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Friday, April 29, 2011

Dear So and So....Royal Wedding Edition

Dear Wills and Kate,

Or should I say HRH Prince William and Miss (well until 2 hours from now) Catherine Middleton? I wish you both the best of luck on this one of the most nerve wracking and precious days of your life. First of all, I hope you don't trip in front of the estimated 2 billion people who will be watching the broadcast of the wedding. That would be highly embarrassing, I don't recommend it. Second of all, I wish you love. Love each other. When times get tough love each other. It won't cure all, but it will make the bad things more bearable.

Best of Luck, Kat

Dear Readers,

Ok, you might not be "into" the Royal Wedding, but I am sucked in...a bit. I am pretty sure it is on the fine print of the visa that allows me to live here "must be curious about all things royal"...anyhoo. Yes, I am glued to the telly watching the wedding coverage (BBC of course). I hope you all at least peek in on the ceremony just to see what the dress looks like.

Love, Kat

Dear Victoria Beckham,

That hat? Really, that was the best hat you could come up with. A double helix strapped to your gourd? With all your money, that is the best you could do? Really? Really?

Shocked, Kat

Don't forget to link up!!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sugar and Spice? My Left Foot, Sugar and Spice.

I have now made LaLa leave the dinner table twice because of bad manners. My generally well behaved child has horrible table manners. It hasn't always been like this. She knows better. I guess I could blame it on her age, but I think it has more to do with the fact that other than her best girl friend, she likes to chum around with the boys at school. And boys think that burps are funny.

I don't. OK, if you can't help it, like if you have drank a fizzy drink, a little burp and an excuse me don't bother me at all. However, she has started doing ginormous earth shattering burps at the dinner table and then cackling in her chair like it is the funniest thing ever. At first I would just tell her "say excuse me", which then progressed to "that's gross, you need to say excuse me" to "that is really gross lala, if you do it again you're going to be in trouble" and now to "get up from the dinner table and go sit on your bed, I can't handle you being gross while I am eating". She is still cackling about it by the way. It doesn't seem to faze her that she is getting in trouble.

This behavior is also rubbing off on KiKi of course, because LaLa is her hero. She also however says sorry when I give her the "I'm very cross" look, so there is hope still to nip this one in the bud. I am just at a loss as to what to do with LaLa now. What would your next move be? I thought little girls were supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, not hot gas and apparently amazing abdominal strength.

Monday, April 25, 2011

White Lies

As my oldest daughter, LaLa, was opening her Easter basket, she looked up at me with a deep level of concern on her face. This is not a new happening at my house. She questions everything. This kid is quite smart and you can rarely get anything past her. She held up a plastic baggie containing malted milk chocolate Easter egg candy, inspected it again, and then asked "Does the Easter Bunny have Ziploc bags?"

"Of course he does honey!"

For the record, the Easter Bunny also doesn't believe in using plastic grass in the baskets, or putting hard boiled eggs in the basket (who wastes perfectly good eggs that could be used for egg mayo (egg salad) sandwiches?), giving the kids more candy than they can eat in a couple of days or Peeps.

Are there any white lies you tell your kids about holiday critters or am I the only one?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Double Identity

My cat, Sam, he look so innocent. Don't believe him.

He's a murderer. A stone cold killer.

Last week we had a dead mouse in our yard. A week before that there was two bunnies and a bird of some sort. We have also had a pigeon meet his maker in our yard. This death was predated by several moles and a couple of mice.

I used to stand at my kitchen window, before Sam was released into the general population, and pretend that I was Snow White, looking at all the birds and bunnies out in my garden when I was doing the dishes. This doesn't happen anymore. My garden has become the killing fields for my cat.

Remember, just like Chuck Norris, Sam Kitty doesn't sleep, he waits.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Pose

As we were walking about Hampton Court Palace on Saturday I noticed that KiKi has acquired a specific pose that she uses in almost every photo taken of her.

Foot back (or up), hands to the sides flipped out at the wrist like she is wearing a dress.

