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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Captain's Random Tuesday

The Captain is one of my oldest bloggy friends and even though he was last minute with his last guest post I decided to call in a favor and see if he would be up to the challenge again. Well he said he was more than happy to do it. However, knowing his track record I also knew to remind him several times in order to get it done. Never one to disappoint he got me this lovely post in plenty of time. Thank you so much Captain Dumbass and tell Liam if he uses the Bungalow's potty to make sure he flushes. M & M's are in the pantry.

Hey 3 Bedroom fans. Nope, Kat's not back yet, today you're stuck with me. Hey! Hey! Hand off the mouse! Come on, it won't be that bad. Honest. Stick around, you'll have fun. Promise. Or you may never come back again and Kat may be asked to leave England, but I'm going to hope for the best.

Ok. Now usually when you ask somebody to do a guest post they actually write a post. I've got a little something different for you. Unless you're already familiar with Keely's Random Tuesdays, in which case, just skip ahead. For the uninitiated, Random Tuesday is a post to get rid of all the garbage your head has collected for the week and make people question your sanity. Or reassure them that they're not as bad off as they'd thought. It's almost a public service, really. Anyway, if you're still a little concerned, click on the button below and you can check out my alibi.


Ready? Here we go:

Fellas, I'm ready to get up and do my thing
I wanna get into it, man, you know
Like a, like a sex machine, man,
Movin' and doin' it, you know
Can I count it off?


We're in the worst economic crash since like, forever, right? What the hell is with the credit card companies? My wife received her latest bill yesterday and there was an insert which basically said, you know, credit limit-wise, we'll just leave it blank. Buy whatever you like! Love, MasterCard.

You know the taverns of olden days where they'd just throw hay on the floor and then shovel it out the next day like a barn? With two boys under six I'm thinking this may be the way to go.

Boys Don't Cry from The Cure just came up on iTunes. The 80's sure had some terrible album art.

Here's a question for all my American friends. That telephone thing where you hang up without saying goodbye. How do you know that the conversation is over? Yes, I know I'm generalizing and you don't all do it, but for those who do, how does it work? Do you get a lot of call backs? "Dude, dramatic finish but I wasn't done yet!"

You know why you do spring cleaning? It's because the spring sunshine shows you just how disgusting your house has become over the winter. No, it's not spring yet, but today was abnormally sunny. Remember the hay idea?

I was IM'ing with Kat today and she mentioned that my deadline for the guest post was tomorrow. (Work with me here, this conversation was a week ago) Then I freaked because I hadn't even started it and I left my last guest post until the last moment as well. Since I've become unemployed I've had some issues with time management. Kat was really nice about it though. Or at least that's what I thought until there was a knock at the door and two rather large Air Force security looking guys asked if I was me. (If I was me, heh heh) As they barged in I demanded to know what the hell they were doing since they were in Canada. I expected a little help from my wife but all she said was, not the face. Thanks, hon.

You should see my living room right now. Our couch is flipped forward and being held up with kitchen chairs. An old mattress I'd wanted to throw out but the kids decided was the greatest toy ever is folded over and lying in front of it. The cushions are being used to block the sides and to hold down the blanket "doors." The fort looks more like a WWII machine gun nest. I said you "should" see it, but you won't. You don't need proof of our white trashiness. Or, mixed Asian/White trash. Is there an Asian trash equivalent? I'll ask wife. Er, not that she'd know. Not the face. Right.

Alright, wasn't so bad, was it? Right about this part of the program I list the last ten songs that came up on my iPod or iTunes, so here we are:

1. No Doubt - Simple Kind Of Life
2. Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun
3. Warren Zevon - Poor Poor Pitiful Me
4. 54-40 - Baby Ran
5. The Mountain Goats - No Children
6. Mylene Farmer - Desenchantee
7. Coldplay - Warning Sign
8. The Police - Walking In Your Footsteps
9. All-American Rejects - Move Along
10. Feist - Mushaboom

PS. Anybody paying attention might be saying, hey, where's The Cure? You said it just came up on iTunes. True, it did, but was like an hour ago. I took a little break in there to read some other blogs. So bite it.

Have a nice day.


♥ Braja said...

Oh, that phone thing? So true. And drinking straight whisky. Who the hell does that??? Only in the movies..

Christine Gram said...

I would be pissed if someone just hung up without saying goodbye. Who does that? I guess I don't talk on the phone much.

I did "spring" cleaning yesterday. I didn't even know there was blue in this linoleum.

Anonymous said...

Good thought on the spring cleaning thing!

I always say bye when I hang up. It totally bothers me that some ppl don't!

wendysito said...

I swear I read 'uninitiated' as UN-INEBRIATED and went to go get a drink.

I've been gone for a few days, I didn't want to seem out of the loop.. or out of bourbon.

Badass Geek said...

Even new music these days has some pretty terrible album art. Nothing like the stuff made back in the 70's, like Zeppelin.

