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Thursday, October 30, 2008

My Parents are Here...(oh and my little brother too)

My parents and my little brother have come from South Carolina to spend some time with me and the rest of the family before we head off to England. They will be here through the 3rd of November and will get to take the girls trick or treating for Halloween. I think I am going to get my mom and LaLa to carve the pumpkins this afternoon while the movers are packing our advance shipment of household goods.

Speaking of the move...apparently the airline (who will remain nameless) is trying to tack on an unnecessary charge when it comes to shipping my animals according to the kennel that I am using for quarantine. Note to self, never fly with this company again.

Funny convo with LaLa:
LaLa-When is MiMi going to be here?
Me- In like 45 min. Then I have to go pick them up at the gate.
LaLa- The gate?
Me- Yeah you know where you say "HI!" to the guard everyday. I have to go up there to get them because they don't have a military ID.
LaLa- I know.

That kid confuses me sometimes.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Got an Award! Thanks Heinous!

So, Heinous, over at irregularly periodic ruminations thinks I am a pretty spiffy blogger. Honestly, I am flattered. I don't even have a speech prepared! Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy... no really, I am seriously humbled.

For this award apparently I also have to follow some "rules". I have never really been one to actually follow rules. Mostly I tend to bend them in my favor, but I will try to follow them this time. OK so the rules are...

1. List 6 things I love.
2. Tag 6 other people with this award.

Hummm seems simple enough. I guess I can give it a whirl.

Things I Love
1. My husband. Lord knows that man puts up with a lot being married to me. I mean it must be really hard to be married to someone as opinionated and obstinate as me. He is my rock to lean on, my soft place to fall, my best friend, and my favorite person to irritate all at the same time. I love that man. He might not be perfect, but he is perfect for me.
2. My family. They are seriously the greatest yahoos of all time. They are kind, loving and supportive. Not only that, but they are great blogging material.
3. Animals. I love animals. I especially love my pets. I guess they could almost be considered family, well except that they have 4 legs, are extremely hairy, and have bad breath. Oh wait, they really are like my family...I kid. I kid.
4. Cheese. Ok this may seem a little weird. I have a love affair with cheese. Melty melty cheese. mmmmm *drools* I eat cheese on anything that cheese can possibly go on. This also may explain why I have gained 20 lbs since my husband returned from Guam.
5. My friends. All my friends. I have friends scattered from here in Missouri to kingdom come. I guess this is just a side effect of being a military wife. I try to keep in contact with as many as possible, but some have fallen through the cracks. Thank goodness for facebook and myspace.
6. Cop, Mystery, CSI type shows. I think I may have seen every episode of Law and Order there is. CSI and I are best friends. Love me some Raising the Bar. Judging Amy...looooove it. The Closer, man I wish I could fake that southern accent (OK maybe I have a bit of a slight southern accent already but hers is a really good fake one). So if you ever come to my house (which i doubt...unless you want to hop a plane to England) and I am watching a rerun of Criminal Minds...don't be surprised.

6 people that I am tagging. (This one might be a little more difficult)
1. Slick over at slicksumbich. He is too funny. Gotta love a good ol southern boy with an attitude problem and some smooth dance skillz.
2. Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them. OMG his kids are so cute. I could just eat them up with a spoon!
3. Lola at Sassy Mama Says.. This woman is cool. Anyone who can take an exercise pole dancing class from a former stripper and keep a straight face...enough said.
4. Sprite's Keeper. Her blog is hysterical and reminds me of the things I thought when I was a parent the first go round.
5. Ellie and the girls over Me and You and Ellie. These girls do a great job at keeping a blog between the 3 of them. Ellies husband Mistah takes some gourgeous photos as well.
6. FODKOG well at ...for a different type of girl. Funny chick who reminds me so much of myself that it isn't even funny. Well, if I had a boy that is. Her story about hiding from the neighbor boy in her kitchen almost made me pee my pants because it was so funny.

Go now and read all of them if you already haven't. Oh and those of you have been tagged please try to play by the rules. It is only fair. I did.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

That Punk Ruby

I don't know how many of you guys have seen the Nick Jr T.V. show Max and Ruby, but that show seriously grates on my last nerve. What is the deal with it? Where are their parents? Is Grandma Bunny their legal guardian who lives in a different house? Why the heck is Ruby so dang bossy?

In each episode it is quite clear that little Max Bunny just wants to play and have fun like any other 3 year old. Ruby his controlling know it all sister never lets Max play and be a kid. She always has some "activity" that she wants to complete. Who the heck cares if you get that next Bunny Scout merit badge, Ruby? Nobody Ruby. That's who cares. Thankfully little Max usually screws up Ruby's plans and ends up having fun.

