(err...I mean eyes...) (This is my mom's dog "Puppy")
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday!! It's my favorite day of the week again! Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts. This is where I take my scrambled brain and serve it up ala Kat to the interwebz. Oh and these are gonna be good ones folks. Head on over to Keely's place grab the button and play along!
So far we have been to Windsor Castle, Ely Cathedral, Norwich Castle, and the Norwich Cathedral. I am exhausted and I think my feet may soon fall off my body.
So we were driving back from Norwich yesterday and my mom said "What the Frankfurter!" I have now adopted this substitute for WTF. "Beans and Wieners!" also sounds like it can be a good exclamation. i.e. "Beans and Wieners, I forgot to feed the cat!" It also incorporates my love of encased meats.
You know what a really good feeling is? When you are going through a roundabout knowing you are most likely the only American driving there and there is a horn behind you and you KNOW it wasn't directed at you. Sweet vindication!!!
It has been HOT here, well hot for England. Like 80 degrees . I am about to melt not having AC. POW Sam Kitty is having to take up permanent residence in the bathroom because he will escape if we don't lock him up. Ok, so he is only in there a few hours in the afternoon while we cool off the house, but he has been quite surly to us due to his incarceration (not that that is anything new).
Captain Dumbass sent the girls a couple of stuffed animals from the Winter Olympics that are being held in Vancouver in 2010. KiKi named them "Yes" and "No" (No, was first, I think it is cause she hears that word the most).
DO NOT GET RID OF YOUR UMBRELLA STROLLER UNTIL YOUR CHILD CAN WALK A MILE AND NOT ASK TO BE CARRIED!! Seriously, my arms are like jelly. In Norwich yesterday we broke down and bought a new one.
I am not going ANYWHERE today. I am gonna sit on my badonkadonk and read and rest my feet. After climbing 900 year old spiral staircases, walking around 3 cathedrals, 2 castles, and the city streets of 3 cities my old dogs are barking!
OK I think I am done. Boy do I feel better.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Guys, my parents are in town. That means one thing; I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
So on Friday me, my mom, my dad and KiKi are in the car driving on base to the BX (it's like Wal-Mart for the military). We are potty training KiKi and she is wearing Dora underpants. Well I made the comment "KiKi, don't pee in your underpants, you don't want to pee on Dora." Then I hear my mom (who is in the front passenger seat) under her breath (where only I could hear) say "Yeah, cause if you pee on Dora she'll drown. Then Diego will come after you with a machete and then Boots will go all spider monkey on you. So, yeah it is just best not to pee on Dora" I have never laughed so hard in my life.
So I gave in and we got a Wii. My husband was playing Mario 3 and he yelled "Refuse to lose, Mario!" during level 6 (Ice World), when he was hell bent on Mario domination.
My mom farted in front of two of the ladies who answer questions at Windsor Castle as we were exiting the State Apartments. The Man asked if the carpet squeaked. She claims she is just old
so it happens. Whatev mom.
PS-Blogger's formating hates me again.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
So I was sorting through my deleted emails and I came across a peculiar file. I was suspicious because it was a really large file and was addressed to KiKi in the subject line. Now, I get a lot of weird emails, but none are usually addressed to my youngest daughter. It was also a really large file, too large to be just text. Curiosity got the best of me and when I opened it I found THIS!
I was confused. Did I miss or accidentally delete an email from Captain Dumbass? Certainly not. I IM'd the Captain and come to find out he had found a similar file. Check it out here. It appears that our little angels are communicating. What they are up to is anyone's guess.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hey everyone it is Tuesday again, you know the drill. Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts (and I totally had the voice over people from Casey Kasem American Top 40 (not the Ryan Secrest version) doing the intro in my head)! Head on over to Keely's Place and pick up the button and play along!
My parents are coming on Thursday!!!! Got to make some phone calls and set up a trip to Windsor Castle!
I got my new Blackberry (as a free upgrade to my plan) yesterday. Woohoooo! Now I can check my email anywhere.
