3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown: GAH! Make It STOP!

Friday, December 18, 2009

GAH! Make It STOP!

"Mom, if I eat too many of these chicken nuggets I will get really FAT!" LaLa announced to me at dinner tonight.

It took a minute for me to digest this statement in my head. My "nearly six" year old daughter thinks she will get fat if she eats her dinner. My daughter, who is so slight, so thin, thinks she will get fat. My daughter who is ONLY "nearly six" thinks about body issues. MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!!

"Honey, if you eat what you are supposed to eat you will be healthy," is the only thing I can come up with at the time. "You don't have to worry about being fat," I say reassuringly.

"Yeah, I don't want to be fat!"

My heart dies a bit inside. Yes, I don't want her to ever be fat either, but she shouldn't worry about this stuff, not when she is "nearly six". I have struggled with my weight since adolescence. I know how cruel kids can be. However, I have taken care not to ever bring my issues up in front of my daughter. I don't call myself fat in front of her, not even jokingly. In fact, I just don't use the "F" word ever. Fat just isn't in my vocabulary.

"Please don't worry about this. You just eat whatever you like, you're not fat. In fact, you are quite thin, but you don't want to be too skinny. Just please, don't worry about these things,"

"Yeah, I don't want to be too skinny or too fat. I want to be just right! When will I be just right? When I am older??"

"Baby, you are already perfect just the way you are."

She is my perfect "nearly six" year old.

Comments (31)

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Petra · 798 weeks ago

I worry about this too, having struggled with weight myself. My daughter is also tiny at 3 1/2 and thankfully hasn't started with the fat talk yet, although does point out "fat" people out in public. But she doesn't say it like it's a bad thing, just matter of fact. I try to explain that it is rude to blurt out that people are "anything" in public. She also likes to slap my butt when I am naked and watch my cellulite jiggle. Sigh. Not sure what that means yet. I guess we will see...

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@STRONGFathersME · 798 weeks ago

My wife and I both have struggled our whole lives with our size. It is something that even as a boy I remember being aware of, cause everyone from doctors to family made me notice it. We try really hard to be positive and, most importantly healthy in our relationship to food with our kids. And, so far so good, but man, there are times when we have had that same kind of conversation. It kind of comes out of nowhere, doesn't it? Sounds like you had great responses.
-Brian

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Captain Dumbass · 798 weeks ago

Freakedy freak freak! I don't even know what to say to that.

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Mango Girl · 798 weeks ago

It is truly sad what our society is portraying to children.

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Blogging Mama Andrea · 798 weeks ago

That's tough when at that age she's already worrying about this. Yeah, the media doesn't project a twisted image of self to girls, not at all {enter seriously sarcastic voice}

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Margaret · 798 weeks ago

You handled it great! It is sad though that at 6 she is already worried about weight. What is this world coming too. We can't even let little girls be little anymore!

Good job though.

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jay · 798 weeks ago

Holy shit. Things like that make me thankful for having two boys. And yet, with this shitty society, I know they're not completely out the water.

Sounds like you're already doing as much as you can to educate her, here's hoping she sees your sense.

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amy the bitchin wife · 798 weeks ago

You know what? I think that this is a UK thing.... My kids never worried about gaining weight nor referred to the bigger kids as "fat" when we lived in the US. Since we got here, they seem to have grown keenly aware of weight differences and throw around the word "fat" a lot. And my 7 y.o., who is so painfully skinny that I wince when my hand goes around his shoulders and I can feel the sharp knob of his shoulder joint worried to me a couple weeks ago "Mom, I don't want to eat another yorkshire pudding because I will TOTALLY get fat!"

I appreciate that the UK wants to educate the kids on how to eat correctly, but I have to assume that part of their process in teaching them is to tell them that "eating fatty foods will make you fat."

I think all you can do is what you ARE doing. She will always feel good about herself if YOU feel good about her. (except when she's a teen--they all feel terrible about themselves for something, right?)

