Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Sigh Of Relief

When I first got here, Elizabeth, my dog was living with Domino and her family until we had a house because the hotel on base was not pet friendly. Domino also has another Cocker Spaniel named Jack Jack. He is a cute little guy. Elizabeth and Jack are old friends because Elizabeth used to be Domino's dog as well. Anyways, to the story. We are now letting out a collective sigh of relief because Elizabeth is NOT pregnant.

Domino called me when we were living at the base hotel and told me that there was a good chance that I was going to be a Grandmother. To which I was completely shocked because A) I am way too young for all that mess and B) My girls are only 5 years old and 2 years old, it is an impossibility. She then clarified and told me that Jack Jack had apparently played K-fed to Elizabeth's Britney.

Elizabeth had gone into heat a few days after she arrived at Domino's house and while we had been extra careful to not let them "hook up" we were foiled by Elizabeth's triflin' ways. She had a diaper like thing on her, so that A) she wouldn't get her nastiness everywhere and B) so that Jack Jack couldn't get her. Well the brazen hussy somehow managed to rub against every surface possible and slide that diaper off while nobody was looking. Sometime that evening, Domino's 9 year old girl came running downstairs and informed her that "The dogs are stuck together on my bed". Ewwww.

It has now been over a month and Elizabeth has not got any bigger. I feel safe to say that she is most likely NOT pregnant. Thank God! Although it might have been great blog fodder if she had been, this is not a good time to add puppies into the mix of the chaos that is the bunglow.

24 comments:

powersplace said...

I don't know what to say other than she needs the snip!! Wrap it before you tap it and all of that! LOL! Congrats on no puppies!

colepack said...

Like being at the zoo and trying to explain what the monkeys are doing.....

kel said...

That was a close call!

The Stiletto Mom said...

That bitch is a tramp. :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL! That's a great story!!

And thanks for the big, fat, FIB to me today!!!! It's greatly appreciated! =)

Throwing Stones said...

Hi Kat, I enjoyed reading your comments over at DD2's blog so i came to visit you here.
I've enjoyed reading yours as well.Stay well and happy New year.

Dr Zibbs said...

Good one.

splodge said...

Phew! Little strumpet!

Irish Gumbo said...

Perhaps Domino should have told ner daughter that "The dog on the bottom is sick, and the one on the top is pushing it to the hospital!"

Lust, er LOVE will find a way, it seems.

Captain Dumbass said...

"Love is in the air,
Everywhere I look around..."

It must have been his accent.

Sus said...

Oooh that slut!

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Phew sounds like you had a lucky escape. BTW has anyone told you Pet Insurance is an absolute must in the UK. The first time you get an uninsured vets bill, y'all know why we all consider it essential. If you haven't done so already checkout out Pet Plan!

Yaya said...

Hahahahaha! "Stuck together"!!!!!!!!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

I didn't even know they made doggy chastidy belts...how funny is that! Puppies would be awesome...but a lot of work. You could get a great blog or two out of them for sure! hmmmm I wonder if they have one of those "baby count down" gizmos for your dog!

Sprite's Keeper said...

My dogs get stuck together sometimes too and they're both fixed. I still worry...

Cape Cod Gal said...

Whew! That was a close one! Elizabeth is such a harlot!

Tismee2 said...

Awww I love puppies!

Don't you think Jack and Elizabeth have a bit of a 'Pirates' ring to it?

I agree with the Pet Plan advice. I got stung for over £800 for a 'tummy upset' one Easter!

Michelle said...

If you ended up with cocker spaniel puppies I would totally take one! I had a cocker growing up and I would really like another!

powersplace said...

PS Mike wants me to say hello, but I think he is secretly pining away for his lost love. Nevermind it isn't secret he said and I quote, "Tell her I want to hear from my Air Supply singing stud of a man and that he misses singing back up lyrics for him." Hmmm...

Jamie said...

Puppy Love? Nope.

Puppy Lust is more like it.

for a different kind of girl said...

I suppose her next move is to shave all her fur off and go into rehab, yeah?

Cat said...

Don't be too sure of yourself. Seriously. Watch her nipples.

Mama Dawg said...

I love how your kid explained what they were doing.

Lola said...

Sorry to say that you might not be out of the woods yet ;(

Hopefully, Jack is impotent, but if not, I'm ready for another puppy if you can Fed-Ex me a male.