I don't think The Man is nearly as excited about the new Blackberrys as I am. He is not big on change in general and last night before bed he was like "Ummm so I can't use my old phone for my alarm huh?" No silly, use the new phone!
Potty Training (for serious this time) Day 1- No accidents at all!!! This kid might be an easy one...hopefully...knock on wood!
Tomorrow I have an awesome guest post for you guys. My favorite ex-pat author/blogger, Mike Harling, is doing a virtual book tour for his book Postcards from Across the Pond. It a great book and I highly recommend it to all of you! Oh and not only is he a good writer, he is a really nice guy who helps me decide what kind of daytrips I should take here in England (very handy)!
Gah! Why aren't the people at the base travel office not picking up their phones?? What is the point of having a phone if you aren't going to answer it? I mean you are a travel agent right? Isn't most of your business done on the PHONE?
Sorry about that, little melt down.
Now the line is busy...I can't win! *sigh*
Did you know that Casey Kasem did voices for Sesame Street? Just found that out on Wikipedia...ya learn something new everyday.
Elizabeth is getting a bath and hair cut today. Wish me luck! Or rather wish her luck; I have never used pet grooming clippers before! I did get the set with the manual for "dummies" though!
Happy RTT everyone! Now go forth and spread the random!
PS- Did I overdo it with the exclamation marks this week?
Monday, June 22, 2009
On Saturday we had a busy busy day. LaLa had swim class at noon (the child is half fish I swear) and then afterwards we attended the schools main fund raising activity, the Summer Fete. For the Americans, a fete is like a fair with no rides. It had games for the kids to play, a face painting booth, a dunk tank (which many teachers fell victim to), a rummage sale, and demonstrations put on by various community groups. There was also a burger van, donut van, and an ice cream truck.
We started the afternoon at the face painting booth.
LaLa attempted the dunking booth!
LaLa won a pink blow up guitar from the test your strength booth (everyone won)!
Ice Cream enjoyed by all. Oh and it was sooo yummy. British soft serve ice cream beats the crap out of American ice cream. It is light and creamy and mmmmm. Oh and it van that serves it is called Mr. Whippy and if that isn't a reason to love it, I don't know what is!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Dear Hawt Plumber,
Thanks for coming to replace my toilet. It only took you 7 weeks to get around to it. Apparently when you couldn't find it in the original color you just thought I wouldn't want a toilet at ALL and neglected to inform ANYONE. You are forgiven now, cause I have a toilet.
Hooray for options! Kat
Dear Person Who Taught LaLa to say Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow,
Dude! Not funny (ok, well it is, but as a mother I have to say it isn't funny)! Let us just hope I never have to explain THAT one in polite company.
Totally embarrassed, Kat
Dear UK light bulbs,
At first I thought the previous tenants had figured out an ingenious way to make all my lights burn out within days of each other. Now I realize that you are just incredibly crappy. I have NEVER had to replace this many light bulbs in my life. This is getting ridiculous! I have spent a small fortune on light bulbs!
Frustrated, Kat (oh BTW, I am sitting in the dark writing this because I have NO lights in my lounge now!)
Dancing nude when you are 3 is cute. When you are 18 it becomes a less than desirable profession. Keep that in mind.
Dear The Man,
I am so so so so so so so so glad you are back from Sweden. This past couple weeks was at best controlled chaos. Even though you have only been home less than 24 hours, things feel back to normal.
I love you, Kat
Dear All My Lovely Participants,
Grab the button from the sidebar and leave your link with Mr. Linky.
Love Ya Mean It, Kat
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
It's time for a little random! Yes, it is Random Tuesday Thoughts. Let's get this party started! You can thank Keely for this and go check out other RTT posts by clicking on this nifty button.
Why do I clean better when I listen to Fergie? It is really embarrassing. I mean dancing around the kitchen with the blinds open? I am lame.
I mentioned the Dog Whisperer, Caesar Milan, in a tweet on twitter and he started following me. Then I followed him back. The next day I got a direct message saying "Thanks for the follow. Stay Calm and Assertive." I laughed my butt off. Need to tell Elizabeast about this! You know since she is such a "fan".