Way to go Max. Way to go!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dinner Interupted

It started out as a normal enough Friday last winter. My husband was deployed to Guam, but it had already been 4 months since he had left, so I was pretty settled into a routine. The kids had colds but nothing too serious. KiKi had been running a low grade fever on and off, nothing big. I could handle this. Around 4pm I decided to head to the commissary because I was not liking the looks of anything in my fridge for dinner. You know what I am talking about. You go to the fridge, take a look, shut the fridge and come back 3 min later hoping something else magically appears. Well nothing had magically appeared so I got my kids ready to go out. Coats, shoes, hats. I had them bundled up good because it was freezing outside.

At the commissary I did my shopping. KiKi was whining a bit because she didn't want to be in the cart and she was starting to sweat. I took off her hat and she felt a little warm. I figured her fever was coming back and we would get a dose of Tylenol when we got back to the house. Nothing big I could handle it. I got to the register and started unloading my items onto the cashiers conveyor belt. I took a look at the kids and noticed KiKi was just not right.

She started slumping into the blue seat of the car cart. Then her eyes started rolling into her head. By the time I pulled her out of the cart she was completely limp and not breathing. I started to scream for someone to call 911. The cashier helped me lower her little lifeless body onto the conveyor belt. I was a mess. I was crying and praying for my angel to be alright. Her little lips were starting to turn blue. Out of nowhere a man appeared. He must have come from another checkout line. He announced that he was an eye doctor over at the medical group and he started checking her vitals. He told me to try to calm down and that she still had circulation going to her fingers. The manager of the commisary came and said the ambulance was on its way. About this time KiKi started coming around. She had this completely dazed look on her face and was scared. She was crying. I was also crying. I then heard the sirens of the ambulance and the doctor and I hurried her outside. He gave the paramedics her vitals and I gave them her personal information. Within minutes they were on their way to the hospital and I was following behind with LaLa in our personal vehicle.

I made a call to The Man on the way to the hospital. It was early Saturday morning and he was on a WW2 sightseeing trip with a few of his buddies. He immediately got a friend to take him back to his dorm so that he could be on alert if anything else happened. He couldn't do much from Guam but he wanted to be available in case anything changed. Once he hung up with me, he called his first sgt and some of his shop friends who were still state side. One of our friends met me at the hospital and took LaLa for me so she wouldn't have to sit in the hospital. The First Sgt. also showed up ready to help any way he could. Another friend showed up to keep me company while we waited for test results on KiKi.

KiKi was fine once her fever came down. She had a febrile seizure. Her fever had spiked so quickly that her little body couldn't handle it. I felt like a horrible mother because I had taken her out shopping when she was sick. Then I realized, if I had stayed home, I wouldn't have had a doctor or any of the others to help me. I would have been alone. The commisarry had actually been the perfect place for this to have happened at. I was never alone throughout the entire crisis. I may not have had my family present, but I had my Air Force Family. They circled the wagons in my families time of need. It is what they do.

Last week I ran into the manager of the commissary and he recognized me. He asked how KiKi was doing and what exactly had happened. I explained it all. The bagger who was helping him with my groceries also remembered the incident. When she was helping me out to the car she told me that out of the three years she had worked at the commissary, that was her most memorable moment. It was my most memorable moment at the commisary as well. Go figure.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Metallica! Metallica! Metallica!!

Excuse me because my ears are still ringing from the AWESOMENESS! I can barely speak because I think I lost my voice around the 4th song. I do have to say that was probably the best concert I have ever been to. Which is really hard to imagine considering I have seen a bunch of different bands in concert. Metallica however was just a total experience. They truly know how to work a crowd. James had the whole arena in the palm of his hand (Jen he even did a little growl just for you..I swear it was just for you!).

The set list was as follows:
That Was Just Your Life
The End of the Line
Harvester Of Sorrow
Ride The Lightning
Broken, Beat & Scarred
Sad But True
Until It Sleeps
Wherever I May Roam
Kirk Solo #1
The Day That Never Comes
Master Of Puppets
Fight Fire With Fire
Kirk Solo #2
Nothing Else Matters
Enter Sandman
Last Caress
Seek and Destroy

The last 3 songs were for the encore. I think the two best numbers they did in terms of production and energy level were probably One and Enter Sandman. I have never seen that many fists in the air pumping in unison. It really was something to see. So if Metallica comes to your neck of the woods anytime soon. Go! Seriously eat Top Ramen (I recommend the chicken flavor) for a month if you have to to afford the tickets. It is worth it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008


Rock on. Tomorrow, the man and I are going to see Metallica in concert. This time tomorrow I will be buzzing around my house trying to get everything together so my kids can go across the street to stay with their friends. Gotta make sure they have enough stuff for the entire night because we won't be home until well after midnight. Must make myself fabulous and ready to rock. I am getting a whole evening to myself with out my kids! I feel like I am about to make a jail break. OK maybe it isn't that profound. You parents understand though.

