Wednesday, October 20, 2010

As Elton John sang, "The Circle of Life"

I think I am going to have to give POW Sam Kitty a new name as he is no longer a POW and hasn't been one for nearly 3 months. Yes, I have given up the good fight of keeping him indoors. Yes, I live on a main road and fear for his safety, but nearly being killed by tripping on him and figuring out how to block his escape each and every time I opened the front door was becoming a huge problem (read-pain in the ass). So I adopted the view of that Russian (Dolph Ludgren in real life for the record) from Rocky IV, that says "If he dies, he dies". In truth I really don't want him to die, not only cause he is a pretty awesome cat, but for goodness sake I flew him across an ocean and I have entirely too much money tied up in him now.

So, as I was saying, Sam Kitty is now free as a bird now. Also, eating birds...and mice. Actually, I don't think he eats them all since he has now brought me 3 mice and a bird as sacrifices. I tried to explain to him, as a household of Christians we don't require blood sacrifices, but you know how it is with cats, in one ear out the other. Instead he has continued to play Grim Reaper to the mouse and bird population. Then I took the approach of accepting that cats eat mice, even The Farmer in the Dell* says so (you didn't know that takes means eat, did you?). So with resignation I let him continue to play Jason Voorhees in my backyard.

That was until Sunday afternoon. The day that will live in infamy (other than when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, cause that was really bad too). He puked mouse guts up on my utility room carpet. Oh Lord in Heaven help me! It smelled really really bad and I had to clean it up. Needless to say I almost made a matching stain on the carpet. Now, I am dead set against him exercising the circle of life in my backyard. I however am not willing to confine him to the house.

Flash forward to Tuesday afternoon. I am minding my own business doing the dishes and peering outside the window in front of me to the backyard. I see Sam Kitty, bringer of death, outside acting suspicious. I say out loud to nobody in particular, "Oh no! What's he got now?!" and he freezes in his tracks like he has heard me. Then looks directly at me with a mouse hanging out of his mouth. I take off like a shot outside yelling "OH NO YOU DON'T!!" (I'll be dammed if I am having mouse guts on my carpet again!) chasing him. He runs like the damn wind and ducks under the fence. Blast! I'm foiled!!! Not to mention, I look like an idiot and am once again glad that I have no neighbors. The joke is on him however because it starts raining shortly after and I won't let him inside until I am sure that he won't puke on my carpet. HaHa! Take that Sam Kitty, Grim Reaper of Mice!

*Farmer in the Dell lyrics