She must think it is the way princesses pose.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

London Town

My mom told me not to lose my grandparents on the tube.

So, I didn't.

Q & A

This is a meme that my buddy Not Supermum has tagged me for. Let's see what you lot can find out about me today!

Which living person do you admire the most, and why?

This is an easy one. My Granny. She was a military wife just like me, only she had to deal with not having the modern technology that I did. She successfully raised two little girls (my mom and aunt) while my PaPa was off to war (Vietnam) and is one of the strongest people I know.

When were you the happiest?

I was the happiest I will ever be on my wedding day. I was surrounded by friends and family and marrying the most perfect man for me.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

10 grade in math class. I got my period early and didn't know it. I went to the chalk board at the front of the class to work out a problem given by the teacher with a big old red mark on my butt. I wanted to die that day.

Besides property, what is the most expensive thing you have bought?

My Jeep. I love my orange jeep. I actually went and made sure they had an orange Jeep before we bought it.

What is your most treasured possession?

My engagement ring.

Where would you like to live?

If I could move my entire family to England I would live here forever.

What is your favorite smell?

Cherry blossoms. Reminds me of growing up in Washington DC in the spring.

Who would you get to play you in a film of your life?

Sandra Bullock. I love her. Plus she is my husband's "freebie". Ya know if they met in a crowded bar and she wanted to ya know with him.."freebie"

What is your favorite book?

I have to choose one? OK, well my favorite book is "The Giving Tree". It makes me weep EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I read it to my kids.

What is your most unappealing habit?

I bite my nails. I don't even realize I am doing it.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

Oooo I would love to have a pirate costume.

What is your earliest memory?

I remember hiding behind the couch when I was about 2 years old because the Michael Jackson Thriller video came on and it scared me.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Trashy reality television. Seriously. I can sit down and watch a stupid reality show like Four Weddings and be happy as a lark. Here you thought I was all sophisticated! (ok even that made me laugh).

What do you owe your parents?

More than I could ever repay.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

I can't think of anyone. Honestly. I am generally a nice person.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My husband and daughters. They are my everything.

What does love feel like?

A warm ember of fire in the pit of your stomach.

What was the best kiss of your life?

The first kiss with my husband. I remember every detail. Of course I am not going to write about it here.

Which words or phrases do you overuse?

I knew I used the phrase "you've got to be kidding me" too much when my kids started parroting me.

What's the worst job you have done?

I did data entry at an accounting office. The actual job itself wasn't horrible, but the people I worked with were awful. Plus the office always smelled like cigarette smoke because of the chain smoking office manager. I am not a fan of indoor smoking.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

Absolutely nothing. The whole time space continuum might be ruined and then I might not be here. Scary thought.

What is the closest you have came to death?

When I was 8 years old I was in a horrible auto accident. The van my mother was driving was hit from behind when we were going down the interstate. That made the van spin out of control and then we hit another car and the van rolled. I was not wearing my seat belt because I was trying to lay down on the middle bench seat to take a nap (we were on a long road trip). I was thrown from the car. Actually thrown is a little too dramatic. When the van was rolling the windows all broke out. When the van was on it's side I went out one of the busted windows and the van continued to roll over me. I ended up with scraped knees and scared out of my wits. My mother was frantic when the crash stopped because I wasn't in the car. I was trying to crawl back into the car.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I finished University online. When I started I had a 2 year old and a 6 month old baby.

When did you cry last?

I honestly don't remember. I get scared and disappointed and angry, but I am not usually a crier.

How do you relax?

A glass of wine and a good book usually do the trick.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

This is a tossup between a dishwasher or a top loading extra capacity American style washer. I really hate dishes and laundry.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Laugh. Life isn't worth living if you don't have a bit of laughter in your life.

Time to do some tagging. I am going to tag....

