Sunday, March 6, 2011

Round and Round We Go

If you spin yourself around long enough an fast enough eventually you will get dizzy and possibly sick. Right now I am dizzy from parenting; on the verge of being sick. I feel like I keep fighting the same battles over and over again. Sometimes there is a great success in the household (like when KiKi started wiping her own bottom- nearly thew a ticker tape parade for that one) only to be followed by an "Oh my goodness are you kidding me" string of events.

Lately, bedtime has been a theatrical event at my house. LaLa has never been a great sleeper even at the best of times. She has always been the one to wander out of bed, make requests, stall...stall... stall. KiKi on the other hand if sufficiently worn out goes to sleep very quickly. Lately, LaLa's sleeping habits have been rubbing off on KiKi and bedtimes have gone from barely acceptable to a not so funny comedy of errors.

My evenings have gone from a couple of reminders that it is bedtime to evenings starting with reminders and escalating to shouting. I really hate shouting. I used to know exactly what to do to ensure a quick bedtime. The Wii was a wonderful bargaining chip. Right now revoking privileges doesn't work. The Wii has lost it's bargaining sway. I am struggling to find the girl's new "currency". So until I find my new bargaining chip, I guess we shall continue to go round and round. I just need to make sure I keep my head clear enough that I don't get sick.

12 comments:

Expat mum said...

Oooh. Need to nip this in the bud before it becomes the norm. (That's all I've got BTW).

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

All my babies are in heaven so I have no advice but you seem to be doing a splendid job!

kendrasue said...

Ugh I feel the same way. It seems like most days there are at least 2 yelling matches. And when i think I found his "currency" I find that when I threaten to take it away he is like, whatever. Good luck!

tarichuck said...

Ugh-doing the same merry-go-round w/my 3 yo right now. Luck to both of us that it ends soon.

That Janie Girl said...

That's some hard stuff right there. I can't remember what I did, my boys are so old.

I bet you're doing the right thing.

mhorn said...

Just be firm and consistent... remember, they are just testing your limits.

PippaD said...

Kids love testing us don't they? I am sure you will find your balance again soon... until then just remember and repeat as often as needed;

"I love my children, all this hassle is helping me lose weight and get a firm bum."

midlifesinglemum said...

DD is going to bed late as well - maybe it's the spring air giving her more energy? I resolved to set the alarm an hour earlier and waker her up - hoping to gain an hour at the end of the day. So far I haven't managed to actually get up and do it, rather I turn over and go back to sleep. Then we both get up late because the alarm's no longer set. Note to self - think again.

unmitigated me said...

Start telling them that tomorrow, you will be putting them to bed an hour earlier. If they protest, say it's because they enjoy playing this "game" with Mum, which is fine, and their choice, but children need their sleep, so the "game" must begin an hour earlier.

Then? DO IT. Only works if you back it up.

unmitigated me said...

Jim Fay, "Parenting with Love and Logic." Precious as GOLD.

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Heather and Joe said...

My daughter's pediatrician said to me when I complained to him about my daughter not sleeping "You wouldn't try to make an adult sleep if they weren't tired. This is no different." I finally changed the rules for bedtime and there's no more struggle. Routine is: Homework immediately after school. Then outside play/inside play/ or physical movement of some sort (sometimes at the mall). 5 to 6 pm dinner, chatting about the best parts of the day and dishes (she helps with dishes). After that she gets ready for tomorrow, she lays out her clothes for tomorrow, packs her backpack, puts the dry parts of her lunch in her lunchbag, shower/bathes, and brings dirty clothes to the wash machine. 7 pm begins quiet time. This is her time completely. The rule is that after 7 it must be quiet and she must be solo doing whatever she likes. She can read, play Nintendo DS, play dolls, rearrange her closet, whatever as long as she's quiet. Some nights we read stories together as a family or watch a kid movie. We always kiss her goodnight and tell her we love her before she goes off to her room. I check in on her at 9 and she's usually out cold, although not always in her bed. She hasn't lasted past 9:30 pm. I think the difference is that she now makes so many more choices for herself (clothes, lunch, backpack items) that she feels she has so much more control over her situation. We started at age five and she does this as a matter of course now, no struggle. Chores help a lot. In the morning before school she feeds and waters the dogs, gets herself dressed, and puts the cold parts in her lunch. She is too busy with her responsibilities to have control issues. You need them to help you. They understand that.