Yes, it's that time again. A lovely note from your mom. Now, I know you are contractually obligated and at a stage in your development as a human where you are supposed to be ornery, petulant, and generally a pain in my rear end. You're two. It happens. But seriously, can we knock it off? At bedtime, when you tell me "Mommy out!" I know it isn't because you are wanting to be self sufficient and go to bed on your own. It is because the minute I walk out the door you are going to get out of bed and start doing whatever the hell you want to do. I mean, you aren't even being slick about it; you turn the lights on. From now on, lay down, go to sleep and hush your mouth, cause frankly I don't care if you pitch a fit, you are still going to sleep.
Also, quit hitting your sister. She is a sensitive kid and will totally take it upon herself to rat you out. It would be in your best interest to start picking on kids who are A) much bigger than you or B) can't talk and therefore can't tattle on you.
Dear Interrupter-One Upper-Close Talker,
I now know the heights of all 3 of your children. This isn't because I took a measurements of my own, it is because you say stuff like "Well my oldest, you know the 5 foot tall one, she yadda yadda yadda yadda" Couldn't care lady. Also could you back up just a smidgen when you are making a point to me, because, well, you're in my bubble and I might have to take evasive defensive actions if you get any closer.
You. Crack. Me. Up.
Thanks for the laughs, Kiddo.