Today however, is just another day in Crazytown. Well for me anyway. My husband is having his going away lunch at the Mexican restaurant in the next town over. This is where the guys from his shop all get together, eat, drink, be merry, and then give him another plaque to add to his "wall of me". I don't know if people outside the military really have "walls of me". My husband actually has a pretty impressive wall, well bookshelf shrine to his own greatness. OK...background information. He is a weapons loader, that is his job. He puts bombs on planes. He has never loaded during the active phase of a war, we got here two weeks after the "shock and awe" thing ended in Iraq. However, he has done really well since we arrived here. He has several awards such as Armorment Tech of the Year, Load Crew of the Quarter, Distiguished Graduate from ALS (Airman Leadership School), and because he has ranked extremely quickly he has a bunch of different Certificates of Promotion (he is an E-5 and has a line number for E-6*). Now he is going to have a huge plaque from the sqaudron as a thanks for all you have done, hope we see you again. It is really cool looking and maybe if you are lucky I will take a picture and show everyone. Can you guys tell how proud I am of my man? He is a great airman, a great husband, and a great dad. What more could I ask for?

* For those who don't understand military rank structure. E stands for enlisted. 1-9 is the ranks. My husband is a Staff Sargent currently and will actually put on Tech Sargent in the next year based on his test scores, time in rank, fitness score, and time in service. My husband has been in the Air Force for 6 years and will be a Tech Sgt. soon. That is very rare in the Air Force. I am so proud.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Preparation is Key

In preparation for this epic move I am going to be transferring my pictures from my computer over to an external hard drive ya know, just in case. If I lost my computer today, at least 2 years of pictures would be non-existent. This means KiKi wouldn't exist in my photo world. That would be devastating. I think I would actually crawl up into a little ball and cry for days. It would be traumatic. Yes, I know I should have backed them up a long time ago, but I am lazy. I fully admit it.

Since I am also completely self indulgent I am going to subject you all to random pictures on my computer.
This is LaLa when she was around 18 months old. Poor thing has never had much hair. But that smile just kills me.She wore this bucket on her head for a solid month. I still call her buckethead from time to time...and she responds to it.The night that SpongeBob went down in flames. In our defense, the childs birthday party was over and all the kids were in the house asleep.

OMG could she be any cuter?

KiKi makes her way onto the scene. Who knew such a precious angel would be such a brute when she reached the age of 2? Beats up her older sister all the time.

Ok I am sure you guys are getting bored with my trip down memory lane, lets look at something more recent.You mean all kids don't watch T.V. like this?

KiKi loves to give Sam the cat his treats. She sits there and watches him to make sure he eats them all.
"Sam no like tissue paper. Attack Mode!!!!"

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

When it Pours...(and apparently it comes with a rotten egg scent)

Yesterday evening after "The Man" left for work I was doing a little cleaning up around the house. The girls were upstairs playing in LaLa's room and I had my iTouch on and was jamming out. I kept smelling the faint smell of rotten eggs and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It was really starting to irk me when I remembered that "The Man" had asked me to finish up the laundry I had started the day before so that we could have the laundry room completely empty of dirty laundry and thus easier to organize this weekend (there is a lot of stuff in there other than laundry). As I went into the laundry room the faint smell of rotten eggs got a lot more pronounced. Then I made a fatal error. I opened the washer. Apparently my washer shit the bed the night before (Air Force Technical Jargon for broke). The clothes that I thought I would just rewash real quick...well the water didn't drain out of the machine and they were just sitting there stewing in a juice of stink.

I fiddle with the knobs. Nothing. I kick it. Nothing. I swear at it. Nothing. I call my mom. "Hey you used to have a washer like mine, how do you get it to drain if it isn't working?" Yeah, she has no answers either. She did tell me to throw some detergent into the clothes and put it back on the agitate cycle to see if it would then kick over to the other cycles. All that did was make my laundry smell like flower covered rotten eggs, which just may be worse than plain old rotten eggs. Then I walk across the street to ask my neighbor if I can borrow her washer if I can't get mine to work. Of course she says it is fine. I go back home and try again. I take half the clothes out of the washer and throw them into the laundry room sink. Mind you I am cussing this whole time. I think I might have put half the military men on this base to shame with the level of profanity coming from my mouth (kids are still upstairs so they didn't hear any of it). I jiggle some knobs, try different cycles, and then slam the washer shut and try the spin cycle one more time. It works! The washer comes back to life drains and spins. Of course now I have half a load of stinky clothes in the sink, half in the washer, still stinky but spinning. When it finished spinning I added more detergent and fabric softener to get ride of the smell and rewashed them. They quit after the agitate cycle again! Fiddle, fiddle, slam, fiddle, the washer resumes washing. I do this for the next 3 half loads of laundry because if I make a full load it doesn't seem to want to work well (or at least that is they theory I was working with). The smell is still everywhere in my house. I light all the candles in my house. OK, seriously if you knew how many candles I have out in my house it would stagger the mind. I used to be a candle consultant for a in home candle party business. I have loads of candles. They were all lit. The smell seemed to go away.

