Friday, December 31, 2010
Dear So and So...2010
Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
Happy New Year! I hope this coming year is way better than 2010.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
We're In For A Rude Awakening
To say that we have been sleeping in a little would be an understatement. We haven't been getting out of bed until the God awful entirely too early hour of nearly 10am for the last week. I haven't been setting my alarm clock and I don't get out of bed until one of my kids prods me if my alarm isn't set. KiKi has been getting up at her normal weekend time of about 8:30-9am. However, KiKi isn't a kid that will prod me to get out of bed. She prefers to play quietly in her room until I get out of bed (the child is an angel, seriously, doesn't get into things, just plays in her room). So, I sleep. Then I get a crack of daylight peeking through my blackout curtains and know that it is entirely too late in the morning to be sleeping. Let's face it folks, I live in England, if there is light coming through your curtains on a winter morning, it is well past 9am. Then I prod LaLa out of bed, with her moaning about how she is "exhausted" and needs "just a few more minutes" .
So what I am basically trying to say is....Tuesday, January 4th, when the kids go back to school, LaLa and I are going to be in a world of hurt at 7am when the alarm clock goes off. Who wants to bet we are late to school?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Things I Learned Over Christmas
1) It is impossible to keep the kids away from their stocking while their dad is in the loo.
2) Santa is goooooood.
3) Zhu-Zhu pets look like prey to Sam Kitty.
4) Bags are good hiding places.
5) Cooking for 16 people isn't all that bad. I might moan about it, but I secretly loved every minute of it PLUS it got me out of most of the house cleaning.
6) Ethan does smile every once in a while.
7) Kevin might be a pirate.
8) Friends are the family you choose.
(That's Robin and Debbie. They're pretty damn awesome.)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Dear So and So...Merry Christmas
I am about to leave my house here in a bit and go get eggs because I of course forgot eggs yesterday while I was at the store. Now, I need you lot to listen to me. There will be no, trolly road rage, elbows being thrown, no fighting over the last thawed out turkey, no smacking of each other with parsnips. You will actually allow me to walk to the eggs; actually if you would pretend you are the Red Sea and that I am Moses I wouldn't complain. Then I will pay for my eggs and be on my way. Sound good to you? Ok good!
I know it is Christmas eve, but would you please calm down just a tad? Mommy just woke up and needs massive amounts of caffeine in her system before she gets functional.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Be kind to one another.
If you have your own Dear So and So letter please link up!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
RTT- Wouldn't That Just Make a Mess?
The US astronauts took Tang (a powdered orange drink mix) on their flights in the 1960s. That must have been real hell to learn how to mix in no gravity. Could you imagine the mess? You open the can and a big orange dust cloud evelopes the entire cavity of the space craft. Wouldn't you hate to be that guy? "sorry guys, weightlessness, I thought I had it...I didn't get the water there in time....*shuffles feet* sorry. Well don't blame me, blame the person who thought bringing a powdered drink into space was a good idea. If you're gonna yell at anyone it really should be him. He should be sacked! But, yeah, sorry.". I mean it really, there must be like a half year long course just on "how to eat and drink in space so you don't screw up the equipment".
On Saturday I had 15 children and 7 adults in my house for LaLa's birthday party. I am still twitching.
It is so cold outside that Sam Kitty isn't even trying to escape the house. When I open the door to let him out he gives me a look that says "Yeah right, nice try there, human".
Four more sleeps til Christmas!!!
If you didn't get a Christmas card from me this year, then look here. Oh, and I haven't sent out Christmas cards so don't feel left out if you didn't get one.
I got woke up by KiKi puking in her bed at midnight. Good times. Hopefully, it was a one off deal.
Ok...well I feel better. That's enough random for one day.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Silent Sunday- My Christmas Card
Friday, December 17, 2010
Dear So and So...In the Words of Ren and Stimpy "Happy Happy Joy Joy"
My husband is coming home today!!!!!!!!!!(is that enough exclamation points? I think not)!!!!!!!! There is however a problem. My house needs to be cleaned, my daughters birthday party decorations need to be erected (hehehe erected) and yeah...I am losing my mind a bit! So, I am going to get off the computer now and be productive. If you see me around the Internet give me a good old swat to the arse and tell me to get back to work.
Love you guys,
PS- If you have a DSS letter, please link up!!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
What I Am Doing on Saturday
The cashier today raised her eyebrow at me today when I plopped the My Little Pony pinata up next to the till. Then with horror she said “Please don't tell me you are having a birthday party this close to Christmas!?!” Well, yes, actually I am. You see, my daughter didn't have the choice to plan her birthdate. As luck had it, she was born three days before Christmas. She is my lovely Christmas baby. Guess what? She also deserves to have a birthday party just as much as every other child on this planet and I refuse to short change her just because her birthday falls in a very busy and money strapped time of the year. So, yes, I am buying her a My Little Pony pinata for her party.
