Defining Backtalk

After months of unacceptable behavior from LaLa, culminating with her acting like a heathen at the Yultide Bazaar on Saturday, I had a massive blow up. Then I had a moment of clarity. I remembered I had this unused star chart sitting on the side of the refrigerator. When I say completely unused I mean completely unused, well except for when LaLa went and put one of her stars up next to a chore, exclaimed loudly she did it and then expected me to bend over backwards to give her allowance (nice try, kiddo, by the way).

So, I sat down Saturday night after I had already confiscated her Wii (to her sheer horror) and redefined each chore with her and added "good attitude" and "no backtalk" to the list to try to tackle her behavior problems. It worked like a charm Sunday. She did all her chores- cleaning her room, removing her toys from the living room, bringing her clothes to the dirty clothes bin, brushed her teeth, made her bed and even did well with not back talking and having a good attitude. I was seriously impressed by her effort.

Then tonight at dinner the conversation ensued.

LaLa- "Mom what exactly is back talk?"
Me- "Well, it is when I ask you to do something and you tell me "no" or "I don't wanna" or are disrespectful back to me"
La- "So if I tell you no that I am not going to do something I don't get my star?"
Me- "Right."
La- "But, if I say yes and do it I get my star?"
Me- "Yep"
La- "But if I say Ok and then later say no and don't do it, then I don't get one, right?"
Me- "Yeah"
La- "But if I say no and then do it I get it?"
Me- "ummm"
La- "cause I did it"
Me- "I guess"
La- "ok..."

I can see it now, she is finding loopholes. It is kind of like Bill Clinton defining the word sex.