"The Man" got home from work around 8 pm because they didn't have a lot of work last night and they didn't see a reason for everyone to stick around. The first thing he said when he walked in the door was "WHAT IS THAT SMELL?"

Me-"The Candles or the rotten egg fart smell?"
Him- "Both! What the hell is going on?"
Me- "Washing machine apparently shit the bed last night before the spin cycle. The clothes went sour. The candles were to cover the smell."
Him- "Holy crap it stinks!"
Me- "You should have smelled it before, Buddy. You always seem to miss all the fun."

On the last load of laundry I did last night I think I figured out what exactly is wrong with the washer. There is something wrong with the connector doo-hickey (more technical jargon) that senses when the lid is down. The washer won't go into spin cycle if it thinks that is up. The fix? Put a screw driver in the hole where the sensor is and let it go open. Hell I only have to deal with it for another 2 weeks and then I am moving anyway. I am certainly not going to pay anyone to come fix a washer that I bought second hand (when my other washer died) that I am not taking to England anyway. I figure we will just put it out on the curb and either some poor schmuck will pick it up or the trash man will get it. Either way, it won't be my problem anymore.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Quick Note

Today I have to be on the phone a lot with people in the UK. I have to talk to the quarantine facility that will be housing Elizabeth and Sam once we get to England. I if need be I need to call the handling agency that will transport the animals from the airport to the kennels. I need to do this all by noon because at noon it is 6pm in England. I also need to call NorthWest Airlines to make sure our reservations for the animals are confirmed because the phone cut off on The Man yesterday when he was on the phone with them. Lovely times everyone. We are a little stressed out, but it will be worth it. It will be worth it, right?

Monday, October 20, 2008

She Makes Me So Proud...Most of the Time

This morning when LaLa came downstairs to finish getting ready for preschool, I turned on the T.V. I put it on Nick like I normally do. Well LaLa was not having it. Apparently Nick has become uncool. I didn't know a 4 year old had a coolness meter. I guess I am wrong. She insisted I turn it to Boomerang. In case you are not in the know, Boomerang is a T.V. channel that plays "classic" cartoons. They have everything from Tom and Jerry to the Snorks. I am so glad that she finally is over the whole Dora thing. This morning she actually said "Yay! The Snorks are coming on next!" Unfortunately we were about to walk out the door in 5 min so she didn't get to watch The Snorks, but I think it is really cool that she likes them. They were one of my favorites growing up. Them and She-ra. I wonder if I can find any old She-ra videos on eBay....

Sorry, my mind wandered for a minute there. I am just glad that I am watching cartoons with character now. Dora, Diego, WonderPets, and Little Bill were starting to wear my nerves thin. I know they are "educational" but really my kids have seen them enough that they know the dialog, and my kids don't actually watch "a lot" of T.V. At least old cartoons have a little bit of a sense of danger, mystery, or nonsensical violence. I think a good mallet to the head of Tom the cat is good for the soul sometimes. Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff, pure genius! Mindless laughs are for fun. Dora is for suckers!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Man and all his Glory

I knew I was in for a long night when my husband started referring to Kevin Youkillis of the Boston Red Sox as Leonidas. You know Leonidas from the movie 300. Then he started saying everything in song to the epic battle music, O, Fortuna. He was officially hyper. I don't know if he drank a gallon of coffee at 10p.m. or what but he was off his rocker hyper.

We got in bed and the epic battle conversation from his end continued. I was finally getting sick of it and well actually it was kind of funny but the joke was starting to wear off. So we were laying there and he kept it up. I was telling him to quit, he would mock me in song. So I would start pinching him, he would deflect the onslaught of pinches and mock me in song again. I would retaliate with pinches, he would mock me in song, and we would fall into a fit of giggles. This went on for a good 15 min. At this point, he couldn't stop. Everything he said was in that song. Finally he got up and went to get his iPod, cause he needed some soothing metal music to put him to sleep. Thank goodness cause I was about to smother him with my pillow and make it look like an accident.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Mismash again

This morning my brain isn't focusing properly, so today it will be a mismash of incomplete thoughts. There is a lot to talk about, but none of it deserves a whole post to itself. Bear with me people!

1. My graduation present from my parents has arrived. My iTouch is awesome and I love it. I have put all 500+ songs from my iTunes library on there and I will be adding movies and games shortly. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Mom and Dad. You guys rock and I love you!!

