Mommy Neurosis

It's not very often that my neurotic mommy side completely takes hold and I have a complete panic attack about things. However, this morning it did. Today, KiKi was on the bus for the very first time. My baby is getting on the bus! Of course when I realized all this I had a complete melt down. Is the bus driver just going to throw her on the playground and hope that she makes it to her class? Will she remember to line up with her class? Will she forget her things on the playground? Will she cry? Will she wonder where I am? Gah!!!!

So of course I did what any logical parent who is having a massive crisis of convictions does, I called my best friend who's child is also on the bus and made her ask her daughter to look out for my daughter. Then I made LaLa promise that she wouldn't abandon her sister on the playground and look out for her. Then I talked to KiKi and explained that I wouldn't be there and that she was a big girl and that she needed to find her teacher on the playground.

I am still sitting here panicking a bit. I am sure she will be fine. I am still panicking though. She's gonna be OK, right?

Dear So and So...Little Ball of Stress

Dear LaLa,

When I tell you to quit horsing around at breakfast time I am serious. I don't know why you are so hyper in the morning, but goodness gracious child my brain can't cope. Please just sit there and eat your breakfast like a mindless zombie like other people in the morning. Or at least wait until I have had a cup of coffee before you kick off.

Love, Your Mother Who Is NOT A Morning Person
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Dear Brain,

When you give me weird dreams don't expect me not to act on them.

Writing Furiously, Kat
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Dear Sam Kitty (Ninja Cat),

When I pull into the driveway it is not a good time to run directly *at* the car. You see those big round black things? They're called tires and they will run you down. Mind you I wouldn't run you down on purpose, but running at the car is a bad idea. Bad bad bad bad idea.

Love, The Woman Who Feeds You

PS- You still haven't stopped that moaning meow that we talked about last week. We need to work on that, k?
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Dear KiKi,

I know you're not really *that* "sick" but we all need mental health days off school. You're lucky I'm a softie.

Love, Mom
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Dear PTA,

I think next year we need more worker bees and less queen bees if you're getting my drift. I know it is good to have a strong personality, but I think we all need to tone it down a bit and find one or two strong leaders. I think it would cut down on a lot of hurt feelings and miscommunication.

Just a thought, Kat
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Dear Readers,

If you have any letters of your own, don't forget to link up!

Love, Kat
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Baseball Season

I remember as a child, every spring piling into my mother's van and heading to the ball fields. It was an important time of the year to me a child. I loved sports. I grew up in a household where playing sports was important. We watched a lot of sports on television (football being my favorite-American football, not soccer mind you)(My dad called Soccer a communist sport because you couldn't use your hands)(It was the 80s after all). Playing sports however was the biggest thrill. I loved starting off each year by going to the sports store and picking out a new glove, some cleats (plastic spikes shoes to help keep your grip on the dirt) and trying out every single bat in the store- even though I knew there was no way we were getting a new bat too.

Baseball season was fun. I loved every second of it. It didn't matter if it was sitting there in the grueling hot sun watching my younger brothers game, with a snow cone slowly melting down my arm, or playing in a game of my own; it was all fun. I also made a ton of new friends each summer and would spend time between games down by the creek that ran along next to the fields skipping rocks and finding crayfish with my new friends. Then of course getting yelled at by my mom for coming back to where the adults were sitting soaking wet. As kids do.

So, this year I signed LaLa up to play baseball. I think I am almost more excited than she is! She and I have been spending a bit of time in the afternoons in the backyard practicing her batting stance, and hitting the ball. She is actually getting pretty good at making contact with the ball and of course will be hitting home runs in no time. However, much to my chagrin she has taken to calling baseball...cricket. My poor confused child.

So yesterday evening I took her out into the back yard again for more hitting practice and tried to explain the rules of baseball. It was a bit like the comedy classic bit "Who's on First" by Abbot and Costello.



Me- "So if you get 4 balls, you remember pitches that go outside the strike zone that you don't swing at, you get to walk to first base."

Her- "Why would I want go to first base?"

Me- "Because that's how you score runs."

Her- "Which way do I run?"

Me- "To first base"

Aye yai yai...I have a lot more explaining to do to her. You better believe that I will be in the stands though, cheering on my poor confused daughter- who is destined to play first base for the Chicago Cubs (when baseball starts signing girls)- and doing my best Harry Caray impressions.

Holy Cow!!!!




Here's to Baseball season.

SIlent Sunday

Snippits from Sunday

Sitting at the table at a restaurant my husband and daughter were having a bit of banter about the trampoline moves she had taught him the day before. She and her friends have come up with names of "crack the egg" and "flip the bacon" for two of the moves.

La-"YEAH and I showed you how to crack the egg and flip the bacon!!
The Man- "Maybe one day I will show you how to cut the cheese.

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The Man, the girls and I went in search of movies to rent after dinner.

LaLa scanning and sounding out a title on the shelf "People....I've...Sleept...With"
Me- "Move along.... you don't need to see that"
LaLa Still looking at movies "Jjjjaaaaackass 3"
Me- "Man, there are really some times I wish you still couldn't read."
*man behind me starts sniggering*

Sugar and Spice? My Left Foot, Sugar and Spice.

I have now made LaLa leave the dinner table twice because of bad manners. My generally well behaved child has horrible table manners. It hasn't always been like this. She knows better. I guess I could blame it on her age, but I think it has more to do with the fact that other than her best girl friend, she likes to chum around with the boys at school. And boys think that burps are funny.

