Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Target Numero Uno

The village I live in is fairly small.  It would only take about 45 minutes to walk around the whole place.  In order to get to my best friends house, it takes 22 minutes on foot and it is all the way on the other side of the village.  It is inhabited by a mixture of both English and Americans due to the American base being literally right across the street.  No really the name of the street is "The Street".  The closest town is also fairly small, but is larger than this village by leaps and bounds.  Now to my point.  The next town over apparently has a large population of Jehovah's Witnesses.  

If you know anything about the Jehovah's Witnesses you know that they like to preach door to door.  They are very smooth with their tactics and like to engage people in conversation about religion using their religion to steer the conversation in a way that is supposed to get a person to think a-ha well this is the way I should believe too.  Because the size of my village is so small it is very easy for the door to door preachers to navigate and boy do they ever.

I was first visited by them on Friday.  Now if anyone knows me, I will not hesitate to discuss my faith with anyone.  However, by doing so with these guys, it seems as if I have invited them to stop by anytime.  They stopped by again on Sunday afternoon.  Once again, I am not opposed to sharing my views.  This is my problem though, I am confused as to why they think that I would in anyway ascribe to their way of thinking.  First of all, my husband is in the military.  Jehovah's Witnesses are against military service.  Second, I like birthday parties, Christmas, and national holidays.  They don't celebrate any of these.  Third.  I made it clear that I was already actively engaged in another faith and would not be swayed into another.  Was the fact that I know my Bible (all be it not as well as some) an oddity to them?  Do they actually think that I can be converted?  I don't know.  What I do know is they seem like nice enough people, but I would like them to stop coming by so often.  I can stand once every few months, but twice a week?  That is a little overboard.  Well maybe if they keep coming by I can make them into Baptists unknowingly.  Now that would be funny; the preacher becoming the converted.

33 comments:

Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Oh no! They're probably so used to having the door slammed in their face that when you actually gave them the time of day they logged your name and address on their central database as a 'friendly' and are selling it to all their mates.

Badass Geek said...

Oh, the possibilities.

I kind of wish I lived in an area where religious salesmen stop by periodically. Out here in the country, strangers on your doorstep are met with shotguns.

kate said...

I like to play a game where I basically tell them I am the antichrist.

I tell them I have had 3 abortions in the past 6 months, smoke crack on a daily basis, have engaged in orgies, like to steal things and covet my neighbours ox etc etc etc. Anything to remove the "we are gods messengers saintly smile" from their faces and get them to move on. As you know... I'm an athiest. However I do not feel the need to go ad shove it in peoples faces by walking up to their homes and asking them if they want to forsake their God. I hate door to door religion!!!

Bobby G said...

IM an Athiest, I tell them this, and they leave, QUICK! "The Devil's in that boy"

Single Parent Dad said...

I have exactly the same issue here, small village easy for a witness walk-a-round.

The last time they came they asked if they could leave a pamphlet with me. I asked if it had any staples in, they looked puzzled. I then clarified that I am always looking for kindling for my wood burner. They haven't been back since.

P.S. 22 Minutes? Please, please tell me you stop watched that?

Sammanthia said...

Is it so very wrong of me to hide whenever a Jehovah's Witness comes knocking on my door? Not that I would ever do something like that. Ahem.

Michele said...

Last time the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door I opened it with a naked 2 year old and a baby at my breast. 22 years later and they haven't been back since.

mo.stoneskin said...

My best mate's mum used to invite JWs in and try to convert them. Eventually after many long discussions they stopped knocking on her door, exhausted no doubt!

ChurchPunkMom said...

Ha!

I love Jehovah's Witnesses.. they are awesome.

I've been reeled into their conversation trap before too.. and had them coming by once or twice a week and then trying to 'set up appointments'. Ugh.

We did eventually get rid of them.

I'd rather have Mormons come to my door - much more considerate and less aggressive.

Anonymous said...

I was too young at the time to remember this, but the story of my grandmother and the Jehovah's Witnesses is family legend.

I grew up in rural Alabama, and my grandmother was a southern lady that was tempered by the hard times of raising kids in the Depression.

When I was about two, some JW's knocked on the door as my grandmother babysat me, along with my youngest aunt. She invited them in, gave them something to drink, and began a philosophical conversation, apparently turning each of their arguments against them. After a couple of hours, one, apparently trying to make a point, asked, "And what would you do if I picked up your grandson there and spanked him?"

Sayeth my grandmother, "I'd blow your fool head clean off." This was punctuated by her pulling her .357 from the pocket of her apron.

Hastily exit stage left the Jehovah's Witnesses.

tracy said...