2. We now have our airline tickets to England scheduled. We will be leaving out of Kansas City on Nov. 14th and arriving in London on the 15th. There is a huge layover in Minneapolis. We will be stuck there for 12 hours. If any of you have ideas on ways to keep occupied and keep my kids occupied during a large layover, lay it on me. Please? For the love of my sanity?

3. How the hell did I get Safari on my computer? I really don't remember downloading this...

4. This picture. ohcaptian recently posted a 4 generation picture over at his place and I wanted to share my 5 generation picture with you all. That is my great-grandmother, my granny, my mom, myself, and LaLa (who was 3 months at the time). 5 generations of first born girls.

6. How do you deal with a 4 year old who has lied 4 times in the last month? Lastnight LaLa lied to me for the 4th time this month. I put her in her room for time out and gave her a stern lecture, but I don't know if it is going to work. Any advise?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sleep is For the Weak!

Lastnight at about 7:30 LaLa put herself to bed. She told me her legs hurt cause they were so tired and she needed to go to bed. No skin off my nose. Please child, put yourself to bed. KiKi on the other hand was wired. I don't know if it was because she has been feeling so puny for so long or if the days activities had just got her super amped but she was not going to be going to bed at bedtime. I am sure the cookie she ate at 8pm had no effect at all. Are you sensing the sarcasm?

At about 9pm I decided that enough was enough. Time for bed. I found her favorite Dora pajamas, got her changed and put her in bed. Then she asked for water. I went and got water. She was out of bed by the time I got back to her room. I put her back in bed and sat down on the edge to wait for her to fall asleep. Then I looked at her and saw the tell tale glint of mischif in her eyes. KiKi had other plans. This was not going to be an easy bedtime. She talked to me. I told her to go to sleep. She heard "Retreat" played on the loudspeaker outside (military base, remember).

KiKi- "Song?"
Me- "That is the night night music. Time to go to sleep."
KiKi- "SONG!!"

After the music was over she continued to try to play in her bed. I kept telling her it was time to go to bed. She then made me laugh. She pointed her finger at me, and told me off in toddler speak. I have no idea what she said, but she meant business. Whatever she told me it must have satisfied her because she quickly fell asleep after her diatribe.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You Have Been Warned!

Do NOT let this cuteness fool you! This is Sam, the feline member of our family. Yes, he is a bundle of cuteness, but this cat on more then one occasion has made me want to pull all my hair out. The third day that we were living in our current house he chewed our mini blinds. You know the mini blinds that are US govt. property. The mini blinds we now have to replace. The next day he broke a $30 candle holder/vase.

When we found out we were moving to England, we had to find out about the quarantine laws for our pets. You have to start the process to avoid quarantine 6 month in advance of the time of arrival in country. Well the day before his blood test to start the 6 month process, Sam decided to disappear. I was beside myself. This cat that I have had since he was seven weeks old was gone. I cried and cried. I missed the little bastard more than I cared to let on. I was a mess. Well two weeks later after fruitless searches of the neighborhood he decided to wander home. Of course now he was late on the whole getting to England process and he will have to be quarantined for approximately three weeks once we arrive. See this cat is an endless money pit.

He does have redeeming qualities though. He follows me in the morning during my morning routine. He meows at me to turn on the sink so he can get his morning drink. He sits on the edge of the shower while I am in it and bats at me through the shower liner. For kicks sometimes I knock him into the shower with me, cause I am mean like that. He also is good with the kids generally. They can hug and love on him for a while before he tries to bite them. Definitely more tolerant than most cats I know. Sometimes he even snuggles with the dog. "The Man" actually likes Sam. I guess I really love the little booger too. I just wish he would quit trying to escape out of the house like we are running a Kitty Gitmo.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Star Wars Kick

I am on a bit of a Star Wars kick now. I saw yesterday that some of you didn't understand the hand movements associated with the force so of course I knew the best video EVER to explain it. Star Wars and making fun of George Bush all in one video! Could it get any better. Hey, I am a conservative but even I know George Bush is an idiot.

Enjoy guys. By the way, the best scene is the last one. Heh Heh Heh, Tacos Rule!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Jedi Powers

Last night while we were watching the Sox game on T.V, I was showing "The Man" some of the flair that I had received from friends on facecrack..I mean book. We get to the piece of flair above that says "Automatic Doors Make Me Feel Like A Jedi" and my husband starts laughing like it is the funniest thing he has ever seen. Now, it is funny, but it it isn't that funny. That is when I got the rest of the story.