I have half a dozen cupcakes left over from KiKi's birthday. I think I might just sit the kids down at the table after school and tell them to "go for it".
I was on the phone with my husband and told him "I am so sick of watching cartoons" and LaLa piped up and said "Well, we can compromise". Huh? What? "You don't even know what that means!" "Yeah, it means you get some of what you want and I get some of what I want!"
Yesterday we had a HUGE storm. I left the school and had to drive to one of the bases to pick up my mail and it looked like something out of "The Wizard of Oz". After living in the midwest for 5 years I have been classically conditioned to look for tornados. While in my head I knew it was crazy, since I live in England, to look for tornados. Then that night I found out that we HAD been under a tornado watch issued by the base. Lovely.
In my garden I have 19 mole hills. I now know how the saying "making mountains out of mole hills" came into to be. Mole hills are huge here!
When I was trying to outrun the storm yesterday I had the song "The Distance" by Cake stuck in my head.
"Reluctantly crouched at the starting lineEngines pumping and thumping in time
The green light flashes, the flags go up
Churning and burning they yearn for the cup
They deftly manuver and muscle for rank
Fuels burning fast on an empty tank
Reckless and wild, they pour through the turns
Their prowess is potent and secretly stern"
My aunt sent KiKi like 500 stickers for her birthday. Revenge will be sweet. ;) Love Ya, Auntie A.
Friday, June 12, 2009
6 weeks! 6 Weeks, people!!!
Get it Together, Kat
The game Kerplunk that you manufacture it the stupidest game ever. It take 15 minutes to get all those little sticks to hold up the marbles and about 2.5 seconds for my kids to get them all to fall. Then guess who gets to reassemble the sticks because they can't get them to line up right? You guessed it! Me! Stupidest. Game. Ever!
Dear Guy at the Food Court,
I know you were sitting at the table next to us, but that does not give you permission to eves- drop on my daughter and my conversation. We were not talking about THAT. I was telling her what to do to cool off her very hot, just out of the fryer, french fry. I wasn't sure you were listening until I said that word again and I saw that little smile come across your face just like a 14 year old boy. Perv.
Your Deep Clean "invigorating" Foaming Scrub does not have the correct labeling. What you describe as a "cooling" effect is more like putting IcyHot on your face. "Tingling" is not the right word. More like "Oh my God I think my face is on fire". You are lucky my moisturizer seemed to put out the fire.
A Concerned Customer, Kat
Thanks for not embarrassing me in public. When you fell I was sure you were gonna say something incriminating, but you called your derriere your "bottom". Thanks for that!
Much Relieved, Mom
I am making this a weekly feature. If you would like to participate, leave a link in the comments. Now I just need to find someone to make me a button....
Happy Letter Writing, Kat
** Check it yo! Thanks Badass Geek!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I have sat here for 30 minutes already trying to pen the perfect Birthday Letter for you. I tried to do the mushy thing. While I am astounded that it has already been three years since you were born, mushy just does not fit your personality. You have never been one for overt emotions. Yes, you are affectionate, but mostly you like to be rough and tumble. You would much rather be playing something physical than babying a doll. It is just your personality.
Although you frustrate me to no end, you make me laugh. I mean seriously laugh. You do things that make me want to rip my hair out. Then I think about the process that went through your little head when you were perpetrating your crime and it always has me in a fit of giggles when you aren't looking. Turning on the lights after you were already put in bed? Did you really think you would get away with that?
