Symptoms of a Man Cold

Men always seem to suffer worse than women when it comes to the common cold. It is called a Man Cold. Here are some tell tale signs of a Man Cold.

1. Laying in bed coughing dramatically for effect.
2. Tissue box in the bed for easy access.
3. Moaning.
4. No desire for a shower.
5. General bad attitude.
6. Leaving Facebook statuses that say you are sick and want your mom.
7. Body aches.
8. Low grade fever.
9. Sore throat that everyone needs to know about.
10. Insisting that you are going to die.
11. Insisting sore throat must have warped into strep throat.
12. Leaky faucet nose (sometimes stuffed with tissue to avoid having to wipe every 5 seconds).
13. Using TV as babysitter.
14. Sniffling and snorting.
15. Unattractive gigantic (possibly dangerous) sneezes that nearly make you wet your pants.

I, Kat, have a man cold. Didn't think it was possible and that I could never be as annoying as my husband a man when I was sick, but I am. Dammit. Now, could someone fly my mom over here to take care of me?