Monday, January 12, 2009

Discombobulation

I am not really thinking too clearly today so you are gonna get an odds and ends post. A little bit of this and a sprinkle of that and little stirring and hope it turns into a post. Man it really is a Monday morning. I should not have stayed up til 1am watching the Pittsburgh/San Diego game. It was entertaining though. So here is going on at my place:

1. Elizabeast is pregnant. I spoke too soon last week. My little tramp is going to be puppyfied. 2 days ago I was looking at her and noticed that her nipples had gotten swollen and her little puppy boobs were starting to fatten up. Her belly also seems to have swollen over night. So if anyone knows anyone in England who would like a full blooded Cocker Spaniel puppy, let me know. The puppies should arrive in the next two weeks if I am calculating right.

2. I need to find more trousers for LaLa. I think I am going to give up on finding black and go with grey, it seems like everyone else at the school ignores the uniform and wears grey bottoms as opposed to the "required" black pants/skirt.

3. Last night was just not my night. Have you ever felt like God was just playing constant tricks on you to see how far He could push it before you lost your mind? I couldn't find LaLa's uniform trousers, when I did find them I realized that they had not been washed and were covered in cat/dog hair, there wasn't time to wash them, I couldn't find the lint roller, I then couldn't find some packing tape to substitute for a lint roller, when I did find the packing tape I couldn't remember where I had sat LaLa's trousers down at, then I went into a tizzy after I had sorted the trousers because my kitchen looked like an atomic bomb had gone off in it. By the time I had the kids in the bed and got some of the house picked up I was reaching apocalyptic levels of stress and was about to blow a gasket. In the end I just had to laugh because, it was my fault that nothing was going right, because my house is a disorganized mess and I have nobody to blame for that but myself*.

4. I thought my husband was going to physically grow into the couch yesterday while he was watching TV. I am also convinced the only reason he switched his head from one end of the couch to the other was to keep the indentation of his body even in the couch, we wouldn't want one side to sag more than the other. At least he keeps it amusing though. Like when he goes to move the remote and it somehow ends up above his head, he fumbles it, it almost knocks him in the face and he ends up batting it across the room. Hysterical. I laughed for a good 5 min at him. I imagine someone wildly flailing their arms above their head and then a remote shooting out across the room. I think I am still laughing in my head.

So that is what is going on in the land of Kat. Pregnant dog, can't find trousers still, mini melt down, and lazy husband who may or may have not left a permanent indentation in my sofa. I need a damn vacation.

*And the kids that can tear up a room in 5.3 seconds flat and the husband who leaves things laying around...but I am not saying anything

32 comments:

Captain Dumbass said...

#4- you don't want to let your blood pool on one side.

Elisabeast is a tramp.

Yaya said...

Look at you-already a Brit-calling pants "trousers". Don't become one of them! Don't do it! Lol!

Can't wait to see the puppies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Auntie A said...

Your cousin had a simular morning...35 outside no coat. Where's your 3 coats? I don't know..looks in the closet...DRAMA.., more DRAMA. Then mom to the rescue..looks in the closet and wallah there they are!!!Sometime we just need help or lots of deep breaths.
xoxox

Heinous said...

Don't you love when you get crisis escalation like the lint roller? It make you just want to throw in the towel... or grab a drink.

Myshka said...

I'm glad I'm not the only American that keeps saying pants.. trousers.. ugh, whatever. I'm almost tempted to take a puppy off your hands- Hubby and I just moved here about a year ago, and would love to have a sweet little pet!

Jess said...

Wow, your hubby and I had the same idea this weekend...and mine worked perfectly. I changed sides because my neck was starting to hurt.

for a different kind of girl said...

You take the dog out of the midwest and look what happens!

Comedy Goddess said...

It is truly a thankless job sometimes. Running the house, and family. Sigh.

Mama Dawg said...

It's days like that that I want to throw in the towel and move to the Florida Keys....by myself.

Michelle said...

Damn I wish I lived in England because I want one of those puppies!!
The dryer and a wet towel removes animal hair like no other!
My husband can't seem to move on weekends when football is on either. It must be in their DNA.

Cat said...