Miss Cherry Red

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Friday, April 8, 2011

Dear So and So...Be Glad I Don't Swear Much on My Blog

Dear Witch,

Don't EVER comment on my parenting skills EVER again. If there hadn't been children present I would have cursed you out. It takes a lot for me to get to the point of swearing at ANYONE, but on Wednesday I was thisclose. The thing that really makes me angry is I have TRIED to be nice to you for the last 3 years even though I am not really a fan of yours. From now on, keep your opinion in your bossy helicopter parent mouth. Don't ever expect me to acknowledge you ever again. I'm done.


Dear People,

Take the above letter, change the first letter of witch to "b" and then add a few f-bombs in there to feel the true amount of rage.

If ya get my drift, Kat

Dear Readers,

I am off to Hampton Court Palace this weekend and I am incredibly excited. I hope you guys have a great weekend. If you have a letter please link up! I will try to read them as soon as I can! Now, you lot behave yourselves.

Love, Kat

Thursday, April 7, 2011

My Grandparents

These are my grandparents.

Granny and PaPa (well that is my brother in the middle. Ignore him. I do. Not really. Sometimes.)

You guys might recognize Granny as the one who often comments here. Yep, my Granny comments here. My PaPa has Facebook. They are very hip grandparents (and both their hips work). Guess what? They get here today!!!!

I am so over the moon excited. I can't wait to tote them all over East Anglia (and London for a day)(maybe Dover too). This will be PaPa's first time in England so I want to make sure he gets the whole experience. Granny has been here before, so I am trying to plan on doing things she hasn't done before. It is going to be one helluva time. Watch this space for Granny and PaPa updates!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Royal Wedding

I wasn't planning on doing a post about the royal wedding. Yes, I will probably watch it, from home. I have a couple of friends who are going to brave their way down to central London for the event. Can you tell that they are some of my American friends? My English friends wouldn't be caught dead schlepping down to London for the Royal Wedding. I have even heard some of my English friends comment that they won't be watching it on TV. Four day weekend. They will probably be stuck in a queue on the motorway instead. This seems to be the time honored way to spend any holiday in England.

I decided that yes, I will watch the wedding. I will probably also encourage my kids to watch. It isn't because I am a royalist. I am just an American who never in a million years thought that she would be living in England for an event like this. It is kind of cool to me. Though, it isn't cool enough to go down to London.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Saturday, April 2, 2011

My Cartwheel

So, I was talking to a few friends on Twitter, as one does, and out of my mouth (or fingers) I said that when I lost a stone I would do a cartwheel. Then someone said they wanted proof. Then it was decided that I needed to video the cartwheel. So....I did.

For the record, I did not do any practice cartwheels before hand. This is the one and only take of this video and no, I hadn't even had a sip of alcohol.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Dear So and So...This Is Probably a Bad Idea

I am back and it is Friday!! Thanks for sticking around while I had my little mini-mental vacation. Lets get some Dear So and So letters done!

Dear Everyone,

A couple of weeks ago I promised a few of my friends that if I lost a stone (14lbs) that I would do a cartwheel and video it and put it on my blog. Well, I lost a stone as of Tuesday. Now, I need to do a cartwheel and video it for everyone.

Here is my list of what could possibly go wrong:

1. My husband is out of town, again, and I am going to be reliant on a 4 year old and a 7 year old as my videographers. You might only see my feet.

2. I need to clear the back garden of land mines. Not the land mines that will blow off a limb, more like the land mines that Elizabeth so graciously leaves outside. Do I really need to explain this further?

3. I need to figure out a way to make sure I don't flash all my wobbly bits to the entire internet. This includes "the girls" (and I am not talking about my kids).

4. I am pretty sure that there is an age where God tells you not to put your ass above your head. I am not sure I have reached that age. Possible injuries include my pride and my back.

5. I am still overweight. See possible injuries in #4.

So, as we can see, this could be really good or reeeeaaaalllllly bad.

Love, Kat

Dear Sanctimonious Mommies,

Bite me.

Regards, Kat

Dear Readers,

If you have a letter, please link up!

Love Kat