On Saturday my house will be filled to the gills with roughly 15 invited children and probably most of their parents. We will eat pizza, play party games, have the My Little Pony pinata stuffed with sweets, dance, and have cake. I am also baking the cake. My daughter will be deliriously happy. I might be certifiably insane by the end of the party. However, the strain of organizing a party near Christmas is a small price to pay for the smiles I will receive on Saturday. I think that is a very fair trade.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Baby It's Cold Outside- Clifford James Slipper Review
I received the slippers two days later. I was very impressed by the promptness in which they were dispatched. They were exactly what I wanted. Red bootie slippers with a sole hard enough that I could go outside to take the trash out without having to worry about changing into proper shoes. The soles also provided a non-slip surface, which is really nice on wooden floors. The warm faux fur lining in the slippers was also a nice feature.
I immediately slipped the new slippers off and I must admit I have rarely taken them off since I received them. I have even accidentally left the house in them. Twice. Yes, you will get weird stares when you do your weekly grocery shopping in slippers. It was an honest mistake though. They were so comfortable and the bottoms are waterproof so I didn't even realize what shoes I had on until I was halfway down the tinned veggie aisle. Oops.
The slippers provided to me by Clifford James were the Trinny Slippers for Ladies. They retail for £7.50, which I think is a great value for money. Clifford James has a wide variety of other slippers for both ladies and men. I think they would be a great presents during this holiday season.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Dear So and So...Ooooo You're my Best Friend
Dear Those in Car Parks,
Yes, I have had many gripes about parking areas in the years past. However, I must point out that if parking is in really close quarters you shouldn't open your door as fast as possible. My poor Jeep does not appreciate the paint transfer.
Just Pointing Out Common Courtesy, Kat
You kinda smell like Fritos. Maybe it is time for a bath?
Your Human Mama, Kat
Dear Sam Kitty,
Yes, it really is that cold outside. Yes, that is ice. Sorry for the inconvenience, Your Highness.
Love, That Woman Who Feeds You, Kat
As much as I am tickled pink that you are enamoured with math, really, I am, 10pm is not the time to be sneaking in in extra math exercises. You are more than welcome to do math problems when you get home, before school....well, basically anytime other than when you are supposed to be sleeping. Falling asleep in class is counter productive, trust me on this.
Dear Electric Company,
I swear all these lights that are on are not my fault. They are also not the fault of the shorter winter days. They are the fault of my 4 year old daughter who insists upon turning on the lights in every single room she enters. Bill her.
Fed Up, Kat
Please don't forget to link up your letters!!!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The Gallery- White
(Please click on the photo to get all the detail)
This is part of The Gallery hosted by Tara
Monday, December 6, 2010
1,2,3, Not It!
David Cameron: So who wants to bring up the BBC Panorama Fifa corruption charges? 1,2,3, Not It!
Price William: Not It!
David Beckham: Not It! Damn.
DB: Who wants to talk about the fact that we have some of the worlds finest football pitches already? 1,2,3, Not It!
DC: Not It!
PW: Not It! Damn.
PW: Who wants to expound on the fact that we will already have the infrastructure to support the hoards of crowds since we already are going to be hosting the Olympics in London in 2012? 1,2,3, Not It!
DB: Not It!
DC: Not It! Damn!
DB: Who is buying dinner tonight? 1,2,3, Not It!
DC: Not It!
PW: Not It! Damn.
DC: Oh come on Wills, it isn't like you can't afford it!
By the way, Russia will be hosting the World Cup in 2018. I guess their strategy didn't work.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Dear So and So...Yeah I Almost Forgot
I swear you can go to your friend's house on Monday. Enough with the waterworks.
Dear Ely Toy Shop,
Thank you for actually having what I needed in stock after I saw it a month ago. I might not have gotten exactly the roller skates that I wanted, but they will work and LaLa will have a VERY Merry Christmas because of them.
A Very Happy Customer, Kat
PS- I love you very good and personalized service. It is so rare these days.
I know it is cold outside and you are getting a bit run down by our hectic schedule, but right now is not the time to get sick. I can't be sick. I refuse to be sick, so you will just have to wait to collapse AFTER the New Year. K Thnx.
I Don't Have Time For This, Kat
Dear The Man,
I miss you. Dammit.
Dear Christmas Tree,
I am going to attempt to get you out of the loft in about 15 min. Please do not do the following: break, crash down, maim me, kill me, disfigure me, crush the dog, crush the cat. Thanks for your compliance.
Not Very Coordinated and Working Alone, Kat
If you have DSS letters please link up!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Gallery- Celebrations
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sam Kitty's Guide To Being A Cat
5am- Stick Nose in large sleeping humans face. Purr. Try to get stroked.