See apparently when my husband went to go refill his perscription at the Med Group Clinic for his antiacid medication last week, he used his index finger and middle finger together, like a jedi, and made the motion to move the automatic door open. Once inside he was praying that nobody saw his geek-dom. Well maybe nobody saw, but now the whole internets knows. Way to go there, "The Man". You are now offically a geek.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Name this Photo

Ok, I am officially going to get beat down by KiKi when she is old enough to figure out what a blog is. This is one of my favorite funny pictures of her. I can't decide if she looks like a drunken surly bum or a old woman trying to keep her purse safe from a purse snatcher. So it is up to you my lovely blog readers, name this photo. As always, there is no prize, just bragging rights.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

England Update

In roughly a month I will be moving to England. The date is quickly approaching and tasks are getting scheduled at an alarming rate. I knew there were going to be a ton of appointments and dates for me to remember, but it is getting a little overwhelming. Thankfully, Then Man is really good about writing them on the calendar for me. He knows if it isn't on the calendar, it doesn't exist in my world.

Next Tuesday I have my pre-inspection for the housing office. This means they are going to come to my house and point out all the things we need to fix or replace so that we don't have to pay for them when we leave. I already know I am going to have to replace most of the mini blinds in my house because of the cat and my kids. Hell, the 3rd day we lived here my cat decided to chew on the largest of the blinds in my house*. Lovely.

The kids Visa's finally arrived from the British Consulate. Mine should be here soon, but it was delayed a few days because of the marriage license incident. I do now have a copy of my marriage license, by I can not find the original anywhere. I am sure we will probably find it while the packers are packing up the house or while we are unpacking in England. That is just how things go when you are moving. I once heard a saying about military life that is so true. You know you are in the military if you have moved so many times that you know where the scotch tape was in your last house, but have no clue where it is in your new house. I really wish this one wasn't so true. I have needed tape in this house so many times and I have only found it once. At my last house, it was on top of the refrigerator.

The movers are coming on Oct 30, while my parents are in town. They are coming to get our advance items. These are items that we are going to need immediately when we get a house such as pots and pans, linens, and clothes. I also plan on sending a bunch of stuff via the mail to my friends APO box. Then on Nov 5th and 6th the movers are coming back to get the rest of our household goods. We are not planning on actually leaving Missouri until Nov. 15 so we will be living in TLF** for at least a week. From what I hear TLF has pretty much all the ammenities that we are going to need for a week. I know they have a full kitchen, decent beds, a living area with cable tv and possibly wi-fi. I am not excited about TLF living, but I know it just means I am one step closer to being in England.

We have also got to look into the cleaning situation for our current house. I have heard rumors to get this house professionally cleaned up to military standards it will cost $600. Let this be clear to everyone, I will never pay anyone $600 to clean my house ever. If it really is that much, I have a friend who has offered to help us. I told her I would pay her $100 to come help me. She used to professionally clean houses when she was stationed in Montana, so she knows the standards that the military uses for cleaning. Yes, they are rediculously rigorous standards, but if you are going to have a new family in a house every couple years and you want it to last, tight standards are a must.

In anycase, we are going to be busy busy people, but don't worry. I will keep posting as much as I can. I also have some guest bloggers lined up to fill in the gap during the time that I will be traveling. When I get to England my friend says that I have free use of her internet and wireless connection. 3 Bedroom Bungalow shall live during my absence!

* The next day he knocked a $30 vase/ candle holder over and shattered it. Yeah he was skating on thin ice that week.
** TLF stands for Temporary Lodging Facilities

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

My family moved from Charleston, SC to Washington, D.C. when I was 4 years old. My brother was 2 years old at the time. Coming from a midsized southern city, we hadn’t really experienced much in alternative lifestyles and my mother and father had never really felt a need to explain them to us since we were so young. Needless to say we (she) were (was) ill prepared for that day we picked my father up from his office on Constitution Ave.

Capital Pride is the 4th largest gay pride event held in the United States today. In 1986 it celebrated its 11th anniversary. Apparently my mom was not aware. In order to get to the place where she normally picked up my dad from work she had to cross on 14th over Constitution Ave. Had she looked to the right as she was crossing the street she would have noticed the gigantic rainbow balloon arch, but she didn’t. She had got to the area that they were going to have the parade before they had started blocking off the streets, so she really didn’t notice that there was anything out of the ordinary going on. When she got to where she normally met my father, she couldn’t find him. So she had to park the car to find him.

Now this is the part that makes me laugh my ass off every time. Apparently when my mom went in search of my father, with 5 year old, Kat and 3 year old brother in tow she somehow managed to become part of the Capital Pride Parade. The ever inquisitive children we were we kept asking her questions that she hadn’t exactly planned on answering that day. “Hey, Mom, why are those guys holding hands?” “Hey, Mom, why are those girls kissing?” I bet she couldn’t find my dad fast enough. Anyways, my mom made family history that day, being the first to march in a gay pride parade by accident.

Later on while living in D.C. we lived above a tranny, his sister, and her son. The boy that lived in the apartment was really good friends with my brother and we naturally became good friends with the family. Uncle J actually taught me how to do make up when I was about 11 years old. He was awesome and prettier than his sister.

