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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Can't Someone Else Decide?

This is Susie from New Day New Lesson. Like Kat I also have a husband who is gone a lot, but I am lucky that mine goes on shorter trips. For the most part he travels every other week but he is home for the weekend.


I'm originally from New York but now live in Israel. I am the mother of 5 kids ages almost 4 to almost 20. The oldest is in the army. We have mandatory draft here.


I started blogging about 3 months ago and I blog about a new lesson we learn from life every day. I also host the Kindness Club with a new kindness prompt every week. Would be so happy for you guys to take part.


Enjoy your break Kat. Hope your readers enjoy my musings.

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Decide

I have finally realized what it is that drives me the craziest about being a mother and a wife. (And don't get me wrong, I love both those jobs.)

What I have realized is that what I don't like are the constant decisions that I need to make. Any which way I turn there is a decision needing to be made. From my shopping list, to meal menus, to what needs cleaning, what needs washing and what needs doing first. And that's just a small part of the decisions.


My kids and husband are amazing and they help out a lot, and if not for them my house at this point would have been condemned. But for the most part I need to tell them what to do. I need to be the one to delegate.


I have decided that I do not like that part of the job description.


I have also noticed that the more resistance I have had to decision making the lower my house cleaning and organizational standards have slipped. My messy house and I are still gliding by on the once OCD reputation I built myself (years and years ago) for being a crazy neat freak.


Luckily for me, because I was once so OCD and nuts, no one believes that I am now a pig. My poor hubby keeps trying to tell everyone he is the neat one now but to no avail. No one believes him. (Probably because every once in a blue moon my OCD sneaks up and goes into a whirlwind, conveniently right before people visit.)


I keep thinking how nice it would be just to be given a list of chores and things that need doing and not to have to think and organize, just do.


Is it just me who has this issue or does anyone else want a wife too?


Image:

DECIDE

© Matt Wilson | Flickr Creative Commons

Comments (11)

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Oh a wife would be great! I have the next best thing...a cleaning group that comes in once a month!! But I still have other decisions to make for sure. Drives me batty sometimes!!
Thank you Susie
Hugs
SueAnn
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
My kids and husband are great and do help. I have had cleaners for short periods on and off over the years. It has it's good and bad points.

And am right there with you on the batty!
I really need a wife. One of the most annoying things I find is deciding what to cook! Even on weekends I feel the need to be planning meals for the family. Does no one else in my house know how to use the stove without burning the place down?
1 reply · active 777 weeks ago
IN your house? Probably not.

My second to oldest who really likes to eat has here and there given up and started making barbeques or dinner for everyone. Of course-only if I have the food in the house-which still requires me to have made the shopping list.....

Am not moaning, just pinpointing my issues-but don't see change in sight. Next reincarnation need to be male????
I'm with you I hate deciding....probably mostly whats for dinner!
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
What's for dinner? When to shop? what kids need what clothing?......List does not end.
So glad to know I'm not the only one who wants a break from making decisions. Now, how do I get the husband to understand this? Thank for the great post, Susie.
1 reply · active 777 weeks ago
Let him read this post??? LOL

Took me a long time to really pinpoint what was at the core of my discontent? uneasiness??

It's also the minute you are not in controil and let things slide a bit, the work load then magically doubles.
It is a comfort to know that other wives/mothers are in the same boat. My husband thinks I am a control freak, but what he doesn't appreciate is that, if I weren't, we would be living in a pigsty eating take-aways every night and our daughter wouldn't make it to school most days. I have experimented with leaving him to the decision making for short periods, but after a few days he gets annoyed and happily places me back in the driver's seat. It is a tough job, but somebody (sigh) has got to do it.
LIke I said in another of the replies, it really does require a control freak, because if you let go a bit, the workload is then harder to get things running smoothly.

I was just so itred from being on top of my game and in control. That's why I felt I needed a break, but that is a vicious cycle cause just causes more work adn more frustration...

Even though my family is great and supportive. So can only imagine if they weren't.
I'd like to know why I have to decide where everything goes. Too often I ask my family to clean up the the family room or kitchen and it only gets half done because they "don't know where it goes" - whatever!

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