Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Fart is Funny in Any Language

So ummm I don't know how to put this tactfully, so I guess I will just go with it and see where we end up*. I have gas. Not like, run of the mill everyday mild one fart type of gas. No I am talking heavy duty clear a room I am afraid to go to bed for fear of fumigating my husband in the middle of the night gas. Now add onto this the fact that I have been having stomach issues today. See, I have IBS (that is Irritable Bowel Syndrome for you non-sufferers) and it isn't the version where you get stopped up...oh no it is the version where you couldn't stop it if you tried...if ya get my drift. So needless to say every fart has been an adventure.

Ok, I am actually telling you guys all this for a reason. You see, KiKi has figured out that farts are funny. Since they are funny, she feels the need to announce all her farts. Does she stop at only announcing them when we are in the room? Nope, she will fart in the living room and then walk into whatever room my husband and I are in to announce it to us (my little princess makes me so proud!). She has also taken to announcing everyone elses farts. This put me in a bit of a situation today.

I was watching Domino's kids for the day because they are out of school on holiday and Domino has to work at the barber shop. Well, I got my gas about an hour after I ate lunch, so that was at around 3pm. I had already been running to the bathroom every five min since I had woke up at 6 (thanks sam kitty for that lovely waking up incident..did I mention that I didn't have on any shoes when I was chasing him?) Well the gas kicked in, and KiKi was sitting right next to me.

KiKi- "Mommy! Fart!"
Me- "You farted?"
KiKi- "No, Mommy fart!"

Domino's kids and LaLa look at me and start laughing. Thanks KiKi. There is nothing like being louded out by a toddler. And yes, I really am afraid to go to bed cause I fear that I might kill my husband in his sleep with my stankness. I might just go sleep with LaLa.



* I actually IM'd Captain Dumbass to see if he thought posting about this would be funny or not.

30 comments:

kel said...

ok.. you reminded me of a story my best friend told me. Her daughter was in preschool and they had a party. There were lots of parents around. It was thanksgiving and each child was suppossed to say something they were thankful for. And can you guess what her daughter said?? she said
"I am thankful that my mommy didn't fart in the shower today. It wakes me up."

No kidding.. seriously, how do you even react to a statement like that??

Femin Susan said...

Hi......
Your blog is really interesting... Keep posting.... Wishing you " A Happy New Year''

Jamie said...

Funny. Honest post.

Loved it!

Jamie said...

Funny. Honest post.

Loved it!

Cape Cod Gal said...

Love it! I turn into a 6 year old when it comes to farts. I will laugh until I cry.

In fact, I've been a bit smelly lately, too I think its all the holiday food.

Mama Dawg said...

I love how you turn to Captain Dumbass for advice on a post about farts. Classic.

Sorry for the IBS. Sometimes I think I might need to go get myself checked out for that as well.

splodge said...

One of the classics....Blazing Saddles!

It was a bit like that scene in our house on Boxing day with my son, husband, step-daughters and their boyfriends all decided it would be fun to putrefy the air around me...sigh!

Moonspun said...

I love Kel's story!
Farts are always funny. I wouldn't sleep with KiKi, she might wake up and tell everyone....

Badass Geek said...

Farts are always comedic gold. Sometimes, when we're driving together, if my wife is talking too much, I'll fart so she stops for a minute so I can get a word in edge-wise.

Sprite's Keeper said...

John just taught that to Sprite. I think he screwed up though. Now he has noone to blame it on!

Sus said...

Oh I love you on so many levels! Farts are hilarious!! And what better clip to illustrate that than the one you posted.
My husband and I like to play a game about farts. You can read about it here.

Mary Moore said...

Been there with my daughter as well. A tad embarrassing, but very funny nonetheless. Just think of the memories!

Mary Moore said...

I can also relate to the IBS issues. I too have IBS, possibly Crohn's, and it ain't funny. It controls your life.

ChurchPunkMom said...

yep. flatulence is always funny. sometimes? embarrassingly funny.

my kids have been known to announce my farts while we're out shopping. 'whoa! mom, that stinks!!' uh.. thanks kid. now shut up, or i won't feed you tonight..

colepack said...

Our family is always releasing "air" from some portal. Mostly in public or at the dinner table, so it seems.
Glad to know I am not the only one……..

Irish Gumbo said...

I was pretty certain by the end of this post that Blazing Saddles vid was going to show up. A classic that never fails to induce an attack of the giggles. Ah, flatulence! Guaranteed to "crack" a smile no matter the era or language (See "The Canterbury Tales" - 'He let fly with a fart from his arse' - as an example). Perhaps some potential there as a bioweapon...

Kat, thank you for getting on the bus with me at IG! Welcome! Perchance, what part of England are you in? Cheltenham, maybe? Not to pry, I ask because I am curius as to what might be your closest football (soccer) team.

Slainte!

Cameron said...

At the Stink Off household, when a member farts or burps, we all laugh, then we get the stink-eye from the wife, then we say 'excuse me'.

Captain Dumbass said...

Good for you Kat! Farts are always funny, and being able to guide your child through this important time in her life, why that's just magic.

Heather said...

IBS is no laughing matter, I should know. But farts? Yeah, those are always funny.

mommy dearest said...

Remember when your brother would sit in the back of the van and fart and make us roll down the windows when it was 20 degrees out side.good gracious those where the days. he always had a good laugh.

mom

Tismee2 said...

I'm there with you Kat. I have proctitis which means I have times when I get a build up - lots of times!

Alexander goes round saying "Mum dropped a bomb". He thinks it's hilarious too. Fortunately he seems to know when not to say it, but I just know there will be a first time.

Still it's heartening to know that even HM The Queen farts sometimes - and maybe she has IBS too!

DD2 aka Debonair Dude said...

Hi Kat, I just wanted to stop in and thank you for your visit and your very kind comment.
I be back again often

HeatherPride said...

Little kids love the toots, don't they!! Hee hee, just don't let one fly in the grocery store or you'll be sorry!

Auntie A said...

Well your brother learned it from the best! I called mommie dearest the other day, your dear dad answered, and called for your mom. When she answered, she all of a sudden said "dear lord did you just fart here? Help me I am on a corded phone and can't get away from the stink, I'll call you back." I could just see your dad with a BIG smile on his face.
xoxo
PS- Mommie dearest can strike without warning while shopping, but gives herself away by the smirk on her face.

Jen said...

Well, you can't blame the girl farting is funny.

Braja said...

Oh, no...just when I thought it was safe, you go and mention that you get ADVICE from Captain Dumbass??!!

Sheesh....

:)

Yaya said...

Haha!

Maybe it's all the fish and chips! Lol!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

That is priceless! It can very tricky when out in public now... no crop-dusting or your kiddie might sell you out!!

Thank God I don't have to worry about farts still being hilarious on the other side of the pond. :D

Lola said...

Personally, I only find my farts funny ;)

Chris said...

HAHA!! Hilarious post and hilarious comments to boot! I love a good fart story.