I have to say I sincerely believe that when you are a grown woman you will be a force to be reckoned with. As fiercely independent as you are now, I can't see you being any other way. Quick tempered, but just as quick to apologise when you are wrong. You just make me proud. I love you. I am so glad that I am your mom. Happy Birthday.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I am not going to be posting my RTT today, maybe Thursday (I mean it does still start with a T, give me a break). Right now I want you to head over to Mama Dawg's place, where I am guest posting, so I can tell you about the best tantrum E.V.E.R. perpetrated by LaLa. It really was a doozy. Go read now! Here.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday....ugh. There is not enough caffeine in the world... So anyway, this weekends highlights included a trip to the ER, a friend visiting and filling out a resume. Oh I didn't tell you guys? I am gonna be looking for a real job. I know blogging is fun, but it doesn't pay the bills. I will of course still write, but I have this pesky bachelors degree sitting on the bookshelf and it has yet to be put to work. Also apparently when you take out student loans, they want you to repay them at some point. Who knew? Also remember I said that England is ridiculously expensive? Long story short I am looking for a job on base. Hopefully a job I can use the degree. I would really like to do something with training and records or in the travel office. I know it sounds boring, but it is right up my alley.
My friend NFAH came to visit again this weekend. It wasn't all fun and games though, we mostly worked on hammering out my resume, which because I have stayed at home for the last 6 years has very little work experience, but a lot of educational experience. We also sat around and looked at a couple of my cookbooks. OK, they aren't just any cookbooks, they are the kind of cook books that churches publish. The ones where the members of the church contribute recipes. Very American recipes. Recipes that include ingredients such as Velveeta or condensed Cream of Mushroom soup. It was really fun to look at them together and have a good laugh.
I guess you guys might want to know how me and the girls ended up at the ER...well there was this popcorn bowl. Apparently when popcorn bowls go airborne, thanks to a certain little one *cough* KiKi, and hit another little girl, LaLa in the mouth, there will be a need for the ER. Don't worry, no major damage. LaLa's top lip had to be glued back together on the outside, but the inside damage is just going to have to heal on its own. I probably could have not taken her, but better safe than sorry.
So that brings us back to Monday morning. Monday. Ugh.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Still no toilet. Come on people! Get your act together.
Dear POW Sam Kitty,
I know your bid for freedom has been foiled numerous times. However, you must realize I have quite a lot of money tied up in you now. That plane ticket to England wasn't cheap. Plus I like having you around. Oh and that spider monkey leap you tried from the floor to the counter top in the laundry room this morning was hilarious; especially since you missed and fell. I am a sucker for people/animals falling.
This angsty teenager thing you are pulling at the ripe age of almost three is getting old. Just because you do not get your way does not mean I am "mean". You can sulk and whine all you like, but you are not going to get your way.
Dear Guy I Saw at the Market,
Short shorts are not meant for men. I could almost see the twins for heavens sake. I know it is "hot" here in England for this time of the year, but could we at least make sensible fashion decisions?
Thanks a bunch, Kat
1. The garbage is in the bin for a reason. The reason is not for you to eat it.
2. The Dog Whisperer means no harm.
3. Quit barking at the neighbors. They are gonna start to think you are antisocial.
4. Awwww aren't you a good girl. Who's the pretty girl!!!
Love, Your Human Mama
Thursday, June 4, 2009
At LaLa's school they have "Birthday Lunches" for the children. Yes, it sounds nice in theory, but let me explain the problem. At the beginning of the year in LaLa's Reception class there were 27 children, but most of them left at lunch time (as they were only 4 years old) and went home. That left 12 kids for lunch and the remainder of the day. For a "Birthday Lunch" the child is allowed to pick 8 kids for their table at their special lunch. Most of the time at the beginning of the year the parent of the birthday kid would generally just pick up the tab and pay for the other 4 children to join in at the birthday table. Now, all the kids stay all day. It has made these "Birthday Lunches" quite a problem. They have become competitive.
Lets say "Johnny" is having a birthday and he picks 8 kids to attend. Now there are 19 kids left out. The parents mumble "so is your child going to Johnny's birthday lunch?" If it is a no and your child is a girl they say something like "Oh he must have just invited the boys..." If you say yes, then they say something like "Oh...alright" and you can tell they are mulling it over why their child was not picked. If both parties got invited it is like they are in a special club together.
