'm not meaning to imply that there are no department stores in the UK. A relatively new John Lewis superstore is within walking distance for me, and I have bought a ball gown, a purse, shoes, kitchen sponges, drain un-clogger and a coffee machine there. They even have the same sort of "Michael Graves for Target" stuff. So I'm not complaining. Just noting that on my early arrival, I had to learn to find the larger, American style one-stop-shopping stores that I was used to.

I know people could complain at this stage that I am missing the point and that I should be frequenting the multitude of mini-shops run by Britain's nation of shopkeepers instead of seeking out the "one stop shopping" options. I'm sure I would find it more amusing IF I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB. A job that requires me to actually work all day. When the little stores are open only from 10-5:30 Mon-Sat or thereabouts. It's just not practical. I do indeed finding myself taking a few hours out of the normal work day when there is an errand I need to run and it's not going to be possible in the evening or weekend. And this makes me sigh. Target was open until 10 pm seven days a week, and the grocery stores were open 24 hours in the states.

Lest I seem too despondent, let me fill you in on the shopping secret that makes Britain beautiful. Washable suits. The Next store in my neighborhood now provides all of my work clothes, and were I to move back to the US I would have to take frequent trips back to the UK to buy more clothes. The local dry-cleaning shops are open the same restrictive hours as many of the other shops, so that was never going to work with my Ann Taylor clothes or my Banana Republic suits. And my environmental self hated to dry clean anything and preferred washable clothes but I had no option in the US. Dress for work is generally more formal here, and I have no choice but to dress up in suits most days to fit in. But Next sells (Hillary-Clinton-Style) pantsuits that are fully machine washable and I love them. Especially because they are a big enough chain to stock petites, which means I can buy things and wear them straight away. At five feet tall (I have no idea what that is in meters/metres, sorry!) I need petites. And I love my new English clothes. So it is yet another case of not wrong, just different, (link iota's blog of that name) and things are sometimes better and sometimes worse in one country or the other.
-------------------
Dear Everyone,
I didn't do Dear So and So... this week but if you did feel free to link up!
Kat

Captain Dumbass Makes Me Grilled Cheese

I went to London and all I got was this cheesy guest post from Captain Dumbass. Yummy yummy grilled cheese. Feel free to go over to his place and check out other grilled cheese art.
Gah! Red Kryptonite!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Great Pumpkin Carving Adventure

Since my brother is still busy running me about England (we're in London today), I've asked my buddy Pollyanna from Life Makes Me Laugh to invade The Bungalow and leave her mark...on short notice of course, cause that's how we roll 'round here. She came up in spades and is now on my "most cool" list (it is really exclusive). With out any further ado...

Iíve never been to the UK, let alone been personally invited into Katís place so this is quite an adventure!

Iím sooooo nervous. There is so much pressure in being a guest. Am I saying the right things? Does she care that I used all the hot water composing this in the shower (Iím not knowing for a short story)? Am I entertaining enough?

Anywho, enough with my neurosis, on with the show!
The days have grown colder and the leaves are starting to change. You know what that means? Itís time to go on the annual pilgrimage to the pumpkin patch!

This also means Iím going to have a sticky, gooey, stringy mess in my kitchen. Of which, apparently only I have the ability to clean up. My kids (including Hubby) are sticking with the belief that itís not Halloween unless pumpkins are carved ñ not painted, CARVED.

Carving pumpkins then:
When I was a kid, you got a pumpkin you could barely carry and set it on the porch. A few days before Halloween you would spread a ton of newspapers all over the kitchen table and drag over the trash can. Dad had the butcher knife and jammed it into the top, making a fairly smooth circle with a little notch (so you knew which way the top fit back on). Everyone got their hands dirty pulling the ìgutsî out. My mom was in charge of rinsing off all the seeds and setting them out to dry so we could bake them up later. Somehow, we managed to scrape out all the yick with only a serving spoon before Dad jammed the knife into the face. We got triangle eyes & nose and a crooked smile with one or two teeth. Pop a candle inside & you were done! All of this took about an hour.

