Friday, May 27, 2011

Dear So and So...Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

You certainly are a moody cow this month! Volcanoes, tornadoes, and gale force winds have dominated the headlines this past week. Not to mention you broke my trampoline with the winds! Now how am I going to coax my kids outside? I think you owe me a bit of money Ms. Nature.

Peeved, Kat
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Dear Broken Trampoline,

I am going to attempt to dismantle you today, well if Ms. Nature doesn't pour buckets of rain down on me. Do me a favor and be a doll. Don't squish my fingers, fall on me, or try to maim me in any way. I have Cybermummy to attend in a month and I don't want to be disfigured. Plus, my husband is gone and I won't have anyone to drive me to the hospital if anything goes horribly wrong. Not that it will, cause you're gonna be nice to me, right?

Love, The Crazy Lady Who Attempts Crap Like This On Her Own
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Dear Police Officer,

I only saw you break 4 rules of the road when I was behind you. You sped through a 30mph zone, you failed to use your blinkers (indicators) twice, and then you sped again in 40mph zone. Do you really think you should be the one handing out the tickets?

Concerned, Kat
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Dear Burger King,

HA! I resisted the allure of your scrummy smelling breakfast items this morning when I went to the shops. Take that!

Love, The Woman Who is Munching On Fruit Imagining That It is a Sausage Croissan'wich.
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Dear DVLA,

Jeez o peet! You guys are trying to bleed me dry! No wonder a lot of people choose not to drive in this country.

*Grumbling*, The Woman Who Is Off to Pay Her Road Tax This Morning
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Dear Readers,

If you have a letter, don't forget to link up!!

Love, Kat
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