Friday, May 14, 2010

Dear So and So...Missy's Turn

Dear So and So...

Wheeeeeeee! Look at me doing the guest Dear So and So post today! I am thrilled and honored that the great Kat at 3 bedroom bungalow is allowing me to be the Wo-Man today!



My name is Missy and I live over at Loving My Children's Gifts. I have 2 daughters, 8 and 2, who are my little sunshines – most of the time. My Husband and I just celebrated out 12th anniversary and I love him like mad. But I barely talk about him - it's much more fun to talk about kids. I've loved Kat's wit for months now. I hope I can entertain you today 1/2 as much as Kat's been entertaining me.


So here goes:


Dear Kat's 1027 readers:


Let me woo you. Become a follower! I won't stalk you, but I will follow you back! Well, I might stalk you. I've been stalking Kat for a little while, right?


Signed,

Kisses, hugs and follows back to anyone who follows me. Plus undying gratitude and love, of course.


Dear “Friends” without Phone Etiquette:


One thing that the internet, email and blogging has brought me is peace and quiet. If your email comes in at a bad time, I can answer it at midnight with no bad manners. If I email you at a bad time, no matter, you just ignore that mo-fo until it's convenient for you to answer me. If I get loads of comments on a post, but am barely keeping my head above water, I don't have to reply to your comments right away. I can do it when I have more time. That's blissful. I'm also much more witty when I have time to think about it for a little while.


One thing having young children has taught me – if there’s an emergency to be had, you can bet it’s going to happen the moment I take a phone call. And I don't have hours to spend on the phone with people with no phone etiquette. So let's have a review:


  1. When you call me, ask if it's a good time to talk. If a child is screaming in the background, it is not a good time to talk.

  2. Launching into a serious 20+ minute phone call without preamble does not get me at my best. If a child is screaming in the background, magnify this by 1000.

  3. If something requires thought, don't ask for an answer right that minute. Give me a day or so to ruminate.

  4. If I tell you I need to get off in 15 minutes, then I tell you at the 15 minute mark I need to get off, please respect that. I'm not saying it because I'm a control freak (though I kind of am).

  5. If I tell you Youngest has woken up from her nap and is crying to come out, that's a clear sign it's time to get off the phone.

  6. If we're not finished, set up a time for another call. Or go start seeing a therapist. I hear they’re much better at sticking to those time boundaries.

  7. Continuing to talk during these tips makes me not want to talk to you.


Signed,

Does anyone else feel like they need to use their mothering skills on adults?


Dear May:


It's pretty sad that having my kids at home for the entire simmer (in THREE WEEKS for the LOVE OF GOD) seems less hectic than this month.


Signed,


A brilliant friend of mine once said maybe all of the end of year celebrations could be spread over the winter. You know, when we NEED the diversion, not in May when we want to be outdoors enjoying life


Dear Children's Services:


Could you tell me at what point "summer chores" becomes "child labor?"


Signed,


Summer will be so much more fun if we all take responsibility round here


Dear Hips and Butt:


I don't understand why you keep getting bigger? When I take the children to the donut bakery, I only have one. When I take the children to McDonald's, I only get a hot fudge sundae to their McFlurry. Just because PF Chang's national website says their fried rice is 1200 calories doesn't mean the one I order has that much, right? I'm sure they reduce the calories for me. A whole bag of chips and guacamole from Chipotle can't be bad for me if I only have it twice a week. I just don't get it.


Signed,


Do these pants make my butt look big?


Dear Kat:


Thanks, sister! I hope you are having the best reunion ever with your wonderful husband. I am so happy for you.


Signed,

Your adoring fan, Missy



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Dear Readers,

Don't forget to link up! Love you all and hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Love from that Woman Who Blogs Here,

Kat