5:01 am- Purr louder. Rub head against sleeping human's face. Dodge sleeping humans flailing hand.
5:02 am- Make self comfortable between large sleeping humans legs. Make sure the human can no longer change position. Snuggle up close to maintain maximum warmth.
6:00 am- Refuse to move from between large humans legs. Act indignant when forcibly removed.
6:05 am- Find marble to play it with on the hardwood floors.
6:10am- Hide when large human gets out of bed to confiscate marble.
6:59am. Stick nose in large sleeping human's face right before that loud noise happens.
7am- Run! Loud noise!!
7:05am- Meow at backdoor til large human opens door.
7:06- do "business" in the shrubs; preferably near the rose bushes.
7:06:30- Run back inside.
7:07 am- Breakfast time! NOM NOM NOM!!!
7:30-8:30 am- Meow at backdoor. Keep meowing.
8:45 am- Watch door in order to trip large human as she escorts small humans out the door. Pray small humans never return.
8:46-9:15 Curl up next to warm boiler and sleep.
9:15- Give large human "the look of death" as she opens the backdoor and lets a draft into your nice warm sleeping area.
9:30-11 Meow at backdoor. Go outside and hunt. Come back only when it suits you.
11am- Meow to be let inside. Bat dog on nose as she sniffs you to welcome you, her conquering hero, home. Ignore human.
11:15- Lunch!!! NOM NOM NOM!!!
12 pm-3:15 Sleepy Time!!!!
3:15pm- Give large human a sneer as she opens door and lets in draft.
3:15-3:45 Sleepy Time!!!
3:45- Awww crap large human brought the small ones back. Damn.
3:45-5 Meow at backdoor. Time for more hunting.
5pm- Demand to be let back inside.
5pm-7pm Time to plot next hunting trip and demise of dog.
7pm-8:30pm- Sleep under warm radiator. It is muy beuno.
8:30pm- Lay on large humans rear end as she puts small human in bed.
8:45- Get mad at large human for moving back to couch.
8:45-10 Sleep under warm radiator. It is really nice. You need to try it.
10pm- Snuggle on large humans lap. She is really warm. Muy bueno!
11pm- Night night time with large human. Make sure to find the warmest spot on bed. Claim as your own.
And that my friends is how to be a successful cat.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Today we got our first real snow. A half inch of glorious white stuff. Of course I managed to accidentally set my alarm for 8am instead of 7am last night and instead of leisurely sipping my coffee and checking for school closing updates, I whipped off my duvet in a panic ran from room to room getting school uniforms onto my half asleep children whist checking Facebook to see if school was still on (it is the most reliable source round here), howling at the girls to eat their breakfasts, taking the dog outside so she didn't pee in the house, and de-icing the car so that I could get out the door ten minutes late. I forgot chasing the cat back inside because he is still doing that little trick of chasing my car as I am leaving the driveway. Stupid cat.
We made it to school on time- barely. It sure is Monday, a beautiful snowy Monday.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Dear So and So...Happy Day After Thanksgiving
Thank you to everyone who took time yesterday to Skype me, Twitter me, and Facebook me to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. It really meant a lot to know that I had people thinking about me. This Thanksgiving was especially hard because my husband was gone, my family is back in America and I was just honestly super duper lonely. I did go to a friends house for Thanksgiving dinner and that made things a bit more bearable.
So today I am going to eat my Thanksgiving leftovers, throw the paper plate in the bin and get on with normal life and look forward to Christmas. No more feeling down. My husband will be home soon and we will spend a very Merry Christmas together. Then we will celebrate a New Year and tell 2010 to kiss our backsides, since it hasn't been very kind to us.
So, thank you again for thinking about me, the girls and The Man on Thanksgiving. It meant more to me than you will probably ever know.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Dear So and So....This One's For LaLa
I understand that what you are wearing used to be a dress, but it shrank in the wash and is now so short that the only way you can wear it is as a shirt. I don't care if you are going to wear tights under it! If you bend over the bottom of the "dress" comes halfway up your bum and there is no way on earth I am letting you out of the house like that! So, go put on a pair of jeans under it and then you may wear it. Sorry, I know you are anti-jeans but it is just too damn bad.
Love, The Woman You Call Mum Who Won't Let You Out of the House Looking Like A Stripper
I don't know what your obsession with playing in the bathroom sink is about but you need to stop it. I have little bits of wet toilet paper stuck everywhere like spitballs and it is really ticking me off. Quit.
Love, That Woman You Call Mum Who is Constantly Yelling at You to Get Out of the Bathroom
I am so proud of you! Well done on the class award for Maths. You are so smart!