Thank you, Heinous for jogging my memory and spurring me to call my Mom in order to recall the exact circumstances of her march on Washington. Oh and thanks Mom for the blog fodder..hehehe. She might just kick my ass guys, watch out for that one she is wiry.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Tuesday Morning

As I listen to Ni Hao Kai-Lan on the T.V. and Metallica's No Leaf Clover on my iTunes, I am thinking about the shittiness of the past few days. I really wanted to get online today and write a cheery upbeat post, but it just isn't happening for me. Really it is like the bad news just keeps slamming us up against a wall every five minutes. While being sick sucks, frankly it is one of the least of my worries.

Our friends got results about what is happening with their little girl yesterday. These are friends that we have known since we were stationed together at Tech School in Texas together five and a half years ago. I was one of the first people to meet their daughter when she was born down there. We lived next door to each other then, as we do now. We were supposed to leave at the same time to move to England (yeah it is weird that we kept getting the same orders). They are no longer moving to England with us. Their daughter has Leukemia.

Right now other than emotional support we can't do much to help them. Their other 3 kids cannot come to stay at our house until KiKi and I are both well. There is no need in them picking up what we have and passing it along to their sister. Both my husband and I wish we could do more. The situation just sucks all around (this is me changing the subject before I get really worked up again).

Lastnight I thought all the drama was over for the day, both kids were asleep, I was watching my TiVo'd episode of Rasing the Bar, and oh I was so wrong. I hear LaLa start screaming from her bedroom. I really don't think much of it because she always screams when she wakes up for no reason at night. I go up there to get her back to sleep and she is covered from head to foot in puke. Smite me, oh Mighty Smiter! Seriously? Are you kidding me? Bathwater is immediately run, call to The Man is made because he is off with his buddy playing racketball, bedsheets are stripped off the bed. The Man arrives back home right after I put LaLa on the couch to watch some T.V. while I finish cleaning up her bed. Oh man it was a mess. I get LaLa back in bed after the show she is watching on Noggin ends. It is now 11:30 at night and I am beat like a red headed step-child.
I hear ya KiKi, I hear ya.

Monday, October 6, 2008


I decided yesterday that KiKi and I were definitely REALLY sick and boy was I right. After 5 hours in the ER we came out with the diagnosis that both of us have pneumonia and KiKi also has strep throat. We are a bunch of sickos. Now we are both sufficiently medicated and I am feeling better. KiKi on the other hand is still not feeling very well*. We have been trying to stay inside as much as possible for the last couple of days as not to infect others. However, I did have to run a few errands today.

First stop was Wal-mart to pick up some more cough medicine. Nyquil Cough. Maybe now I can get more than a couple of hours sleep at night. It is a nice dream. Then I had to get a duplicate key made for our Jeep in order to be able to ship it to England. After I was told that it was going to cost me $120 for a KEY, I nearly had a heart attack. This better be a magic key. It better start my car from 50 paces and change my oil for me. Geez o Peet! On the plus side while I was waiting on the key to be cut (which it didn't get cut because they were out of stock), I got a kick out of looking at the pictures of the mechanics in the "customer lounge". 90% of the mechanics at this dealership apparently have porn stache's . One guy I swear to goodness could have been the cowboy from the Village People. Do you know how hard it is to giggle to yourself, while holding a sick child and not grab the attention of the porn stache'd mechanics? If anyone can think of a way for me to take a picture of the pictures without getting caught by the mechanics it would be greatly appriciated.

*whiny and generally a pain to deal with still.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

To Which The Man Replied... have got to be shittin' me!

Saturday Morning Clash

MixwitMixwit make a mixtapeMixwit mixtapes

Friday, October 3, 2008

PSA-Juice Crisis

It has come to my attention that we are facing a new crisis. Along with the energy crisis and economic crisis the federal government has overlooked the juice crisis. Juice prices over the last year have skyrocketed. A gallon of juice that once cost $1.50 at the check out line is now going for almost $3.00 a gallon. Parents of angry toddlers everywhere are feeling the pinch at the register. I am calling for a bipartisan committee to look into the allegations of price gouging and price fixing. As responsible citizens we must also look into alternative thirst quenchers. Some of the possible choices that I foresee helping us through this juice crisis are Milk, water, and Kool-Aid. Toddlers are resistant to change so as parents it is your responsibility to introduce these new alternative thirst quenchers at a moderate pace as to not upset the emotional balance of your toddler. One of the most promising new thirst quenchers is Sugar-free Kool-Aid which comes in a variety of juice like flavors. The added benefit of Sugar-free Kool-Aid is that it does not contain the sucrose that causes hyper-activity in children. One may also choose to dilute the juice with water to avoid over consumption of juice. Please be responsible with your consumption of juice. Do not make a run to the super market to hoard juice. This may cause prices to spike even higher or cause a shortage of juice. Please contact your representative in government to express your concern over the juice crisis and your support for alternative thirst quenchers. Thank you.