I get visits too.. even though technically we are not supposed to here. That actually kind of bugs me... why is it okay to knock on doors with a big sign at the entrance that says no knocking on doors?

tracy

Reinvent Dad said...

Back in my old neighborhood as a youth, I believe we had an old warning siren. We'd turned off all the lights, closed the curtains and did the "duck and cover" when the JW's hit our street. Now I live on a gated street which deters them along with the nice Mormon boys who have to do a Uey on their little bicycles.

Cameron said...

Oddly, there is a Jehovah's Witness church just up the road from me, yet they never stop by. Perhaps they can sense my vibes?

for a different kind of girl said...

When I see the nice young men in their suits and backpacks walking around the town, I race home and shut the place down tighter than a crypt and beg my kids to be quiet...because I'm sure God loves it when I'm making up lies for all their questions about why they need to be quiet! Heh...

Living in a split level is close to dooming me. There's no way to safely check to see if they've left. They ALWAYS stay long enough to see my head peeking around the corner. Then I have to play deaf.

Yeah. They really probably should pray for me....

Myshka said...

Dude. They're everywhere! Try and freak them out and when they come to the door show up and say "hello, I'm selling Girl Scout Cookies for my school- would you like to buy some?" See how confused they'll get. And by the way- where exactly is your village? It sounds like heaven- we want to move out in about a year, maybe to Essex..

Dedene said...

The Jehovah Witness cult is considered a sect in France. So we don't see them out and about much. Tell them you're a devil worshipper and they'll run for the hills.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Usually the mezuzzah on my door tells them a Jew lives there and they don't bother with me. Funny, all the JW's I know are not like that at all. They're nice people who never push their faith on me.

Jenni said...

they knock on my door on the reg. i loathe them. when i see them coming, i let my dog out in the front yard to scare them off.

Captain Dumbass said...

Those poor JW's, they are persistant, aren't they. My sister-in-laws always liked it when the Mormons came around because they always sent the eye candy boys.

Jen said...

now that would be funny. you keep trying and I am sure that they will keep trying and we will see who wins.

Lisa Brandos said...

My parents got rid of them by putting one of those Jesus Fish under their doorbell. The one with the Hebrew lettering.

When I was in HS I had a friend whose family managed to get rid of the JWs in the most amusing way. They'd been coming by for a while and they'd politely asked them not to come back and they didn't listen. So one morning, when they came knocking at the door, my friend's mom started "yelling" at her kids and cursing at them then telling them to go get their santeria stuff because it was time for their satanist church meeting. Then mom answered the door and the JWs were leaving the yard, hastily, and never returned.

Now it's not as funny as "Anonymous" or exactly the right way to do things as a Christ-following woman; however, it was mightily effective. You gotta do what you gotta do to get these folks off your doorstep. Good Luck!

Eastern Reflections said...

I find it amusing that some people think their "original" ways of chasing off JW's or Mormoms actually fool so called "gullible" ones....do you think they aren't privy to the many tactics people use to chase them away who simply don't have the balls to say "Nice to meet you, but I don't have time to chat, and I am not religious at all, so don't bother coming by here anymore".......????????

Anonymous said...

Why not just tell them not to return? Seems simple enough to me.

Kat said...

Annoymous #2- I don't mind talking to them once in a while, just not twice a week or did you not read that? I don't mind hearing different views, it doesn't bother me.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Answer the door in a sexy Santa outfit next time the come to call. That'll teach 'em!

kate said...

Thing is... You say you aren't interested and they don't go away. Certainly not round where i live. You could answer the door whilst performing muslim prayers and they still wouldn't bog off. I have asked them to go before and had them open my letterbox and still have a crack. Might get myself a gun if it works so well. Lol

kate said...

Or open the door in full pvc gimp outfit complete with handcuffs and ball gag! Now that i would find funny.

Jessica said...

Hmmm... that is interesting. I think that if you get tired of having them visit, simply answer the door 1) in something really skimpy 2) cocktail in hand and 3) cigarette hanging out of your mouth. Now that would be funny to see:)

Heather said...

Funny! And yes, if you talk to them at all it just encourages them to keep coming back.

splodge said...

NEVER engage in conversation with them. They'll never leave you alone.

I learned the hard way.

Lola said...

Ahh, you know I've been there with my little JW buddy trying to save me for months on end. Telling them you believe in a different religion just fuels their fire. Sadly, they end up forcing you to be rude after a while.

Mama Dawg said...

I refuse to discuss religion with anyone. Especially someone devout.

Anonymous said...

The problem with the JWs, is that you can' even get rid of them with dynamite.