I would like to get out of the house on time this morning so please turn off the Wii and put your shoes on like I have told you 50 million times.
If you have a Dear So and So...post that you would like to link up, please do.
Weekend Safety Briefing: Have Fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Conversations With LaLa...again
LaLa: Hey Mom, how does water get into the pipes to come out the taps?
Me:*thinks for a minute and mentally cusses question* Well the water comes from streams and lakes and the sea and it goes to water treatment plants where they filter it and clean it...
LaLa: So they kinda add Finish* to the water to make it clean then?
Me: ....ummm we'll go with that...
*Americans call it JetDry
Friday, November 12, 2010
Dear So and So....I Can't Come Up With a Witty Title
Dear Eastern European Girl at Taco Bell,
I am so so so sorry that when you were asking for my receipt so that you could check that you had everything for my order that I thought you were saying recipe. Yes, I did think it was strange that you were asking for my recipe considering you and your team were the ones who were supposed to be doing the cooking. It is also really embarrassing because my minor at University was Russian Studies and I should very well be able to understand an eastern European accent. Maybe if you weren't speaking so quietly?
Thoroughly Embarrassed, Kat
Dear Sam Kitty,
This thing you do where you try to chase my car down when I am leaving the house like a dog when you are outside in the driveway has got to end. I am already paranoid enough about you getting hit by a car, but I don't think I could handle it if I was the one to run you over. Please use a bit of kitty common sense and stay away from moving cars.
Love, Your Human Mama
Dear Ghost in My House,
I hope that was you up in the loft last night and not mice. I think I can handle a haunting much easier than mice.
Please be a ghost, Kat
Dear Mother Nature,
Enough with the wind, alright?
Gone With the Wind, Kat
Dear House Elves,
Are you the ones keeping LaLa's room clean or is the star chart actually working? I am confused by the clean state of her room.
If you have lovely letters that you wished you could send please link up below!
Weekend Safety Briefing: Don't drink and drive, if you keep making that face it will freeze like that, don't talk to strangers, don't take candy from strangers, don't help strangers look for their lost dog, if you kill each other do it outside, you better pray that comes out of the carpet, make sure you wear clean underwear, shut the door- you weren't raised in a barn, act your age and dammit eat your vegetables.
Love Always, Kat
Thursday, November 11, 2010
As many Americans take this Veteran’s Day off from work, I want to remind all Americans of the importance of this day. It may be a well deserved break from the daily requirements of your job, but it serves a much higher purpose. As Americans, we live and breathe the freedom that many take for granted. This liberty that we all value has come at a steep price for many families and generations of Americans. We have persevered as a nation on the backs of ordinary men and women that have made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation. From our nation’s “War of Independence” to the battles in Afghanistan and Iraq today, thousands of our military’s greatest have paid the ultimate sacrifice. Our nation’s “finest” have continually fought for America’s freedom through the generations. People who values consist of God, nation, family, integrity, and service before self. People who consistently bear the awesome task of defending America. People who put individual desires to the side for the good of all Americans. These are the people who should be remembered on this holiday. America is the greatest nation on earth because of these people who sacrifice to defend freedom and liberty. As you go about your day, please take a moment to reflect and remember the lives of “America’s Finest,” who gave it all to make our nation what is it today.
Photo credit: U.S. Census Bureau
Monday, November 8, 2010
So, I sat down Saturday night after I had already confiscated her Wii (to her sheer horror) and redefined each chore with her and added "good attitude" and "no backtalk" to the list to try to tackle her behavior problems. It worked like a charm Sunday. She did all her chores- cleaning her room, removing her toys from the living room, bringing her clothes to the dirty clothes bin, brushed her teeth, made her bed and even did well with not back talking and having a good attitude. I was seriously impressed by her effort.
Then tonight at dinner the conversation ensued.
LaLa- "Mom what exactly is back talk?"
Me- "Well, it is when I ask you to do something and you tell me "no" or "I don't wanna" or are disrespectful back to me"
La- "So if I tell you no that I am not going to do something I don't get my star?"
La- "But, if I say yes and do it I get my star?"
La- "But if I say Ok and then later say no and don't do it, then I don't get one, right?"
La- "But if I say no and then do it I get it?"
La- "cause I did it"
Me- "I guess"
I can see it now, she is finding loopholes. It is kind of like Bill Clinton defining the word sex.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Words of Wisdom From The Man
Talking about how LaLa is growing up too fast:
The Man: yeah i know...lala is getting big and old lol
Kat: we should trade her in ;)
The Man: not in a million years...ask me that again though once i have to deal with periods, social status, and boys' penises
Kat : ROFL
Talking about how we talk more when he is gone:
The Man: u know what is weird?
