More than a few times I have seen moms, new and old, commenting that they need to see if their husband's can "babysit" the children. Babysit? No, it is called parenting. It just annoys me to no end. Don't get me wrong, I do ask, out of consideration for my husband, if he has things planned before I make plans, but I don't ask him to babysit. It is a given if I am going out with my friends or doing things where kids would be a nuisance that he is going to be the parent in charge. In fact, he loves having alone time with our kids. They do fun things like go to the cinema, watch Spongebob marathons, or go rollerskating.
When I was a new mom I did have a hard time letting go though. What if he does it wrong? Well, guess what? He might not do things exactly like I would, but the kids are well cared for and he hasn't broken one yet. In fact, I have more problems with the way that he folds t-shirts than the way he takes care of the kids. I might come home to the girls dressed in VERY mismatched outfits, countless cereal bowls in the sink, and kids so sugar high that they are pinging off the walls, but it is completely worth it. I get my time. MY time.
I have heard some Stay at Home Moms comment that they are hesitant to leave their children with their partners because they feel like the children are their "job" and that their partners have a "real job". Guess what? Having small children at home is a real job. Nobody stays at their "real job" 24/7 except for stay at home parents (and yes, working mom's are also on call 24/7. Those telephone calls from school when a child is sick makes that abundantly clear). Sometimes, for a Mum's sanity they need to call in their relief pitcher. It isn't a sign of bad parenting, it is a sign of being human and needing a bit of time to yourself. Why would you ever feel guilty about that?
If your husband isn't comfortable with you leaving the children with him, maybe it is a good opportunity to find out why. Are they afraid they are going to do something wrong? Do they feel like it isn't their "job"? Do they think the child is gonna freak out the moment you leave the house? Do they feel like they don't get enough "me" time? Asking these questions and keeping the lines of communication open while parenting is so crucial. Letting your emotions bubble an fester, just accepting that they don't want to "babysit", feeling like you never get to do what you would like to do, can't be good for a relationship.
Do you call it babysitting? Does your husband/partner do their fair share? Do you feel comfortable leaving your kids for long stretches (even overnight)? I want to see what other mom's think. Am I being unreasonable thinking that calling the male parent a babysitter is a little wrong? Thoughts?