1 reply · active 798 weeks ago

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lakeviewer · 798 weeks ago

We've passed on our neurosis to our children. Our attitude toward our food is not healthy.

Good for you for being conscious of your language, for supporting your child to have a good relationship with food.

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vodkamom · 798 weeks ago

oh. my. goodness.

I think you are PERFECT in how you handled it, but would totally keep listening to what she is saying. We had a little first grade last year who became bulimic. We'll chat about that.

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angelsandurchinsblog · 798 weeks ago

At the same age, my niece refused to wear a puffa-style coat because of the same 'it'll make me look fat' reason. We were all just ignored the comment, in the same way as if she'd reacted against the colour. She grew out of the coat (and never really liked it) and didn't mention the 'f' word again, but where does this early fear come from?

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ann's rants · 798 weeks ago

My heart is breaking a little. I agree with Ms. Vodka, you handled it great.

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otin · 797 weeks ago

As someone who has been over weight for 35 of my 44 years, this saddens me! Kids don't need to think like that!

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Irish Gumbo · 797 weeks ago

That was a grand slam save, Kat. Excellent way to keep it in perspective. (salute)

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SueAnn · 797 weeks ago

How sad is this? You responded very well by the way!! I have five granddaughters and they all obsess about their weight...we constantly tell them they are perfect just the way they are...but it does no good. Peer pressure is HUGE!! Their friends just don't eat most of the time to stay skinny!!! It is really a big problem!! Breaks my heart!
Hugs
SueAnn

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Mad Woman · 797 weeks ago

I think you gave some great answers. I try sooo hard not to bring up my own insecurities in front of my daughter, but I do make sure that she realises that I know I am currently not the healthiest I could be.

It's so hard nowadays to nurture good self image in our kids. Give her a big hug and tell her she's awesome. And then consider yourself awesome, cos you are!

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MomInHighHeels 20p · 797 weeks ago

Oh goodness, I feel you and I have a BOY. He's been weight conscious since he was about 4. And this from the child who weighed 4 lbs 14 oz at birth. He's slim, but has the "little kid belly" and constantly worries that he's getting "fat." WTH? We don't say anything about it, other to assure him that as long as eats healthy foods (which he loves) and exercises, he'll be fine and that it's more important to be healthy than thin. I can't imagine how difficult it would be if I had a girl.

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WeaselMomma · 797 weeks ago

Gah! is right! Why does it have to start so young?

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Aunt Juicebox · 797 weeks ago

My daughter has been worried about her weight since she was 7. She's sometimes been a little overweight, but not by much, and usually just before she was about to grow taller. You may not say the "F" word but I'm sure she hears it plenty from other people.

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Joanie M · 797 weeks ago

Good Lord! Kids start younger and younger with that stuff! Fortunately for my kids, they all took after their father with a good metabolism. My son is actually too thin and has trouble gaining weight! (he's 6'2" and about 150 lbs)

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Jenni · 797 weeks ago

OH that breaks my heart. Good answer, Momma.

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Elise · 797 weeks ago

You did a great job!
My daughter is 8.5 and has said the same thing.
We are so careful, and then they hear the distortion from others.
And keep her away from Wii Fit. That thing is evil.

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Nicole · 797 weeks ago

You did an awesome job. I hope when my time comes that my little girl asks me that I handle it just as good as you did :)

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Everyday Mom of 1 · 797 weeks ago

Isnt it sad that society has taken away the innocence that I remember possessing as a child. Now childrens heads are filled with all kinds of ridiculous thoughts . It really makes me sad

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lola · 797 weeks ago

Yikes! It's sad that kids so young start worrying about their weight. Having a boy, I'd like to feel safe from this, but I know better. My mother had a boy in her class that was already diagnosed as being anorexic and bulimic. He was in and out of the hospital and had to eat in the nurse's office every day so that she could make sure that he not only ate but didn't go throw it up immediately. He was in fourth grade.

You handled it perfectly.

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