Now frankly, LaLa could care less if she is picked for a "Birthday Lunch" cause she doesn't like eating the school's hot dinners. She would rather have her packed lunch of a peanut butter sandwich, YoGo Bits, and crackers and cheese. She likes it when she is picked, but she always complains that she doesn't want the hot dinner. I usually pack her lunch even if she has the Birthday Lunch but she always returns home with it. I assume she eats what she is given, but the child is picky, so I dunno.
This week LaLa was picked for two "Birthday Lunches". Actually, she has been picked for most of them this year. While I love the fact that her peers like her, I am sick of having to rationalize the fact that she got picked while another child has not been. When she isn't picked, to me it is just not a big deal. Maybe she just isn't very good friends with that child or maybe that child just ran out of places for their friends; not a big deal. I hate the competitive moms who have to judge all the children and why they were picked or not picked. It is another version of the Mommy Wars that is being propagated by the schools shortsighted policy. It just makes me glad that LaLa's birthday is near Christmas and therefore during a school break and I don't have to deal with it.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Gooooood morning everyone! You know what time it is; time to get our RTT on! My chance to unleash the crazy on all the world. Have I ever mentioned that Tuesday is now my favorite day of the week? No? It is. Everyone stop by Keely's place, grab a button and release your inner crazy upon the Internets. It feels really good to get it all out, promise.
I woke up this morning 8 minutes before my alarm. What is up with that?
KiKi has started this thing about when she really wants to emphasize something she is saying she shrugs her shoulders up and down as she is saying each word.
This has been making me laugh all week. Chad, you need to start saving for the therapy bills now, or writing a legal document specifying what retirement home you want to go to.
Lately I have had this thing about tortillas. I want to eat everything on a tortilla. Of course there are rules to this to, if I call it a "wrap" it is healthy if I call it a "burrito" it is unhealthy. Don't question my methods.
Keira has been walking around singing "Winnie Apu, Winnie Apu" and I know she is singing "Winnie the Pooh" but I can't help but giggle and think of Apu from The Simpsons. Sing it in your head I guarantee you will be thinking about the owner of the Kwik-E-Mart.
I was on my way to the Commissary on Monday morning at 10 AM and had a pigeon fly over my car and crap on my windshield. Since I was driving at roughly 30 mph, it did this lovely splat and spread over my window. I have it out for pigeons now. I disliked them before, now they are toast. I mean it took me 4 attempts of washing my windows with the little squirty window cleaning thingy next to the wipers to get my windshield clean.
I have got to come up with a way to get my kids to leave my husband and my stuff alone. Short of cutting off hands that is. In the past few days they have lost a camera memory card and an iPod docking station. We found the memory card. The iPod docking station is still missing. Guess The Man won't have tunes for a while until we can get a new one.
LaLa for the first time tried to use the line "Super pretty please with a cherry on top!" It didn't work. She still had to go find her jammies and get ready for bed.
England is insanely expensive and the exchange rate sucks right now. Enough said on that issue.
I hope I didn't worry anyone with yesterday's post. We don't know that my husband is going anywhere dangerous at any time. We do know it is a possibility in the future though. Just one of those things.
Chocolate chip muffins must have been invented by a PMS-ing woman.
Ok that is all I got for right now. Thanks for listening, you guys are great!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Military wives all have it, The Fear. The Fear in the back of their head that their loved one will be sent somewhere dangerous. The Fear that once they are there that something will happen to them. I chose not to face The Fear daily. I can not live daily with The Fear. I chose to ignore it. I can't worry about something that might happen. I have things to do. I have kids who need me to get on with it. I have a husband who needs his house to run in an orderly manner. I do not have time for The Fear.
Sometimes however The Fear rears it's ugly head. Usually when I am doing something mundane like the dishes. It starts as a thought, then it creeps up my neck. My throat starts to close up and get very dry. My mind races. I feel the tears starting to well up. Then and only then do I acknowledge The Fear. I look it square in the face and tell it I know it is there. I tell it that it can not rule my life and I have things I need to get done. I tell it that no matter how bad it wants me to feel that I know everything will be fine. Then I press on. I have a life to lead and I can't waste it with The Fear.