Carving pumpkins today:
While picking out the largest pumpkin we can afford, and the guts scooping hasnít changed much, the carving part has become much more sophisticated.

You can no longer use ordinary kitchen tools to empty and carve your pumpkin. There are special scrapers with short handles and beveled edges for efficiency. A half circle gear looking thing with really pointed teeth will help you trace the outline of the face youíre going to carve. Then you have the serrated tools with thin, very breakable blades for carving. How these are better, I donít know.

Now, a simple face is no good. You gotta keep up with the Jonesí, so you have to scour the internet for the best, but yet achievable by your skill level, pumpkin carving template. After finding the ìrightî template and printing it to a size that fits your pumpkin, you have to painstakingly outline the design through the template using your dangerously sharp teeth tool. Finally, youíre ready to use the knife.

I, on the other hand, had a different idea. I had seen pumpkins in a magazine where they stuck golf tees thru the shell. The end result was that they glowed with the word ìBooî. They were so stinkiní cute!

Turns out, scooping out all the gunk from inside the pumpkin is a pain in the rump. Itís kind of like child birth, as soon as the event is over, you forget how terrible the whole ordeal was. And every year, we go through the same thing ñ buy a few pumpkins to carve and end up only doing one because once we got started, the memories came flooding back (and the back ache from hunching over a pumpkin).

Anywho, I got the ìBî pumpkin emptied, and there was no way I was going through that two more times for the ìoî, ìoî.

Now what?

Hmmmm, how about just a bunch of holes? Yah, that would be cute!

Golf tees, where are the golf tees?

We didnít have any.

But I had an ice pick!

It was quite therapeutic. I stabbed that pumpkin!

And I stabbed!

And stabbed!

And stabbed! Ooooo, what fun!

When I was finished, I trotted off to the bathroom with my holey pumpkin and a candle. I lit it up to see my creation in all its glory.

I was quite disappointed. You could only see a glow coming from the back of the pumpkin ñ where the big hole was for the candle. The holes had basically self-healed after sticking the ice pick in.

I blew out the candle, picked up my pumpkin and headed back to the kitchen. Obviously, the holes needed to be larger.

I stuck the ice pick back into the holes already created and swirled it around in an attempt to make the holes larger. Even before going back to the bathroom, I could tell they probably werenít going to be big enough. But in true Pollyanna fashion, I had to go check.

Trotting to the bathroom . . .

OK ñ this time I could at least see a slight glow coming from the holes. But there was no way anyone was going to be able to see it from the bottom of the front porch steps, let alone the street or sidewalk.

I needed bigger holes. What could I use to make bigger holes?

I got it!

I ran down to the basement for my drill. º inch drill bit should do it.

Wzshzshzshzshzsh.

Wzshzshzshzshzsh.

You get the picture. Iíd go on, but there were at least 50 holes and I just donít think ìwzshzshzshzshzshî would be effective that many times. Ultimately, each hole was now a nice size.

Trotting to the bathroom . . .

BEAUTIFUL!

Well, at least it was interesting.

Silver Lining:
  1. Anytime you can say you used power tools to carve a pumpkin is just gosh darn AWESOME!
  • The kids are still small so the pumpkin ritual will continue for years to come. Wonder how Iíll top this. . .

  • Monday, October 12, 2009

    Every Single One of Us The Devil Inside

    My brother has me roaming around England (Norwich) today, so I have left you in the very capable hands of ...For A Different Kind of Girl, my homegirl from Iowa. I am sure she will leave you completely entertained while I am off storming the castle. FADKOG, make sure they wipe their feet and put the cans in the recycle bin when they leave.

    In the spirit of Halloween, my youngest son will be attending junior worship at church Sunday dressed as an adorable little devil.