The Man: we actually talk more when i aint around
Kat: yeah cause you actually have TIME
Kat: and aren't asleep
The Man: true
The Man: dont hate the airman..hate the game lol
Words of wisdom to live by.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Dear So and So....Back With a Vengence
Dear Bin Men (garbage men, whatever you want to be called),
You were just having a laugh the other day when you dumped my recycle bin and then just casually placed it smack dab in the middle of my driveway weren't you. You're lucky I was for once paying attention and didn't hit it. Can you imagine the type of wheelie bin carnage that could have ensued? Scenario 1= I hit the bin it flies across the road into the farmers field where I have to then wade through weeds and mud to retrieve the bin. Scenario 2- I hit the bin, it goes into the 50 mph road in front of my house then gets broadsided by a passing car. This could a) destroy my bin b) wreck someones car c) kill those in the car. So, Mr. Bin Men, please put the bins to the side of my driveway and NOT smack in the middle of it from now on. Got it?
Would rather not cause carnage with a wheelie bin, Kat
Dear People Who Park On Double Yellows,
It's illegal, A-hole.
Got it?, Kat
Dear LaLa and KiKi,
Can we please skip the right before we leave out the door for school dramatics. Just put your coat on, grab your book bag and get your little behinds out the door. I don't care if she has your toy, or your book or your blah blah blah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah...Oh wait, what? You started to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher there for a minute. Yeah, I don't care what the other did to you let's go.
Lovingly Yours, Mom
Dear Radio 2,
I heard a Christmas song two days ago. Too soon!!
Dear House Elves,
You're fired. My dishes aren't done, the laundry isn't done. What? Your mythical?....
Please jump on the Dear So and So train. I will be posing a new DSS each Friday with a linky. Please join in when you have a chance.
Weekend Safety Briefing: Don't drink and drive, don't talk back, don't run with scissors, super glue is not for children, don't give me that look, if you make that face it will stick, if your friends jumped off a bridge- don't, always ask for directions, make sure you have enough gas in the car before you embark upon your journey, make sure your tires are properly inflated and for goodness sake don't make me come back there!!
Have a good weekend, Kat
Thursday, November 4, 2010
CyberMummy 2011 Meet and Greet
Last year Mummysshoes.com had the great idea to put together a little who's who on her blog. This way we kind of had an idea who each other were, since many of us had never met in person. Here is my entry for this years Meet and Greet.
Name: Kat- also answers to "hey you" "3bedroom" or "dude"
Blog: http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com (of course you already know that if you are reading this on my blog)
Twitter ID: @3bedroom
Hair- Brown for now. Most often found in a ponytail or bun since I can't be bothered to pull out my hair dryer most mornings.
Eyes- Green (see, I am not full of crap like people think)( If I was my eyes would be brown)(no offense to people with brown eyes)(My husband and kids have brown eyes)(I love brown eyes).
Likes- Encased meat (sausages, hot dogs (no I don't want to know what is in them thank you very much), bratwurst...), traveling, pretty things, chatter, Macs, technology in general, Peppa Pig, Star Wars (but I don't dress up or anything), people who are just as crazy as me.
Dislikes- People who complain or create drama, housework, sprouts, Captain Mack (it's a kids show in the UK), flat tires, people who fail to use indicators when making turns or on roundabouts.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
To my fellow Americans: I don't care if you are a Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green Party, Libertarian, Tea Party, or The Rent Is Too Damn High Party (yes, it is a real party), we ALL need to get our heads out of our collective asses and get some work done to put ALL Americans back to work. For once we need to listen to each other, make tough decisions that may not go down party lines and just do the right thing. Word?
Now the song that had LaLa clapping and singing in the backseat.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Let it Be
Me- Daddy is leaving again for a while. Don't worry he will be back before Christmas.
KiKi- Is he going to school?
Me- Yep. He'll be in Germany for school! (tries to sound excited)
KiKi- Will his friends be there?
Me- Yep. He will have some of his friends there.
Needless to say the four year old was a little more understanding when told that The Man will be leaving again for work purposes. I on the other hand threw a tantrum a two year old would have been proud to claim. Usually I am the picture of a stoic military wife, on Thursday when I found out we had four days to alter our plans for the holiday season (he won't be here for Thanksgiving) I lost the plot. Don't worry. It only took me 45 minutes to gather myself and put back on my stoic face. What else can I do? I love my husband.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Shiny New Blog
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My Own Florence Nightingale
Recently, she did a report on Florence Nightingale. This is how she has formed her opinion of nurses. Now, she has pretty much turned her bedroom into a Crimean War field hospital. She has taken to wearing long dresses with shirts tied around the waist as an apron. Barbies are her patients. They are laid out on her bed, like a gigantic ward floor, side to side with blankets covering them up to their necks. I half expect to go into her room and find her doing amputations with Chloroform as the anaesthetic and giving Laudanum for pain.
