Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sayings at My House..

Ok here are a few sayings you might here around my house and generally they would probably get you a lot of strange looks in public. At my house however, they are commonplace.

1. "Your in some serious Kimchi". This one was brought home courtesy of "The Man". Yes we both know that Kimchi is a Korean food. However around our place it means you are about to be in some serious shit. Example of how this would be used is. "LaLa, you better get in bed or you are gonna be in some serious Kimchi."

2. "Shit the bed" This means something broke. When my washing machine broke. Yeah it shit the bed.

3. "Sneriously" Not a proper word ("The Man" stole it from a work buddy)...it is a substitute for seriously, but it sounds cooler. Generally means "what the hell!!!".

4. "I hate your face!" Not to be taken literally, this usually is a joke or a substitute for "Sneriously" or "dammit", or a thousand different things. Ex....the remote broke, and "The Man" was holding the remote and pulled it close to his face and said "I hate your face!". If anyone has seen "Grandma's Boy" you will understand.

5. "Leaning forward" In Air Force terms, this means thinking ahead. Just don't lean to far forward or you might fall on your face.

6. "I'm out of beer" This will happen on occasion when my hubby wasn't "leaning forward" (refer to number 5). Just kidding mom...I never run out.....hahahahahahahaha. ( "The Man" added that last part mom... dont' kick my butt).

7. "FAIL" If you do something wrong, you FAIL. "The Man" brought this home from work because he had to evaluate other guys doing their job, and if they screwed up they FAIL. Generally done with a karate chop movement toward the failee.

8. "Off base Commander". This is me. Don't confuse your rank for my authority.

9. "Wifed" When the off base commander (see number 8) says that "The Man" can't do something. Ex. "So you want to go to the bar?"...says a buddy. "Naw...I got wifed...can't go"

10. "Do you want a waffle?" Code for "want to get naked?" Ok now this started when we were living with my mom. We were talking about going out to Waffle House, my mom walked in the room right when "The Man" asked me if I wanted a waffle and my mom said "Ewww don't talk about sex with me around!!" Well we weren't talking about it then..but we are now....

11. "Hey Baby" Usually said with the voice of "Butt-head", see number 10.

12. "For F*&@'s Sake"...new term that has sprang up from being in England. Ex. It is Tuesday and the cable won't be installed until NEXT Wed. "For F*&@'s Sake!!"

13. "So There I Was"...usually comes at a point where the conversation is about to turn boring or when there is a lull in the conversation. "The Man" also named our family blog that.

14. "Party pooper" Enough said.

15. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I usually get boo'd when I am #14. "The Man's" best friend Mike...yeah he boooo's me all the time.

16. "Turrets" Not the disease or the word per se but sometimes you will hear a cluster of nonrealted explicative thrown together. Usually when "The Man" is assembling a piece of furniture or putting up blinds. Not something for kids ears. "The Man" says to the kids..."put on your earmuffs". Damn Walmart furniture...it is always crappy instructions or it is missing a part! (sure it is "The Man", sure it is...)

17. "Be Quiet, here comes The Undertaker"...always happens during "Friday Night Smackdown." "The Man" turns up the volume to a very high level on the TV to listen to "Taker's" entrance theme. I groan and leave the room. (I just told him he CAN NOT embed a flippin undertaker youtube video clip). (He is slighly pouting).(OK he wins!)

18. "If it was a snake it would have bit you"...what "The Man" says to me daily when I can't find something that was right in front of me.

19. "Suck it up and be a bulldog" This was stolen from "The Man's" dad from The Citadel Bulldog Football team. Ex. You cut your finger off..."Suck it up and be a Bulldog" He once chose to say this to me during a fight and I didn't talk to him for 3 days.

20. "I've already got one foot in the grave"...."The Man" says this during times when he feels old. Stolen from his dad, it is pessimistic in nature but funny as hell sometimes. Well "The Man" thinks it is funny.......

21. "Is Scrubs on yet?" We love that show...JD and Turk are "The Man's" heroes...right below "Al Bundy" from "Married With Children" (Actually I think "The Man" is actually the real life JD...just wait til Tuesdays post about what happened Friday night...yeah you will so get it then..two words "Air Supply").

(Written together with "The Man" for "poops and giggles")

17 comments:

Sus said...

One time I asked my brother how to spell Tourette's and he said:

T-O-SHIT-R-FUCK-E-T-T-ASS-E.....

ChurchPunkMom said...

Ha! awesome..

ah, waffles.. J and his co-workers always have stories about each other's wives 'makin' waffles' for them..

Ex: "Hey, Joe. Tell your wife thanks for makin' me waffles yesterday.. they were TASTY."

I made waffles today.

Jen said...

that was awesome. LOL! I love the waffle one, I don't think that I am going to be able to look at a waffle the same way again. ;)

colepack said...

Interesting post. Nice to see other households are as f&^&ed as mine :)
Um, I am going to steal a few sayings...... but I will give you one my husband says..... bull-spit. This is used at me often when he does not buy whatever crapolla I am dishing out at the moment.

Heinous said...

I am totally adopting wifed. I use 'if it had teeth it would have bit you.'

Vodka Mom said...

That was a fantastic list! Loved it.

Yaya said...

Great post!

We often say "Ridonkulous" when something is extremely ridiculous!

Hula's Secret Blog said...

Oh man...I need to make waffles today....ovulating.....(don't I sound excited?!)

splodge said...

Hah! “Sneriously” I'm stealing that one.

We say we've been 'Ghenghisized' whenever we're contacted by my sister.

powersplace said...

This gave me my daily laugh and I just felt like I spent the day with you guys! :o) Things get wifed around here too. I'm sure we've gotten a few boos in on Mike as well. I literally did LOL at the bulldog comment during the fight b/c I can picture it. It must be love!

kel said...

Oh my god.. you killed me with this one! I love this idea!! We say some crazy stuff at my house too!! what a cool post.. I love the waffle one!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I love all of them but I think my favorite is "I got wifed..." HILARIOUS!

Middle Aged Woman said...

Ha! I thought the fat guy was The Undertaker! Ha ha!

Lola said...

Funny stuff!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Okay, fellow Scrubs fan, did you see the musical they did last year? I STILL have it saved on my DVR!

Mama Dawg said...

Wanna know something funny? Right when I got to the last one, "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" came on my iPod.

Swear to God.

Cape Cod Gal said...

In my husbands family flipping someone off is a sign of love. The first time I saw him to that to his mother I was speechless. Insults are used as endearments. He often refers to me as "Dorkhead" and calls his brother "Douchbag"

What a twisted family I married into.