    Yes, because i would bathe in irony if possible, the beauty of this is not lost on me. If you know me, you know I don't exactly walk very evenly down the path of righteousness. I find it fun to stumble a little here and there. However, my husband is filled with the kind of Christian goodness I didn't think was possible to acquire when I picked up this smashingly cute costume on clearance (natch!) at Target (my idea of heaven, btw) two seasons ago. It suits the boy's nature.

    That's right. When my sweet little boy isn't acting all devilish the rest of the year (the kid can rock some 'devil horns' with his hands when he becomes all possessed, and yes, I'll proudly admit to teaching him how to do it. Sticking out his tongue as far as he can is an ongoing lesson), he gets to put on the official Satan uniform a few times each October. Dapper red suit. Adorably pointy tail. Shiny black horns. The child rocks that look.


    "Yeah, um, can't he be the gorilla again?" my husband asks, assuming the hot, heavy, furry gorilla suit i had for our son since he was a baby will once again illicit 'ooos and ahs' from our church family. "Seriously. Must he be the devil? It's church, for heaven's sake!"

    (For heaven's sake. Get it? That's why I love that man...)

    To see this child and to ponder that question is to think, 'Well....duh!' This charming little boy is sneaky, snarky and straight up evil at times.

    In a cute way, mind you. He is a product of my creation.

    And so, in reply, I offer a "Hell no he can't be an ape! We're totally kicking ass in that devil costume."

    (and yes, I tossed in my own version of the 'devil horns' and tongue when I said it, too).

    My youngest will not be a hobo, clown, super hero or pirate. We're doing this devil thing with gusto. If I'm to burn in hell, as my husband seems to think I'm sometimes going to anyway, it's so going to be for things other than my child's Halloween costume.

    But I bet the polyester goodness of the costume will get those flames burning pretty quick
    .

    (Besides, the gorilla costume? In church? Screams of Darwinism. Devil it is!)

    Friday, October 9, 2009

    Dear So and So...You Lookin at Me?

    Dear Offspring,

    I know your daddy is out of town. Believe me, I am very aware. You do not need to make me more aware of it. In fact refrain from the following in order to make life more tollerable:
    1. Whining
    2. Crying
    3. Whining, crying and saying "I want Daddy!" (Daddy wouldn't give you what you want anyways...ok maybe he would but still)
    4. Hitting
    5. Complaining (Yes, you do have to come with me to the base real quick. I can't just leave you at the house).
    7. Not doing what you are told the first time. (I know you can hear me!)
    8. Tattling.
    9. Snubbing the menu. (That is what we are having for dinner, get over it!)
    10. Destroying the house.

    Get it? Got it? Good.

    Love, Mom
    ------------------------

    Dear Elizabeast,

    Stop tipping the garbage in the kitchen!! Argh! I know you are on a diet because you are a fatty, but really it is for your own good. I can't stand waking up in the morning to rubbish strewn from the kitchen to the living room. It is maddening. So ether quit doing it or grow opposable thumbs and learn to clean it up yourself.

    It's too dang early for this, Kat
    ------------------------

    Dear Mums at Preschool,

    We have this weird dynamic since we all arrive to drop off our kids at different times in the morning. There are a few who talk and then those of you who act like you are on a commando mission. Get in, drop off kid, get out and nobody gets hurt. You might become blog fodder. Apologies in advance.

    *snicker*, Kat
    -----------------------

    Dear Weather,

    Next time we do this warm to cold shift, can we make it a little slower. 75 degree to 50 degree temperature shifts in two days wreaks havoc on my body. Oh but on the plus side, I smelled someone burning in their wood heater. I love the smell of a good ol fire. Heaven.

    Respectfully requesting, Kat
    -------------------------

    Dear Readers,

    I hope you have a lovely weekend. If you are going to participate, link up and let everyone read you letters. It is a great way to start your weekend.

    Love, Kat
    -------------------