Also, I am pretty sure she thinks she is British.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Distance Between Us
During the happy times however, distance is horrible. It is the gap that I can not overcome. It is seeing weddings of cousins through Facebook. It is learning about the birth of a new baby through an email. I want to be there. I want to dance at the wedding and hold that sweet baby. I can't. I will miss it all.
Technology may keep me connected to those I love, but it can never make up for being there.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Just So You Know Those Adverts are Crap!
The past two days she has just had this really violent cough that she just can't seem to shake. Despite the cough medicines I have given her orally, there is really no change. Mind you, it doesn't sound like it is deep in her chest, more at the back of her throat. It doesn't really bother her until bedtime and then it kicks in so bad that she can barely catch her breath. So, I decided to use what any good mom in the western hemisphere would use, good ol' Vicks Vapor Rub.
Let me for the record say that this ad is crap.
There is no gently smoothing the jelly-like substance across your child's chest. It is more like you have to hog tie or pin your child to the mattress and in the two seconds that your child's chest is actually exposed, rub on a bunch of menthol smelling goo. Meanwhile, they are screaming at the top of their lungs like they are being gutted (yes, really, that much fun).
I see no part in the ad that says I may or may not have to use rope in order to apply this product. However, I will concede defeat because, dammit, Vicks actually worked to stop her coughing.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
As Elton John sang, "The Circle of Life"
So, as I was saying, Sam Kitty is now free as a bird now. Also, eating birds...and mice. Actually, I don't think he eats them all since he has now brought me 3 mice and a bird as sacrifices. I tried to explain to him, as a household of Christians we don't require blood sacrifices, but you know how it is with cats, in one ear out the other. Instead he has continued to play Grim Reaper to the mouse and bird population. Then I took the approach of accepting that cats eat mice, even The Farmer in the Dell* says so (you didn't know that takes means eat, did you?). So with resignation I let him continue to play Jason Voorhees in my backyard.
That was until Sunday afternoon. The day that will live in infamy (other than when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, cause that was really bad too). He puked mouse guts up on my utility room carpet. Oh Lord in Heaven help me! It smelled really really bad and I had to clean it up. Needless to say I almost made a matching stain on the carpet. Now, I am dead set against him exercising the circle of life in my backyard. I however am not willing to confine him to the house.
Flash forward to Tuesday afternoon. I am minding my own business doing the dishes and peering outside the window in front of me to the backyard. I see Sam Kitty, bringer of death, outside acting suspicious. I say out loud to nobody in particular, "Oh no! What's he got now?!" and he freezes in his tracks like he has heard me. Then looks directly at me with a mouse hanging out of his mouth. I take off like a shot outside yelling "OH NO YOU DON'T!!" (I'll be dammed if I am having mouse guts on my carpet again!) chasing him. He runs like the damn wind and ducks under the fence. Blast! I'm foiled!!! Not to mention, I look like an idiot and am once again glad that I have no neighbors. The joke is on him however because it starts raining shortly after and I won't let him inside until I am sure that he won't puke on my carpet. HaHa! Take that Sam Kitty, Grim Reaper of Mice!
*Farmer in the Dell lyrics
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Gallery- The Color (no I didn't forget the u) Red
Post for The Gallery, hosted by Tara at Sticky Fingers.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Gone to the Dogs
Guess what though? It was FUN- loads and barrels of fun. I personally didn't gamble because I have horrible luck and my Granny always taught me to never bet more than a nickle on anything. Others did gamble and the girls had fun cheering on their friends dogs. I had never been to a dog track before and found it very entertaining. I'm not sure what kind of atmosphere I was anticipating, but I found one where the owners of the dogs were very nice. You could tell that they really cared about their dogs (very unlike the sterotype that I had seen on the episode of "The Simpsons" where Homer and Bart adopt Santa's Little Helper). There were also posters about encouraging patrons of the track to adopt retiring greyhounds which I found very sweet.
We had a really good night and I would love to go back even if it wasn't for a school fund raiser. Also, we raised £230 to add to our fund to improve the school library. Not bad for a small village school with around 100 students!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
By Emma Lazarus, 1883
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
I have always loved this poem and now as I see my country fractured I can't help but wonder has the America in my head disappeared? What happened to the America that respected the immigrant? What happened to the America that wanted to embrace all and give everyone a shot at the American Dream. The America who with gall and enthusiasm said "Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send THESE, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I life my lamp beside the golden door!" What makes the immigrants of today any less deserving of the immigrants that built the skyscrapers of New York or settled the farmlands of the Mid-west? Only one thing, time. Time for people to forget that America was built on the backs of immigrants. Maybe America just needs to remember that.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Gallery- Favorite Photo
This is my new favorite photo. A fluke of a photo taken from a weird angle whilst holding the camera out and away from LaLa. The most perfect photo taken of LaLa ever.
