Yesterday evening after "The Man" left for work I was doing a little cleaning up around the house. The girls were upstairs playing in LaLa's room and I had my iTouch on and was jamming out. I kept smelling the faint smell of rotten eggs and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It was really starting to irk me when I remembered that "The Man" had asked me to finish up the laundry I had started the day before so that we could have the laundry room completely empty of dirty laundry and thus easier to organize this weekend (there is a lot of stuff in there other than laundry). As I went into the laundry room the faint smell of rotten eggs got a lot more pronounced. Then I made a fatal error. I opened the washer. Apparently my washer shit the bed the night before (Air Force Technical Jargon for broke). The clothes that I thought I would just rewash real quick...well the water didn't drain out of the machine and they were just sitting there stewing in a juice of stink.
I fiddle with the knobs. Nothing. I kick it. Nothing. I swear at it. Nothing. I call my mom. "Hey you used to have a washer like mine, how do you get it to drain if it isn't working?" Yeah, she has no answers either. She did tell me to throw some detergent into the clothes and put it back on the agitate cycle to see if it would then kick over to the other cycles. All that did was make my laundry smell like flower covered rotten eggs, which just may be worse than plain old rotten eggs. Then I walk across the street to ask my neighbor if I can borrow her washer if I can't get mine to work. Of course she says it is fine. I go back home and try again. I take half the clothes out of the washer and throw them into the laundry room sink. Mind you I am cussing this whole time. I think I might have put half the military men on this base to shame with the level of profanity coming from my mouth (kids are still upstairs so they didn't hear any of it). I jiggle some knobs, try different cycles, and then slam the washer shut and try the spin cycle one more time. It works! The washer comes back to life drains and spins. Of course now I have half a load of stinky clothes in the sink, half in the washer, still stinky but spinning. When it finished spinning I added more detergent and fabric softener to get ride of the smell and rewashed them. They quit after the agitate cycle again! Fiddle, fiddle, slam, fiddle, the washer resumes washing. I do this for the next 3 half loads of laundry because if I make a full load it doesn't seem to want to work well (or at least that is they theory I was working with). The smell is still everywhere in my house. I light all the candles in my house. OK, seriously if you knew how many candles I have out in my house it would stagger the mind. I used to be a candle consultant for a in home candle party business. I have loads of candles. They were all lit. The smell seemed to go away.
"The Man" got home from work around 8 pm because they didn't have a lot of work last night and they didn't see a reason for everyone to stick around. The first thing he said when he walked in the door was "WHAT IS THAT SMELL?"
Me-"The Candles or the rotten egg fart smell?"
Him- "Both! What the hell is going on?"
Me- "Washing machine apparently shit the bed last night before the spin cycle. The clothes went sour. The candles were to cover the smell."
Him- "Holy crap it stinks!"
Me- "You should have smelled it before, Buddy. You always seem to miss all the fun."
On the last load of laundry I did last night I think I figured out what exactly is wrong with the washer. There is something wrong with the connector doo-hickey (more technical jargon) that senses when the lid is down. The washer won't go into spin cycle if it thinks that is up. The fix? Put a screw driver in the hole where the sensor is and let it go open. Hell I only have to deal with it for another 2 weeks and then I am moving anyway. I am certainly not going to pay anyone to come fix a washer that I bought second hand (when my other washer died) that I am not taking to England anyway. I figure we will just put it out on the curb and either some poor schmuck will pick it up or the trash man will get it. Either way, it won't be my problem anymore.