(This crisis is a complete figment of my imagination brought on by having to wake at 4 am to get KiKi a drink only to find out that we had no juice in the house. Please do not actually contact your representative or you may be laughed off the phone or recieve an visit from those lovely men in white coats who want to take you on a special vacation.)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Avast ye Scurvy Scoundrels!

HaHa I just had to say that! See my nifty new banner. It was made by the sister in law of a certain reader of this blog. I just have to say a big THANK YOU!. I love it. I just think it is so great because the picture she used was the perfect picture. Let me explain.

My kids play dress up all the time. 90% of the time they play princess but my favorite is when they play pirate. I get them into their costumes, they run around saying "ARRRRR" and then we all climb onto my bed and pretend that it is a pirate ship. We even have a flag to hook to the main mast (bed post). Everyone knows when you play pirate properly you need a vast array of pirate accoutrements. We have treasure maps, compasses, flags, swords, hats, and treasure chests. Oh yeah we know how to play pirate right. So if any of you need pirate tips just let me know.

Other than my blog makeover a couple of other big things have happened. First of all, it is playoffs baseball time. That means I will be religiously watching my Cubbies on TV every night until they are either eliminated from play or win the World Series. I am betting on eliminated based on the suck fest of crap baseball I saw them play lastnight. Second of all I heard from UPS this morning and my marriage license should be arriving today. This means I can get my Visa to live in England.

Finally, on a serious note. A good friend of mine has a sick child. They are doing a bunch of tests today up in Kansas City, one of which involves the extraction of bone marrow, to find out what is going on with her. Please pray for her. She is only 5 and does not deserve to be in the pain she is in. I will let you guys know what the outcome of these tests are. Just keep your fingers crossed that it isn't anything life threatening. Thanks.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Odds and Ends

Lastnight I was sitting on the couch minding my own business surfing the boob tube when KiKi came running up to me with a pamphlet. Obviously junk mail. She hands it to me insisting I read it.
KiKi: Look!
Me: *looking at the T-Mobile pamphlet* KiKi I think you are a little to young for a cell phone. Maybe when you are like 15.
KiKi: *insists I open it further* Look! *points a swanky new Motorola phone*
Me: Do you want that?
KiKi: *shakes head yes*
Me: Well how much do these suckers cost? What plan do you want? Do you need the $39.00 plan, the $49.00 plan or the $69.00 plan?
KiKi: *points at the $69.00 plan*
Me: Go discuss it with your father.


Lastnight we didn't get much sleep around here. KiKi is coming down with a cold. This is normal around this time a year and I don't usually think too much about it because in general my kids are troopers when it comes to being sick. Lastnight however she decided to make my night a living hell. Coughing? Check. Fever? Check. Tossing and turning refusing to sleep in her own bed? Check. So we spent two hours getting back to sleep. This included a try with her in my bed with me and The Man. No go. Her back in her bed by herself. No go. Her in bed with The Man, me in bed with LaLa. No go. Finally I moved LaLa to my bed to sleep with The Man and I brought KiKi into LaLa's bed with me. Normally musical beds wouldn't be a big deal, but I was supposed to get up at 6am to take The Man to work because I had to take LaLa to school this morning. Instead, I didn't get up. The Man went to work, then came home at 8am so that I could drop him back off at work and then go take LaLa to school. Not exactly the plan but it worked. Now lets hope a co-worker can bring him home.

Last Friday I was given the Hooked on Your Blog Award by Jen over at Steenky Bee. I am so honored. I can't believe anyone wants to actually read what I write. Thank you Jen.

Now I need to bestow this award on a couple of my other favorite blogs. In no particular order the winners are:

Lola at Sassy MaMa Says... I love this chick and her liberal little heart! I swear sometimes we live in a parallel universe. Only I don't have a little boy, a job, or two dogs...but she does share my wicked sense of humor and love of accesories.

Sarah at Brit Gal' in The USA. Her blog is a treasure trove of funny bits and pieces about working at an Elementary school in Tornado Alley.

Oh Captain at The Life and Thoughts of a Midwest Geek. Baseball fan, teckie, Simpsons fan, father. Good read. And sorry the Twins lost dude.

Honeywine. A Southern girl who I love to read because of her brutal honesty. Life isn't always all roses and lollypops and she gets down the the nitty gritty when writing about it.

Mongoliangirl at The Cusp. Sometimes I laugh so hard I almost pee my pants when I read her blog. I am also reminded when I read her blog about the failures of the Republican Party and also what I dislike about the Democrats. A mishmash of both in one. Overall good reading and thought provoking.

So there are my awards. Congrats to all. Pass on the love.