Just remember, sometimes you have to take your hands off the lap bar and be a little scared to enjoy life to its fullest.
Friday, October 8, 2010
"Dad, was that you?!!!" LaLa yelled from the living room.
"Ummm...no. Dad already went to bed. Excuse me."
"But Mom, (she actually said Mum but I still refuse to acknowledge that) only boys burp like that!"
In other news today the girls have to dress up as characters from their favorite books at school. KiKi is being Alice in Wonderland and LaLa is being Ariel from The Little Mermaid (cause I couldn't find any other costume without a stain on it).
After this picture of the girls was taken, LaLa went and nicked a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero (my precious) when she thought my back was turned. Cheeky monkey!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Conversation With LaLa
Me- "Well you need to tell Chuck that you are a free spirit who does not feel the need at this age to be tied down by the constraints of marriage"
LaLa- "What's a free spirit?"
Me- "A person who does what they like when they like"
Me (in my head)- so she wants to know what a free spirit is but has no questions about the word constraint.......
La- "I might want to marry Callum anyways"
Me- "It's good to keep your options open."
*All other kids names made up
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
At Least It Wasn't the Kitchen Sink
I arrived home, puking child in tow, made her a place to lay down on the couch and positioned a bathroom sized trash can (with liner) in front of her in case of anymore upchucking. The men who were working on the gas lines then came inside and turned my boiler off and began the other parts of whatever the hell they were doing out there. I wasn't really paying attention. About two hours later they came inside to turn the gas back on and relight the pilot light on the boiler. The boiler wouldn't relight. So they told me to call my landlady and LEFT. They left me with no heat and no hot water. Just great! I call my landlady, who is goes completely off the rails because she wasn't notified by the gas company that they would be doing any work (rightfully angry and thankfully not at me) and she promises me that she will get back to me.
By this point KiKi is writhing in pain and grasping her abdomen and screaming cause it hurts. Plus she had upchucked two more times. I decide that it is time to go to the ER. Who knows it could be appendicitis with our luck around here. So I start making phone calls to arrange somebody to pick up LaLa from school. Then I hear a knock on my door. It is the landlady and she is telling me what she is going to do about the heat* (besides getting someone out the next day to fix it) and she hears KiKi in the back so she lets me go quickly. I pack up KiKi and head to the base to spend 3 hours in the ER to be told she has a virus and trapped gas in her tummy.
So, I get home that night and I get a phone call from my landlady.
LL- Hey Kat, where is your gate?
Me- What gate?
LL- The gate that goes across your driveway"
Me- Ummm...(thinking it is a trick question)..on the fence?
LL- Well I will call my dad and my husband and see if they know where it is...
So, my gate that goes on the fence that surrounds my property is missing...
LL- Well, my father and husband don't know where the gate is so I guess it has been stolen.
Yes, thieves came I assume in the middle of the night and STOLE my gate.
*My landlady decided that she is going to replace the whole heating system in my house within the next month or two.
Monday, October 4, 2010
No! Nooooo! Nooooooo!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Symptoms of a Man Cold
1. Laying in bed coughing dramatically for effect.
2. Tissue box in the bed for easy access.
4. No desire for a shower.
5. General bad attitude.
6. Leaving Facebook statuses that say you are sick and want your mom.
7. Body aches.
8. Low grade fever.
9. Sore throat that everyone needs to know about.
10. Insisting that you are going to die.
11. Insisting sore throat must have warped into strep throat.
12. Leaky faucet nose (sometimes stuffed with tissue to avoid having to wipe every 5 seconds).
13. Using TV as babysitter.
14. Sniffling and snorting.
15. Unattractive gigantic (possibly dangerous) sneezes that nearly make you wet your pants.
I, Kat, have a man cold. Didn't think it was possible and that I could never be as annoying as
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
(Mil)ing It Over- PCSing
Please visit all the other (Mil)ing it Over participants and hear their views on the subject!
Jenn @ Chances I'm Taking
Nicole @ Flip Flops and Combat Boots
Chelle @ It's a Hooah Life
Mrs. Ma'am @ Life of a Cajun Bombshell
- At night I swear I am going to go to bed by 10pm and never make it there before midnight. Ever. You know what they say about the road to hell* and all... hell being the next morning when I have to wake up at 7am.
- Last night I got a horrible belly ache around 9pm. I then sat on the couch willing myself not to be sick whist watching Britain's Next Top Model, Dating in the Dark and then some documentary about the lack of equality in the British school system...no wonder I was so ill.
- My washing machine is on the fritz. I can't call the repair man until this next load of laundry is finished washing though because it has all my jeans in it. Can't go pick up KiKi in my knickers (fortunately for all those around me).
