3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown: Buying Forgiveness

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Buying Forgiveness

I snapped. I snapped and I felt awful. Temper lost. Screaming and yelling. I kicked the chest of drawers.

Why can't they just keep their rooms clean??

The drawer front fell off the chest of drawers. It is a cheap piece of junk but, I knew I had acted like an idiot. I knew. I went outside and collected myself. I came back in and apologized. I approached it from another direction and the rooms got cleaned.

This evening I went out to buy wood glue to fix the chest of drawers. I also bought two Barbies. They are happy. My conscience still isn't.

Having my husband gone isn't easy. I miss him. It is hard to keep everything going like clockwork around the house and sometimes I am just exhausted. That however is no excuse to lose my temper and act like a crazy woman. One day, I won't be able to buy their forgiveness.

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sam · 787 weeks ago

We all have those moments (or in my case, days). Not the first, won't be the last. Don't be so hard on yourself.

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Hope G · 787 weeks ago

Don't beat yourself up, dear. You are doing a fine job holding it all together.

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NFAH · 787 weeks ago

Yes, self-flagellation will never help. Move forward and try to learn from the past. Things will go terribly awry again, but at least perhaps not in exactly the same way! Hugs.

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Heather · 787 weeks ago

We all have moments, days even, like that! It's hard when you are doing it all alone. don't beat yourself up too much about it.

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andrea · 787 weeks ago

when i lose my biscuits on the kids i always feel like such a failure and a sucky mother...

we've all been there, but it's the brave ones who will admit to these moments of being a normal human:)

once, i beat the shit out of a t.v. tray during the height of my divorce.

sometimes good people can freak out too.

but, like you, i always make a point to admit to my children that "holy cow, did i ever lose my temper" and i also apologize. it is that apology and real-ness that our children will remember and become able to forgive and learn from when they grow up. i think admitting to your kids that you aren't perfect is a wonderful quality to pass onto them.

it must be hard doing it alone all the time knowing that your partner is in a stressful situation also. hang in there...we're all thinking of you and supporting you!

<3 andrea

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The Good Cook · 787 weeks ago

You are human and it's okay to show your kids that. Hang in there, it can't be easy doing it all alone and I'm sure your girls know that too!

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MissKris · 787 weeks ago

Don't feel badly. This is my second time around, 'raising' kids. I went thru it all 30-odd years ago with my two, now I'm doing the same providing daily daycare for my two toddler grandsons. I have days like that too and I snap and then I feel ooh sooooooo badly. But the little guys are forgiving. I apologize and get hugs and kisses...give them, too. Kat, as you read this I know my email is provided to you...at least I see it below. Could you email me?? I have a question I'd like to ask you about Dear So-and-So and how you set it up. Thanks a bunch!

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Expat Mum · 787 weeks ago

Oh don't worry. You're human. And hopefully they'll keep their rooms clean from now on. They need to know that you're not Superwoman and need help.

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Jenni · 787 weeks ago

It's fine. You are fine. He'll be home before you know it.

xo

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Miss. Candy · 787 weeks ago

Being a single mom and doing it all is hard, I did it for years! Just remember, you are only human and are going to have emotion at times! Just think, once he is home you can have a little me time and of course HIM time!!!

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vodka logic · 787 weeks ago

You can't expect to keep it together all the time. Doing it alone even if not forever can't be easy.

I was raised in the military and my mother was left alone a lot..she did it and we turned out great. Keep posting we are here for you xx

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Lorraine · 787 weeks ago

I feel where you are coming from, my hubby is away 3 weeks out of four and it can be hard, not only the doing everything on youe own but the missing them. Hang on in there, I am sure you and the girls will be just fine.

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joan · 787 weeks ago

I think we ALL have had our crazy days, and yours are absolutely understandable with everything you are dealing with. I think it's so incredibly awesome that you went back in and APOLOGIZED to your children, showing them that Mommies, too, lose their temper, but know the right way to behave afterward.

I, for one, think you're doing a fantastic job!! Cheers to YOU!!

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Kelsey · 787 weeks ago

You are a champ for having your husband gone for so long. I would have lost it before he even left. Really enjoy your blog and your candidness. :)

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amy the bitchin wife · 787 weeks ago

I've had plenty of moments like this and not nearly as good an excuse as you have to explain them.
I always tell my kids that I'm sorry I had a tantrum and that I'm going to have a time out or that I won't get any dessert for it.

And, ftr, If adults acted the way that kids do, there would be a lot more violence in the world b.c we would all go ape sh*t because nobody would ever do as we asked them to.

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moonspun · 787 weeks ago

You are human and that's fine. While it is not great, talking to them about the fact that mommy has tantrums to makes you seem normal. They understand deep down and you've not permanently scarred them. Really.

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Melissa · 787 weeks ago

Moonspun is right. Mommy tantrums are okay. Trust, If they lived in a surreal world where mommy never showed emotion, they'd be much much worse off.

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livingdeadnurse · 787 weeks ago

sorry ur having a rough time...but i believe every mother has had one of those melt downs...don't be to hard on urself

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Vanessa · 787 weeks ago

Just like everyone else has said, it's okay. We all do it. All of us. Anyone who says they don't is lying!

I'm a single Mom, and while I know you're not "officially" a single Mom, you are one right now, and I think sometimes that makes it harder. There's no one else to help you buffer out that frustration!

You'll get through this. You will.

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muummmeeeee! · 787 weeks ago

Yeah you will...it just gets more expensive x

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WeaselMomma · 787 weeks ago

I can't imagine the stress you are under right now. We all snap from time to time. You, however, recognized your mistake, apologized and changed your approach. I think you did pretty good.

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SueAnn · 787 weeks ago

I don't look at it as you buying their forgiveness. We all lose our tempers sometimes! Don't beat yourself up about it. You are a great mom and it won't be long until they will have children of their own and be telling you this same tale. Just think of all the experience you will have??!!
Hugs
SueAnn

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Young Mummy · 787 weeks ago

I had a moment like this recently, collected my thoughts, went down to the kitchen, carefully selected some chipped plates, and hurled them against the wall. The babies were upstairs at the time thank goodness, as there was flying china everywhere. It made me feel a bit better though. x

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middle-aged-woman · 787 weeks ago

Mommies lose their shit sometimes. Don't you wish you could tell them that? Everybody does it sometimes. Next time, just tell them Mommy needs a hug.

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Jen · 787 weeks ago

Aw, sweetie. Hang in there. I can't imagine doing what you are doing. You are only human and we all lose it once and a while. God knows, I have.

Hugs.

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