Wednesday, February 18, 2009

An Exercise in Restraint

You all would be so proud of me. OK well maybe not proud, but you might have sympathized with me a bit yesterday. I restrained myself. I didn't use one word of profanity even though I was about to explode into explitives.

You see LaLa, my sweet beloved child is, well lets face it. The child is lazy. I mean slothful. I regularly have to remind her that she has two feet and two legs that are perfectly functional and she is perfectly capable of getting up and getting what she needs herself.

Well yesterday I had reached my limit with her. It had been a completely horrible day as it was and if I heard her ask me to fetch her one more item. Then it happened.

"Mom, can you get me a drink." Mind you this kid is perfectly capable of getting a cup out of the dishwasher and getting her own drink of water or pouring her own kool-aid, or even getting a juice box. She does not need help to get a drink at all. And this is where I was about to snap.

"LaLa, I am not your...maid" Now see what I wanted to say was "LaLa, I am not your bitch," but I didn't. I restrained myself, which we all know is not my strong point. I should have got a danm medal for that.

26 comments:

Chairman Bill said...

Reminds me of an occasion I had to tell my 8 year-old son to do something, the instruction for which he ignored.

I repeated the instruction, telling him I would not repeat it a 3rd time.

He replied, "Good, so you won't be bugging me anymore then?"

Single Parent Dad said...

Oh, that drives me mad, especially when the come and find you having walked passed what they want. Good on you. I often retort with; of course I'll get you a drink, how does the day after tomorrow sound?

Chris said...

I 100% sympathize with you!!!

Chas said...

I understand commpletely. A common phrase in our home is: "Is your juice box arm broken?" Which translates directly to: "Get it your own damn self."

Bobby G said...

WOW nice work! You had to put all you had into that! lol

for a different kind of girl said...

My 11 year old often sits 2 feet from the fridge, and, by some odd coincidence, also has 2 feet that work, but when he needs ketchup or some such thing, he sits there as his food gets cold, telling whomever will listen what he needs in order to proceed eating. My standard response of late (to avoid the cursing!) is to just say "Seriously?!" He's finally catching on!

Jess said...

I fear for the language my children may learn at an early age...my filter is amazing around other people's kids, but I worry that I will get used to those strange short people in my house and forget that they can't learn the value of "fuck" until much, much later in life.

Cape Cod Gal said...

My husband does that. I swear, sometimes I am his bitch.

Imagine if you had said that!!!! How would you explain that away!!!!

Lola said...

I thought only boys did that. A simple get it/do it yourself works wonders with my son. At least that's one issue where I don't have to lose it to get some action.

Cleaning up his stuff, that's a whole other ballgame!

Mama Dawg said...

I commend you on your restraint. Truly, I do.

Cameron said...

Bravo!! I am occasionally guilty of cussing in front of the children when I'm upset. The other day I get home from work, wife is making soup and grilled cheese, and she burned the grilled cheese. We threw them out and I made new ones. While distracted by the children, I burned the second set. "Damn it!" came right out of my mouth as I flung them across the kitchen into the garbage. Oops.

Heather said...

I am STILL to this day, making cheese sandwiches for my 15 yr old's lunch. Thank God she graduates in 2 years, I don't think I'll ever make one again. Sadly, I've learned that if I don't make it for her, she just won't eat. Some battles we just can't win.

Miss Grace said...

Did she get her juice?

See my problem is that Gabriel WANTS to do everything for himself and I don't want him to make a mess, so I end up cutting him off and doing it for him so I can save myself the cleanup time.

honeywine said...

Sounds like my mom. Drives me up the ever-lovin' wall!

Jen said...

I know how hard that was. You totally need a metal, we all do.

Cat said...

I just realized I do this to other people all the time.

Whoops.

You're like Dr. Phil, Kat.

Jen W said...

Ugh. I've so been there. I find myself yelling one of those phrases I never thought I would say like, "What do I look like to you??? An octopus??? How many hands do you think I have!"

Sammanthia said...

LOL! I wrote a post similiar to this not that long ago. Gage is the same way. Lazy. We're working on it.;)

kel said...

Oh my gosh.. I so go off all the time, saying "what do I look like a waitress? the maid? you're personal servant????" They never pay attention... and I go get the damn drink anyway.

Captain Dumbass said...

Imagine if you had said it. "Lala, grandma and grandpa are here!"
"Where's my presents, bitch!?"

Yaya said...

Haha!

This drives me nuts w/ the kids I nanny for. They get whatever they want all weekend long and then each monday I have to whip them in to shape again and remind them that they are capable of doing things for themselves.

Jessica said...

I just stumbled across your blog .. and I can't even convey to you how funny I found this post. I had to read it aloud to my husband cause he couldn't figure out why I was snorting & crying at the same time!

Reinvent Dad said...

When I'm stressed by the kids and want to yell..most of the time I'm able to restrain myself by singing...MOST of the time anyway.

colepack said...

sister, I feel your pain. I would love to have a velco wall this week.

Yaya said...

Hey-something is up w/ your guest post for today, it just gets cut off suddenly.

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