Happy Birthday Dad! Here is a list of a few things my dad taught me.
1. You can stand up for yourself. Even if you make someone mad, even if you ruffle a few feathers, don't let people walk all over you.
2. The route that seems the shortest on a map isn't always the quickest.
3. It is ok to be different.
4. Have a sense of humor. Things might not work out the way you like, but if you can laugh about it later, then laugh about it now.
5. 12 year old girls are pains in the ass. They like to gossip, talk about boys and are generally not interested in softball practice.
6. How to drive a manual transmission car. Ok well maybe he didn't so much teach me, but he didn't kick my butt when I threw it into neutral, got out and told him "If you can do it so well, then you do it!"
7. Going to a movie by yourself is better than sitting on your butt at home and doing nothing. Even if the movie sucks, at least you got out of the house.
8. Argue til your blue in the face, then argue some more.
9. Even the biggest men are gigantic babies when they are sick.
10. Star Trek is awesome.
11. Star Wars is awesome!
12. Just try everything on your plate, you never know what you might actually like.
13. Miracle Whip is nasty (even though he likes it).
14. If you are in a fight, make sure you get the last lick in.
15. Don't fight someone unless you know you will win.
16. When you hit an animal in the road, make sure you check your tires when you get home to make sure there isn't guts on them.
17. Always root for the Redskins or anyone who is playing against the Cowboys.
18. Soccer is a communist sport because you can't use your hands.
19. Sometimes it is just better to hire someone who knows what they are doing than do it yourself.
20. Palmetto trees need to be planted further away from the driveway than you think they need to be planted (one needs to see my parents driveway to truly understand the enormity of this).
For all these life lessons, Dad, thank you. Oh and "The Man" still says that I follow too closely when I drive and slam on breaks at the last possible second. I totally think he is full of crap. I mean, you taught me how to drive so surely there is no way that I drive like a bat out of hell.