Friday, April 3, 2009

A Case Study on Sick Mom (by 5 year old child)

Mom hasn't felt well these past couple of days. Frankly she is a little hot and cold in the temper department. I have compiled this list of recent behaviors to demonstrate the demeanor of our subject, Sick Mom.

3:30 pm- Mom looks a little green but she is all smiles as she picks me up from school.
3:32 pm- Mom won't let me have ice cream from the ice cream truck. She is evil.
3:35 pm- Ask mom if we can decorate Easter Bonnet for the Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow at school. She says "Can you let me get in the door first?" Obvious hostility.
3:40pm- Mom lets me eat all the sweets I purchased today at the school fair. She is redeemed.
4:00pm- Mom on phone with Granny and keeps shoo'ing me out of the kitchen. Geez!
4:48pm- Mom offers to let us do crafts. Markers and crayons rock. She is awesome!
5:15pm- Hot dogs for dinner with BBQ chips. This woman is really trying to make me happy today.
5:56pm- Mom is yelling at me and KiKi to quit fighting. We aren't fighting. We are having a fundamental difference of opinion.
6:12pm- Mom just took away my markers for coloring on my self. That woman is a killjoy.
6:36pm- Mom says if we clean up the living room she will let us watch a movie. How is that fair?
6:54pm- Mom is a slave driver. Living room clean.
7:10pm- Mom put in Horton Hears a Who for us to watch. Score!
7:15pm- Mom even made popcorn (not the pre-popped stuff in the bag for once). Something has seriously be wrong with her.
7:50pm- KiKi and I are bored with the movie so we are running around the living room. Mom thinks this is not cool. She needs to chill.
8:24pm- Mom says we have to go to bed. Now. Gosh!

Apparently Sick Mom is a benevolent dictator. Nice enough to lull us kids into a false sense of security and then brings down the mighty hammer when we least suspect it.

31 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

I just can't believe you don't allow your children ice-cream at every whim. How evil.

Wait a second, I'm letting my inner 5-yr-old loose on the blogs again, sorry.

Chairman Bill said...

Benevolent dictators are a good thing. It's the succession that proves problematic.

Yaya said...

This is funny! I like the "fundamental difference of opinion" part!

Vodka Mom said...

classic...........now here's a hot toddy for ya...

Badass Geek said...

What fun would parenthood be if you didn't get to be a dictator every once and a while?

Joanie M said...

Hey!! Vodka Mom!!! I'm sick too!!! I could use one of those hot toddies and I live way closer to you than Kat does!

Get better soon, Kat. Your kids just might mutiny.

Bobby G said...

Its so funny, when sick, that youd let kids do shit they normally wouldnt JUST because you dont care! I love that, Id do the same thing! lol

Single Parent Dad said...

'We are having a fundamental difference of opinion'

Brilliant.

Cat said...

god i hope you get to feeling much better soon!

Jess said...

(Sick) Mom's are amazingly deceiving like that! This list totally made me LOL

Larkin said...

I really want to decorate Easter bonnets, color on myself and eat hotdogs now.

Cammie said...

heehee. this made me giggle.

for a different kind of girl said...

Never let them see you weak, even when you are ACTUALLY weak from sickness! You've done well to maintain power!

Michelle said...

Great post! I was laughing out loud!

Miss Grace said...

lol, I love it.

Hope you're feeling better :)

Cape Cod Gal said...

Fresh popped popcorn! You would be my hero!!!

splodge said...

Sweets, chips, a movie home-made popcorn AND a hilarious post all in one day!

What was the name of the medication the doctor (finally) gave you??

Captain Dumbass said...

Hmm. My comment didn't take. What the heck did I say before? Whatever. Green painting tape sucks. Just thought you should know.

musing said...

All those opinion changes made me a little dizzy.

Smitten by Britain said...

I think you need your head examined. ;) Seriously, my arse would never leave the sofa. Fresh popcorn? Whatever.

Auntie A said...

The best is when they talk behind your back and you hear it....like stay "away from mommy she is in a bad mood." Sometimes being snappy can work to your advantange!!!
xoxo
PS- Feel better soon, love you lots.

Momo Fali said...

I am amazed at how much sick mom is like hormonal mom. Not that I would know anything about that.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Sick Mom is probably a lot like Normal Mom, huh?

Abby Quijano said...

wow... sounds like a long day.. O_O

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia, where my own kids just shake their heads and make twirling signs with their fingers when I intone gravely: ``I was SO born to be a rock star'' ....

Jessica said...

LOL! Great stuff... I am (sadly) like this every day! Talk about inconsistent parenting.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Ice Cream Truck drivers are evil and why do they always seem to drive by just 'before' dinner time?

Sniffles and Smiles said...

This is toooo funny!!! LOL...How perfectly you have captured the perspective of the innocents...Brilliantly funny! Congrats on your mention in POTD! Well-deserved!

Eddie Bluelights said...

Oh! the joys of parenthood!
Very funny and well done on Daid's POTD - congratulations.

Celia said...

This is hysterical. And not unlike how your employees treat you as a manager.

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