Friday, March 20, 2009

Are you Crazy?

About a week ago, The Man, told me that he was going to have today off work. I had visions of sleeping in late and a lazy late breakfast dancing in my head. Not to be. He burst my thought bubble with one word. Paintball. Yes, he got up early this morning donning his finest old BDUs (cammo for those who don't speak military) and went to go get shot at by a bunch of other guys in his shop. He offered that I could come too. My response? "So you want me to run around and get shot at? I think not."

Personally, paintball sounds like a "sport" (and I used that term very loosely) that you would only invite your worst enemy to. I mean, you run around and shoot each other with paintballs. Oh it sounds fun enough. However, you have to remember paintballs are actually quite hard. It is like shooting each other with bouncy balls (hahaha I said bouncy balls) at over 100mph. Sure at a slow speed they probably wouldn't hurt, but add a bit of velocity on that sucker and bruises are going to happen. Not only that but there is the risk of injury from the obsticles on the course. Keep in mind that I am a complete klutz. I can just see myself tripping and injuring myself in a nonpaintball induced way. I am sure that a broken bone or stitches would be the result.

So I am sitting here waiting on my husband to return, hopefully all in one piece. I know he is gonna be a mess of bruises and complaining almost as bad as when he has a "man cold". But then, he is gonna tell me how awesome it was and that he wishes he could do it every weekend. Then, I am gonna call him a dumbass and go get him some Advil so he will shut his pie hole. Cause I am a loving and caring wife like that.

23 comments:

Yaya said...

Haha! Yeah, I don't get paintball. Doesn't sound fun to me.

LOL "Man cold"!

dragonesque said...

I think paint ball sounds like loads of fun, but perhaps I am crazy, too!

Single Parent Dad said...

It is one thing I too have never seen the attraction of. Lazer Quest/Tag, is a good laugh, but only for 20 minutes or so.

Badass Geek said...

I once knew a guy who took a paintball square on his kneecap.

Sure, it sounds painful enough, but did I mention that the paintballs had been left outside overnight, and were frozen?

The paintball shattered the poor guys kneecap like a china plate.

That alone will keep me from ever taking part.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Funny how men can get all excited about shooting paint at people yet moan and complain about painting a room. The irony! She burns!

mo.stoneskin said...

The last time I went paintballing was at a stag do.

It all ended with us (20 or so) against the stag and his brother. They donned white t-shirts with a target on the front.

The had to run across the site on their own, while the 20 of us used up the rest of our paintballs.

They were covered with bruises and it was the funniest thing in the world as they staggered across the line and fell to the floor...

...hope that helps!

Mama Dawg said...

He's so lucky to have you!

Joanie said...

A gang from work did that this past weekend. One girl has so many bruises, it's unbelievable!(guess she shouldn't flirt with these guys too much) She said they're going back in a couple of weeks... and she can't wait! I don't get it.

Bee and Rose said...

My son keeps pressuring me to let him to the whole paintball gig. I would do it if it didn't hurt! lol!

Kurt said...

"man colds" are much more fierce than "girl colds". You can tell by how much more we complain.

Chris said...

I've always wanted to go paint balling, but like you, I'm a klutz. I always picture myself turning around to run and slamming in a tree. Or falling into a hole and breaking my leg.

Bobby G said...

You wear a TONS of shit, you wear protective gear, that looks like armor, and loose closing to absorb some of the energy exerted by the paint ball! But itll leave an angry bruise/welt if it hits bare skin

Captain Dumbass said...

What would your dumbass's official designation be? Professional interest.

Miss Grace said...

Paintball is something whose appeal I have no ability to understand.

But then, I don't like guns, I don't really like getting dirty, and I don't like being shot at.

Kingsmom said...

Gotta love the "man cold".

ChurchPunkMom said...

Nothing says 'love' like a few advil after a game of paintball..

I don't get it either.

Jess said...

I do not participate in the paintball activities you speak of...mainly because I like the way my body looks now and I have enough bruises from running into desk corners around this joint.

Auntie A said...

Klutz well that's an understatement! Are you not the girl who fell off a basketball and broke your upperarm, or fell off a chair and broke your collarbone...need I go on??
xoxox

for a different kind of girl said...

I've always thought maybe I'd like to play paintball. Then I think about how klutzy I am and am pretty sure I'd end up with a twisted ankle, or I'd not move fast enough and just get massacred immediately. Yeah, fun! Hope you bought that extra strength Advil!

Cameron said...

Sorry, Kat, but that sounds awesome. I can't believe you passed it up. Just look at it this way, if you DON'T GET SHOT, it won't hurt.

Abby Quijano said...

ive never gone paintballing but it sounds quite scary !

but ill make sure to invite someone i dont like if i do go . im kidding but i thought it was funny when you mentioned it :}

MikeH said...

Ah, paintball. I did it a few times. It was great, because it proved, once and for all, that me and the military were best left to ourselves. I was gunned down each time, even when I tried to run away and hide (the French Manoeuvre?). The last time (emphasis on last) I was shot in the face.

I hope your hubby comes back all in one piece.

Lola said...

I did it once, and it hurt!