- It took me 2 hours to help clean** LaLa's room last night. Maybe inheriting that huge tub of Littlest Pet Shop toys from my friends tween was a bad idea. There is around 150 of JUST the animals not including all their little accessories. Pain in my rear. Just say "no" to LPS.
- KiKi got her first reading book with words. The second time reading through it she started to recognize the words mum, and, & dad by sight. W00t!!
- LaLa is studying Pablo Picasso at school right now. She spent two days drawing a "Picasso" picture for her teacher, not because she was assigned to do so, but because she wanted to. It was really sweet this morning when she presented it to her teacher and her teacher exclaimed "What a beautiful Picasso!!"
- Rain rain go away, come again another day. Seriously. I can't handle anymore rain right now. Plus it is destroying the bottom cuffs of my jeans....hence why all pairs of my jeans are in the wash.
*The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
**By help clean I mean I sat the the middle of the floor and directed traffic***
*** By directing traffic I mean I barked orders at LaLa and reminded her that her Wii was going to be mine until she got her room clean and kept it clean for a week.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Even Breakfast is Never Dull
LaLa- Hey Mom, did you know... (her famous phrase)
La- Did you know, if you point your middle finger in the air you're saying all the bad words in the world.
Me- *looking up in disbelief* Well, could you not do it at the breakfast table?
Her- *looking sheepish puts down her middle finger*
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I'm Gonna Need a Lot of Stones...
Just as a comment, harassing someone because they are gay isn’t necessarily sexual harassment, but harassment nonetheless. I feel fairly confident that harassment exists right now for men and women, gay or straight. It is just part of life and particularly found to be part of military life. It goes with the manly-man machismo persona that is part of SOME (not ALL) the military lifestyle. It is also (obviously) VERY common in civilian life.
On top of that, let’s talk about straight people that sleep around, cheat on their spouses and those (military) who pay child support, but don’t give two shits about the child. When did it become OK to hate someone because of whom they choose to have sex with, but in the same breath find it completely acceptable that your friends have multiple partners, are unfaithful and ignore personal responsibility? Is THAT the kind of person I want to be serving my country? Someone who can’t even man/woman up in their own life, and I am expected to trust them with protecting mine?
Yeah, that misnomer always cracks me up. Do straight people try and hump every other heterosexual they come in contact with? This line of thinking just doesn’t make any sense. Why because you are gay does morality, consideration and respect suddenly fly out the window? Gays are JUST as respectful, if not MORE, than straights. As a matter of fact, I can PERSONALLY attest to some horrendous things men have said and done to me at bars to try and get me to go home with them. My ass has NEVER been grabbed (uninvited) by another woman
Do you really see Bobby (Bobby is her gay roommate who might be considered flamboyant by somebody's standard but to me he is just Bobby) joining the military? Believe me; the gays that are going to join the military AFTER “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is revoked (and one day it will be) are going to be the same gay men and women that have been joining since the beginning of the military. They join because they feel strongly about military service. It isn’t like the flood gates are going to open and all these drag queens are going to be showing up ready to go. Though drag queens can kick some serious ass. Don’t eff wit em.
I have heard this before and that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard anyone say. Is it causing stress now? Cause you know that “the gays” have infiltrated, right? If those pesky gays hadn’t already integrated in the military, then we would have no reason to discuss “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.
Again, I must bring up the unbelievable amount of fornication that happens within the church. I have PERSONALLY been involved with Christians that have cheated on their spouses, laundered money, been divorced multiple times…the list goes on. If they really want to talk about SIN then that is one thing, but it might be important to figure out what their definition of sin is. Apparently it has nothing to do with adultery or being dishonest.
I saw the below quote in an article earlier this week:
In a letter last week to Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, Land said he and his organization are "gravely concerned" that the repeal of DADT "would result in the resignation of large numbers of personnel who are currently serving in our all-volunteer services, and that it will be extremely difficult to recruit their replacements."
Re-tard-iculous. So, if these people leave the military, they are going to have to get jobs, right? Would it not be logical to say that there are going to be gays working at those jobs too? Are you going to continuously quit working and go on welfare because you have to work with gays? Do you think gay people just showed up this year? They have always been around. What the f*ck people.
I have only really commented on what you have written, but I would love to answer questions that your readers might have.
My qualifications are as follows: Card carrying lesbian. Child of parents that have both worked for the military (civilian) for 30+ years. Grandchild of three grandparents who served and retired in the Air Force and Navy. Sister of brothers who are in the Coast Guard and Air Force Reserve. Have gay friends in the military at this very moment.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I'm OK With That
Friday, September 10, 2010
(Mil)ing It Over
The Marine's Wife