Listen, what do you want for those puppies? Cause I have this recipe I've been dying to try, but the ASPCA is so uptight about letting me take dogs home. You'd think they'd want the extra space, you know what I mean?

Sprite's Keeper said...

Er, I thought the cocker spaniel was Lady. The male dog was the Tramp. You people need to straighten out your Disney movies!

Irish Gumbo said...

He only switched positions ONCE? And knocked the remote across the room? PIKER! I rigged my remote up like a Wii controller. C'mon man, be professional!

And the Captain is right about the blood pooling thing. Gotta keep it moving...

I am not letting my daughter know about the pups, I'll never hear the end of it!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I have an idea for an invention, let me know if you are in. It's a mantator. It's like a rotisserie that rotates your man every half hour or so during football so that you don't end up with indentations on your sofa. You in?

splodge said...

Eeek! I'm getting anxious just reading this!

Miss Grace said...

At least cocker spaniel puppies are adorable.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Big K did the same thing yesterday. The only time me moved was to pee. He even had the nerve to ask me to grab him another drink as I walked by with the 3 loads of laundry I had to fold.

Puppies!!! YEAH!!!

ChurchPunkMom said...

yes. yes, i can relate. ;)

right down to the slutty pets...

Kat said...

CD- yes, she is a tramp a dirty dirty tramp.

Yaya- If I call them pants the Brits think I am talking about underwear.

AuntieA- Imagine her not being able to find something!

Heinous- Alas, there was no beer in the fridge.

Myshka- I am only 2 hours northeast of you if you are in London. And you too could have a Cocker Spaniel!

Jess- I told him next weekend he HAS to get off the couch.

FADKOG- I know she turned into a raging hussy!

CG- You are preachin to the choir girl!

MD- I am thinking Paris.

Michelle- With all the problems I had getting Elizabeth over here I can't even imagine trying to get a puppy back to the states.

Cat- umm I think that is technically illegal.

SK- I a bad bad Disney fan.

IG- He may have adjusted more than once, I was too insane to notice.

The SM- Can I just light a fire under him and rotisserie him?

Sploge- Sorry bout that.

MG- They are indeed cute. I am just worried about the work and the mess.

CCG- The Man pulled similar stunts.

CPM- It is a wonder we are not institutionalized sometimes.

Heather said...

Maybe nobody else can find black pants either and that's why they cheat with the gray ones.

Jen said...

Puppies huh? That was one interesting plane ride for her.

Tismee2 said...

Sorry to hear you're discombobulated today. It's the weather! We always blame it on the weather.

Elizabeast will have beautiful puppies - sorry I'm full up of animals at present and hubby would have a purple elephant if I told him I wanted another dog.

Don't worry about the hairy trousers (If you said pants people would think you were sending her out in her underwear)my two go out every day in them, I'm past caring now.

Hope tomorrow is better.

Lola said...

I told you I'd take a pup if you could Fed Ex him! Your day sounds like my past three weeks. I can't find anything around here, and the damn house appears orderly.

Reinvent Dad said...

My family is pushing for a dog, but alas we live in California and last time I asked the concensus was that they wanted a poodle, not a cocker...thanks for asking though.

honeywine said...

If only I were there to gets me another puppy! :(

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Elizabeast is a floozy and oh boy are you gonna be busy!

sandiesimplysays said...

Yikes! What a day! I hope your week gets better!

colepack said...

dude, now that is a day......

Badass Geek said...

Proper couch wear is important. I do the same thing, but more often.

Anonymous said...

I soooo wish I hadnt read your blog, cocker puppies, wahh, I want one!!! Hope you are enjoying England and manage a visit up to Scotland at some point in the next four years.
Ellie, Auchenshuggle, Glasgow.
(Puppy madwife)

powersplace said...

I'm sorry about Elizabeth! Right after you blogged that you thought she probaly wasn't "In the Womb: Puppies" came on...Mike and I just looked at each other after it seemed you might not be out of the woods! Can you ship a pup back to the states for Charlie??

splodge said...

Just an idea. You should look into selling the puppies.

If you have any proper details on the ancestry of both dogs, people pay a LOT of money for thoroughbred Cocker Spaniels.