Thursday, August 18, 2011

Transitioning

When a military spouse comes back from a deployment or TDY (temporary duty) there is always a bit of time that it takes for the family to transition back to normal. Mind you "normal" could not be the "normal" that you had before the absence at all. You have to find a new normal each and every time the spouse comes home. It can almost be like the end of the "honeymoon" period of a marriage. There will be irritations, little fights about small things, bickering, and sometimes hurt feelings, but there is always the under current of love and adoration because you have missed your partner for so long.

For me this is always a bit of a rough period because I am used to calling the shots when The Man is away. I like the independence I have when he is away. I like having the remote control at all times. I like being able to go here and there with no regard to his opinion. Not that he cares where I go, I just like to be able to go without informing him where I am going. I like not having to leave a note so he doesn't worry. I like to take my own sweet time when it comes to cleaning the house. I don't let it get to absolutely disgusting levels of uncleanliness, but it definitely gets to the level of "lived in" before I feel the urge to clean. The hubby likes to come home to a tidy house, so there is that when he is home. I am used to doing all the disciplining, comforting, and parenting when he is not around and sometimes I feel like my toes are being stepped on when he steps in. It doesn't matter how much I moan about how I feel like I am a single parent and I just want a bit of help when he is gone; this always happens. We have vastly different parenting styles.

This transition has been especially odd though, I haven't felt like my toes are being stepped on at all. We seem to be doing a lot of giving and taking when it comes to this whole parenting thing. We only have one car right now, so he's gonna know where I am going anyway. OK, well the cleaning thing is still a bit of a sticking point, but I just get on with it and he helps out as much as he can (He washed the walls yesterday, for real). I just can't help but sit here and wonder what is so different about this transition in comparison to the others. Is it because the children are older? It is because we are older? Is it because we have done this so many times now? Is it because of the hurried nature of our reunion? Is it because of the impending surgery? Is is because we were ONLY separated for two months? I can't put my finger on it. I just know that I am glad he is home.