Friday, June 5, 2009

Dear So and So... Episode III

Dear Landlords,

Still no toilet.  Come on people!  Get your act together.

Regards, Kat
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Dear POW Sam Kitty,

I know your bid for freedom has been foiled numerous times.  However, you must realize I have quite a lot of money tied up in you now.  That plane ticket to England wasn't cheap.  Plus I like having you around.  Oh and that spider monkey leap you tried from the floor to the counter top in the laundry room this morning was hilarious; especially since you missed and fell.  I am a sucker for  people/animals falling.

Love, Kat
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Dear KiKi,

This angsty teenager thing you are pulling at the ripe age of almost three is getting old.  Just because you do not get your way does not mean I am "mean".  You can sulk and whine all you like, but you are not going to get your way.

Love, Mom
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Dear Guy I Saw at the Market,

Short shorts are not meant for men.  I could almost see the twins for heavens sake.  I know it is "hot" here in England for this time of the year, but could we at least make sensible fashion decisions?  

Thanks a bunch, Kat
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Dear Elizabeast,

1.  The garbage is in the bin for a reason.  The reason is not for you to eat it.
2.  The Dog Whisperer means no harm.
3.  Quit barking at the neighbors.  They are gonna start to think you are antisocial. 
4.  Awwww aren't you a good girl.  Who's the pretty girl!!!

Love, Your Human Mama




34 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

short shorts on men?


I am laughing out loud right now. LOL!!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

English are good at many things. Looking good in the heat is not one of them. A big NOOOOOO to short shorts on men. Please guys. We're all with Kat on this one.

tracy said...

I'm so laughing right now...cant even pick out a fave.

brilliant!

tracy

Mitzy said...

Hahaha... short shorts on a guy is just as bad as any moose knuckle out there!
Thanks for starting off my day with a good laugh!

Jess said...

LOL! I loved your letters! And she issssssssss a pretty girl! How could you be mad at that face! OH and cats falling...HILARIOUS.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Thanks for a much needed laugh this morning. All of them were so funny!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Okay. Now we need to read the replies.

Ellie

Only Aman said...

seriously... short shirts? I have seen them on flamboyant men... but even on they they look odd.

Besides the toilet... your life seems pretty similar.

;-)

-Aman

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

The 'short shorts' one had me in stitches...particularly the 'twins' part... ;)

Michele said...

The twins, HA! I just snorted coffee on my keyboard.

for a different kind of girl said...

Seriously!? Still no fixed toilet?!

I once saw a guy get out of his car at Target and was so taken aback by his ass hanging out of his super short cut offs that I had to stand by my car and regain my composure. Then I joined the throng of Target customers who were discreetly following the man through the store so we could marvel at his ventilation system. He was VERY ventilated...

Badass Geek said...

Oh. So I should return my wardrobe I purchased at the new Richard Simmons R' Us store?

Tawny said...

Seeing 'the twins' what a hideous thought, also who can possible think that a huge big beer belly on display is attractive. NO!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Short shorts on men, shudder.

Sammanthia said...

The same goes for men who wear Speedos. It's just not right.

Mary T said...

The twins, ha ha ha, I'll be using that one. Very funny and so true!

notfromaroundhere said...

The problem with knowing you IRL is that I get previews and thus I lose the opportunity to snort coffee out my nose and onto my keyboard when you post these things :-)

Abby Quijano said...

oh wow this is a good idea to do for a blog !

guy with short shorts is a no no! that's just really funny though !!!

Abby Quijano said...

oh wow this is a good idea to do for a blog !

guy with short shorts is a no no! that's just really funny though !!!

Comedy Goddess said...

I'm glad it's a picture of Elizbeast and not the Twins. Thank you.

BeautifulWreck said...

short shorts on men = nasteee

Last year we spent a month at the beach. So did this man from France. For some reason he thought it was perfectly alright to go nude on the beach in Alabama. My daughter and her friend got to see their first adult naked man and it was not a pretty sight.

kel said...

awwww.... she is a pretty girl!!!

The Laughing Idiot said...

Very funny!

I have one of those teenaged three-year-olds too. I'm pulling my hair out - do you have any left? If so, what's the secret?

Irish Gumbo said...

Cats falling IS funny (snort)...short shorts on men, not so much.

And KiKi? Your mom's right: you ain't gonna get your way...

Trooper Thorn said...

So that's where I need to go to get the shorts I like. They have been gone from North America for 20years!

Thanks Kat.

Joanie M said...

Short shorts on men? No No NO!

Reminds me of a time this fellow was at my house. I think I was giving him a haircut. He was quite hairy.
He sat down and his denims cut-offs were, um... a little too short and my mother got quite an eyeful of his hairy twins! He also had no underwear on. LOL! Thanks for the memory!

MikeH said...

One hot (for the UK) day a few summers back, a guy got on my bus wearing short shorts...and no shirt. I was just so hoping he didn't sit next to me!!!!

(He didn't.)

Single Parent Dad said...

Poor guy, had he looked after his mankini line(s).

♥ Braja said...

And the dog heard "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah who's a pretty girl blah blah blah" :))

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

found my way to you via the "gumbo" highway...hope you don't mind if i stop back by :)

the twins? gggggggg-ross. i wouldn't have been able to stop looking sadly enough.

Aunt Juicebox said...

omg My daughter was just talking about short shorts on men and that she thinks it's gross and disgusting. And for reals, it is, guys.

Lola said...

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a clutz for a cat. Mine crashes all the time in her attempted counter leaps. It's hilarious!!!

Jenni said...

the only people who should be wearing short shorts are super models and teenage girls. and still not toilet? are you kidding me?

Cape Cod Gal said...

Short shorts? You should see the guys at my yoga class! SCARY!!!