Auntie A said...

Hey Captain, so true about the rudeness of the whole hang up without ending the conversation properly.
Also for all you followers of the bungalow, today is the fantastic Kat's birthday, so happy birthday to the best niece in the whole world!!!!

Lola said...

Happy birthday, Kat!! Cool tunes, Captain. We've got the same fort set up in the play room right now. The kid can't get enough of sleeping in it.

Michele said...

I wish I had thought of the hay idea. Tell us how it goes. ;)

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I always say goodbye. I am a polite American.

I want to come play in your fort. Is there room for a 5'4" chubby mommy?

The Violent Femmes and the Police are two of my faves. Great random song list Captain!

Those are my random thoughts about your random thoughts. Great guest post and Happy Random Tuesday!

Wicked Step Mom said...

I am thinking of adopting the hay idea myself. I mean, it should help keep the glitter out of the carpet.

ChurchPunkMom said...

Bite it yourself, butt-wad.

I love Feist.

And dude, come make a fort at my house! Spread the interacial trashiness...

Jess said...

Good tunage! You pass the test, you are officially allowed to run the music at the next party! Run by and grab Kat on your way!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I feel a little dizzy after reading this...

Anonymous said...

Whenever my kids ask to make a fort I plan on spending the next day picking it up. It takes that long. Finally I had to tell them that it's a fort and it wasn't neccessary to have a game room and a second story.

Mama Dawg said...

I loved you right up until you had Coldplay on your iPod.

I don't know if we can ever get back to the love we shared after that admission.

Anonymous said...

I'm american and I'm pretty sure the hang up thing is just on tv...some shows do it all the time...pisses me off everytime I see it, but I've never seen anyone actually do it in real life haha

Anonymous said...

My eldest daughter comes over on the weekends and helps Panda make a Fortress of Ultimate White-Trashiness in her room. It's like a tent city in a bedroom.

Yeah, the hand-up-without-goodbye is a learned skill, you have to- click.

Momo Fali said...

The 80's had a lot of terrible stuff. Shoulder pads. Need I say more?

Captain Dumbass said...

Who is this guy? He sucks.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Whenever I read Warren Zevon's name anywhere I instinctivly yell out ZEVON...I have no idea why but I just woke the kid up from his nap. Damn my lack of self control! : )

SweetPeaSurry said...

That phone thing? Crimeny ... I have to say good-bye like 10 bleeding times. I finally get to the point where I just say, I'm hanging up now. Love you. Clickity click click click click. (insert profanity for slow hangups on my phone)

Excellent randomness, I think tuesday might be my new favorite blog day. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to do random yet though. :)


mo.stoneskin said...

"No Doubt"? Are you really a man?

And anyway, I can't believe you're over here without giving me a shout.

Good stuff with the couch, kids love that kinda thing.

"No Doubt"?!?!?!?!

Captain Dumbass said...

Mo, we'd definitely be having a beer if I was really there.

Ms. Salti said...

Love the guest post. And the phone thing... not all of us do it!

Keely said...

I used to work in a bar that served free peanuts and the patrons just threw the shells on the ground. At the end of every day we'd sweep em all up. Same concept as the hay, AND it polishes your hardwoods.

Heh. I said hard wood.

Michelle said...

I am always irritated when I see that. SAY GOODBYE BEFORE HANGING UP. Geeze, it's common courtesy!

Cape Cod Gal said...

Mastercard never sends me that stuff. I think they know better :)

Unknown said...

Excellent music choices! And I say goodbye every time I hang up the phone. Well, unless I'm pissed at the person I'm speaking with.

SSP said...

yeah, but then there is a big pile of dirty hay outside the door that you keep tracking back IN!? And I hafta say, even the bad art I miss...Album art just ain't the same on a CD case! Thanks for sending me over here captain dumbass!

Anonymous said...

Okay Captain you are certifiable but I guess you already knew that!!!

Casey said...

Who the hell hangs up without saying goodbye?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, can't stop, got to get my feather duster out - sun's shining through the window, dust particles hanging in the air.

Unknown said...

Me too I hate when people don't say goodbye before they hang up. Works on tv only! It happened to me a few times and i called back on purpose saying 'I think we got cut off' and it embarrasses whoever did it!

The weather we had last week was very misleading. I got ready for my massive spring-clean/decluttering session, also tidied my storage unit and all that in vain as I still need all my winter stuff. Mind you the fact that it's still february should have been a pretty good indication. But I got excited and working at Big Yellow I met lots of customers as excited as me, starting to get their gardening gear out of storage and in went the skiing equipment!
Something tells me I will be seeing them again this week or next to proceed with the swap :-)
Anwyay, if anybody is interested in sorting their home out by decluttering it give us a shout, we're here to help!


blissfully caffeinated said...

That hay thing is a really good idea. Gonna look into that. And I never hang up without saying goodbye. Who are these Americans that you are chatting with?