Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dear So and So...Half Asleep Edition

Dear A-hole Driving The Yellow Penis Extension ...I Mean Corvette,

Just because you have a flashy car and are having a midlife crisis does not mean you get to drive like an idiot. You caused me to use words that I have never used in front of my kids before. In fact, I may have made up words to describe the awfulness of your driving skills. It is not a smart move to accelerate rapidly and then break really quickly when you have a line of traffic behind you. It is especially not smart when you are in a tiny car that can be squished like a bug.

Thanks For Making Me Use Colorful Language With Reckless Abandon,
The Lady In the Big Orange Jeep
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Dear Children of Mine,

This whole when I tell you one thing, it goes in one ear and out the other behavior has got to stop. Mommy is about to lose her temper. Just clean your room, stop whining, don't hit each other, quit jumping around like heathens, and just listen. Please listen.

Love, Your Mom Who is At Then End of Her Tether
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Dear Fruit Flies,

I am done done done done done done done. Seriously. Done. Got it?

Grrr, The Crazy Lady Who is Gonna Kill You with Apple Cider Vinegar
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Dear My Two Heathen Children,

I am sorry you forgot your show and tell at home. No I will not turn around to get it. Perhaps this will teach you a lesson in responsibility.

Love, Your Tough Love Momma
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Dear Lady,

Over the knee boots at school drop off? Really? I thought that more an evening wear look.

Flabbergasted, Kat
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Dear Readers,

If you have your own notes, please feel free to link them up. Have a great weekend.

Love, Kat
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