Thursday, December 18, 2008

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Happy Birthday Dad! Here is a list of a few things my dad taught me.
1. You can stand up for yourself. Even if you make someone mad, even if you ruffle a few feathers, don't let people walk all over you.
2. The route that seems the shortest on a map isn't always the quickest.
3. It is ok to be different.
4. Have a sense of humor. Things might not work out the way you like, but if you can laugh about it later, then laugh about it now.
5. 12 year old girls are pains in the ass. They like to gossip, talk about boys and are generally not interested in softball practice.
6. How to drive a manual transmission car. Ok well maybe he didn't so much teach me, but he didn't kick my butt when I threw it into neutral, got out and told him "If you can do it so well, then you do it!"
7. Going to a movie by yourself is better than sitting on your butt at home and doing nothing. Even if the movie sucks, at least you got out of the house.
8. Argue til your blue in the face, then argue some more.
9. Even the biggest men are gigantic babies when they are sick.
10. Star Trek is awesome.
11. Star Wars is awesome!
12. Just try everything on your plate, you never know what you might actually like.
13. Miracle Whip is nasty (even though he likes it).
14. If you are in a fight, make sure you get the last lick in.
15. Don't fight someone unless you know you will win.
16. When you hit an animal in the road, make sure you check your tires when you get home to make sure there isn't guts on them.
17. Always root for the Redskins or anyone who is playing against the Cowboys.
18. Soccer is a communist sport because you can't use your hands.
19. Sometimes it is just better to hire someone who knows what they are doing than do it yourself.
20. Palmetto trees need to be planted further away from the driveway than you think they need to be planted (one needs to see my parents driveway to truly understand the enormity of this).

For all these life lessons, Dad, thank you. Oh and "The Man" still says that I follow too closely when I drive and slam on breaks at the last possible second. I totally think he is full of crap. I mean, you taught me how to drive so surely there is no way that I drive like a bat out of hell.

18 comments:

Heinous said...

All excellent lessons. He sounds like a great man. I'll have you know that I refuse to acknowledge colds when I have them. If I deny their existence, they don't affect me, right?

As far as 'The Man,' as long as you can stop in time, you're fine.

Cameron said...

Sounds like a very wise man. Especially the part about checking for animal guts on your tires, excellent idea! ;)

for a different kind of girl said...

This is great, and these are some excellent lessons (even if you don't like Miracle Whip, which my own father taught me to love because, wow, we'd have it on a lot of stuff! Peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches are the bomb!)!

Happy birthday to your Dad!

Comedy Goddess said...

If I could get through doing a post like this without crying I would. Brave girl!

Mama Dawg said...

Happy b-day Kat's Dad!

kel said...

Great lessons! Yay for daddies!

beth said...

#18 is a crack-up and is so true of the American Man's misunderstanding of the best game in the world. hehe.

Cat said...

Great tribute! I have to ask...if there ARE guts on your tires, what do you do to remove them? And why does it matter if they're there?

Michele said...

Miracle Whip is nasty!
Aren't Dads great!


Happy Birthday to your Dad.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Great lessons! Happy birthday, Kat's dad!

Cape Cod Gal said...

Aw! He sounds like my Dad....except for the palmetto trees. I have no idea what those are.

Captain Dumbass said...

Happy Birthday Kat's dad!

Sus said...

I go to movies by myself, all the time. It's actually one of my favorite things to do.

Miss Grace said...

Happy birthday to your dad! He sounds like he's really taught you some good stuff!

Auntie A said...

Cape cod gal...palmetto trees are short palm trees, so imagine parking in the driveway and getting out in the top of one!!!
Kat, your Mom said she has been married to your Dad for almost 30 years and just found out he actually likes peanut butter, jelly and miricle whip sandwiches alot, he's a "different kind of guy."
xoxox
AA

Yaya said...

Happy Birthday Kat's Daddy!

Great list! He sounds like a great Dad!

Lola said...

Great list! I wish I had my dad to teach me some of those things. Happy birthday, Kat's Dad!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

That's some great Daddy Love.

Ellie