Friday, January 16, 2009

AHEM!

Ahem! Attention please. Just a few things I need to get off my chest.

-Don't drop your kid off at school looking like a hooker. 4 inch heeled hooker boots, fish net stockings, and a mini skirt so short I can almost see your butt cheeks are not something I want to look at first thing in the morning.

-When driving please stay on your side of the road and don't try to take your half out of the middle. I have a fairly large SUV and will take your shoe on wheels out. I promise you that.

-When you are parking your 4 cars outside your house, make sure I have enough room to get one of my two cars out of my driveway.

-Taking up two parking spaces. Unacceptable. Back up and try again.

That is all. Carry on. It was a rough morning ya'll.

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Awarded!! I got an award from Honeywine! It is called the Honest Scrap award and I have to tell you 10 honest things about myself.

1. I hate mustard.

2. I hate chunky peanut butter. I accidentally bought chunky last time and now I am stuck eating it til it is gone cause I refuse to be wasteful.

3. I wish I had a UK spec'd car.

4. I don't always think I am an awesome mom, but I try really hard.

5. I like it when my husband works overnight because I get the whole bed to myself.

6. Sometimes I have to take a sleeping pill like Simply Sleep to get to sleep quickly if my husband isn't home because I start hearing weird noises in the house that I know logically are nothing, but in my head they are ghosts.

7. I believe in ghosts.

8. My mom is my best friend. Even when she pisses me off. Thankfully more often than not she doesn't piss me off. Oh and I need to find that picture of her at her high school reunion and post it cause it is hilarious. 1989 was not a good year for fashion my friends.

9. If I don't know if something is gonna piss of my mom or not, I call my dad and run it by him at work.

10. If I don't know if something is gonna piss of my parents in general, I call my brother and run it by him. The last time I did this is when I found out I was pregnant with LaLa. He told me to wait until I had moved to Missouri before I told my mom cause she couldn't kill me from long distance.

Now I got to tag some people!

Jess at This Life is Mine
Lola at Sassy Mama Says.
Michael at The BadassGeek
Cape Cod Gal at Diamond in the Rough

All these people are incredibly great and brutally honest. Take some time to check them out.

25 comments:

rachael said...

Well glad you got that off your chest, I must agree with all points.

No wonder your eyes were assulted, fishnet stockings? Do they make them for kids? Why?

Yaya said...

Haha-hooker mom...why do ppl DO that??




(lol shoulder pads......)

Kat said...

rachael-the mom was wearing them. I wouldn't be surprised if she could find them for her kids too though!

Badass Geek said...

I hate mustard, too.

Thanks for the award!

Auntie A said...

Having the whole bed to yourself, now that is a great thing!!! Mustard, only on a pastrami & provolone on toasted rye, that's all.
xoxo

colepack said...

Interesting day for you. Glad to know people driving as just as stupid over there as here. I am working on a driving post as well.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Thank you sweetie!!! Yes I am honest and I honestly apologize for the heels, fishnets and mini skirt! :)

Jess said...

Well hot damn! Whoooodie whoo! Thanks!! :)

Reinvent Dad said...

I agree about the girl clothes....what are the designers thinking? I appreciate the honesty and especially like the bed to yourself one.......

Myshka said...

Hey, you know the close-talker? You should run her over in your big SUV. That'll end the conversation. I'm just sayin'.

honeywine said...

That is brutal honesty. Down with chunky peanut butter and it's hold on...uummm...chunky people? lol :) Please tell me the hooker was an officer's wife. lol

Momo Fali said...

Simply Sleep keeps me awake! I am such a weirdo. I have a couple of boxes in my medicine cabinet gathering dust.

Captain Dumbass said...

Can I see the hooker mom? None of the mom's in my son's class trick it up in the morning. Sheesh. What's wrong with a little effort?

What? No, I haven't showered or shaved yet. Why?

Mariah said...

Seriously, hogging up two spaces has got to stop!!

Heather said...

I totally dress like a hooker when I drop my daughter off at school, how else am I supposed to advertise?

Ali said...

oh my god...there are so many hooker moms at my kids' school!

Michelle said...

I love sleeping alone and I believe in ghosts too!

Lola said...

Thanks so much for the award, girl!!

Wearing fishnets to school is just WRONG! Like Rachael, I thought you were talking about the kid. Still wrong, though.

You're the second person this week talking about this Simply Sleep thing. I've never seen it, but I think I'm gonna find it.

Jen said...

I hope it gets better and i love the list. Its good to get to know you better.

for a different kind of girl said...

All we can do is try in this whole motherhood racket, so kudos for that! I'm also with you on the sleep aid and the happy little joy of getting the whole bed to yourself. I sleep a little better with those two things in combination!

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

I love your tone, we sound like we are driving in the same school line, some children's parents, UGH!

steenky bee said...

I, too, believe in ghosts, but not in chunky peanut butter. It just shouldn't be that way.

Although I agre with you on the innapropriate hooker dropper her kids off at school, I must say that even prostitutes' children deserve an education.

I've never owned fishnet stockings, so I promise it wasn't me. Also, I'm still in the states. Sigh.

Heinous said...

Say, that award looks mighty fine on you. Even if you don't like chunky. I try to park close enough to the driver side door that they have to get in the passenger side if I get the chance when they take up two spots.

bibliomom said...

See when I first read this I thought that the KID was dressed looking like a hooker and I wished I had read it before dropping my daughter off. Then when I realized that it was the MOM that was dressed like a hooker I felt much better about letting my 8 year old wear fishnets to school ;)

I like mustard so much I once named a cat Mustard. Useless info you really didn't need.

splodge said...

Yum to mustard and yum to chunky peanut butter - just not at the same time.