I don't. OK, if you can't help it, like if you have drank a fizzy drink, a little burp and an excuse me don't bother me at all. However, she has started doing ginormous earth shattering burps at the dinner table and then cackling in her chair like it is the funniest thing ever. At first I would just tell her "say excuse me", which then progressed to "that's gross, you need to say excuse me" to "that is really gross lala, if you do it again you're going to be in trouble" and now to "get up from the dinner table and go sit on your bed, I can't handle you being gross while I am eating". She is still cackling about it by the way. It doesn't seem to faze her that she is getting in trouble.

This behavior is also rubbing off on KiKi of course, because LaLa is her hero. She also however says sorry when I give her the "I'm very cross" look, so there is hope still to nip this one in the bud. I am just at a loss as to what to do with LaLa now. What would your next move be? I thought little girls were supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, not hot gas and apparently amazing abdominal strength.

Dear So and So...Red Nose Day

It's Friday! It is also Red Nose Day in the UK. For those of you not in the know, Red Nose Day is the day that the UK bands together to support Comic Relief a charity that works both in the UK and in Africa. Happy Red Nose Day! Please be generous.

Dear Chris Moyles (presenter on Radio 1),

I cannot believe that you and Comedy Dave have been on the radio for well over 50 hours. I am truly impressed. You have already raised over £1.8 for Comic Relief. That is astounding! Well done!!!

A Person With New Found Respect, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

You look adorable in your new glasses. However, you must wear them with the arms of the glasses going underneath your hair and around your ears. When you put them over your hair, it smashes your hair to your head and you kinda look like a dork...and I am saying that as a loving mother. I know you are seven, this is new, and you don't know any better.

Just Don't Want You To Get Made Fun Of, Mom



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Dear Corrupt Libyan Regime,

Game Over.

Kat
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Dear Readers,

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. If you have letters to add, please link up!

Love, Kat
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Fleeting Moments

What does a mother feel when she realizes that her children are maturing right before her eyes? Is it a sense of pride? I just know that in the last couple of days I have witnessed my girls growing right before my eyes and it feels wonderful.

On Sunday, LaLa came down with a rash from head to toe. Normally this would be cause in her mind to send her into fits of crying. She would rage against being sick and turn her inner frustration into outward frustration causing everyone around her to be as miserable as she feels. This time it was different. She took it in stride. She sat in the waiting room of the emergency room patiently, even though she was so itchy she could barely stand to be in her own skin. She didn't complain much. She kept her self preoccupied by reading books and coloring in order to avoid being consumed by the uncomfortableness of the situation. I was proud. I was so incredibly proud of her.

Then today, KiKi relayed a story about how LaLa's best friend had asked where LaLa was because obviously she wasn't in school. Apparently, KiKi has grown up to the point where she can relay a story clearly enough to her peers that they know exactly what she is talking about. It was so clear that LaLa's mate's mother sent me a message via facebook to check to see how she was getting on. I was impressed. We parents know that getting a story straight out of a four year old sometimes can be like pulling crocodile teeth. I am proud of her.

Sometimes I think that I get so caught up in everyday activities that I miss little moments like these to be proud of. Sometimes I don't take the time to see my little ones growing up before my eyes. I have always had people tell me with wistfulness in their eyes recalling their own children growing up "It goes by so quickly" and guess what? It does. I really does go by so quickly.

At A Crossroad

These are some of the quotes I have heard about LaLa since the day she was born:

"Does she ever slow down?"
"She is a lovely child, but how do you deal with the energy?"
"I don't know how you do it. I couldn't."
"I wish I had half her energy!"

Believe me, I wish I had half of her energy too! Here's the thing, I for a long time have suspected that LaLa is not like most children. She is impetuous, has a ton of energy and frankly, the attention span of a gnat. I have also chalked a lot of that up to her age. I have told myself over and over again, "She'll grow out of it," and "A lot of kids can't sit still when they get home from school." Then I see her at a party of her peers and she is still running circles around them. The last party was a disco and she didn't stop dancing a single time. Most of the other kids took breaks from time to time to socialize, La only stopped to get a drink and then carried on dancing, sometimes by herself and sometimes with a group of her girlfriends.

Those of you who have read my blog for a long time know that I have long suspected that she has ADHD, but I am extremely reluctant to medicate. I don't want to change her personality and zombie her. However, upon her recent "well child" appointment with her pediatrician, he brought up the subject of her over activity. I can't remember his exact quote but it was somewhere along the lines of "Wow, she is a darling child but I don't know how you deal with this level of energy all the time!" I wasn't offended by the statement, because as I said, I have heard it before and I have often asked myself the same question. Then I brought up the fact that at 4 years old she was seen by a child psychologist in the US who thought that she may have ADHD, but it was dismissed by her teachers once she started school in the UK. On top of that she makes very good grades, but is a nightmare at home with her behavior.

Understand, I love love love love my daughter. I love her with every fiber of my being. I just don't understand her motivation 99% of the time. I don't understand why when I ask her to get her sock and shoes on so that we can leave the house she goes in her room, forgets why she is there and then comes back with her Barbies, ready to go out and about completely forgetting shoes and socks are required. I don't understand why she can't just walk instead of twirling as she walks all the time. I don't understand why when I ask her to do a small thing she doesn't do it or forgets that I asked her to do it. I am tired of shouting. I am tired of her telling me that I shout too much. I don't want to be the shouty mom. I don't want her to grow up to hate me because I didn't shout at her sister nearly as much as I do at her.

Here is my problem, I hate the idea of medicating her. My husband doesn't believe in ADHD and flat out refuses to even entertain the idea of medicating her. Right now though, I am in a downward spiral. I don't know what to do. Do I let her continue on because her grades are great or do I have her tested for ADHD. I don't know the answer. I don't expect you guys to give me the answer either. I just want to yell it off of my little cliff into the great void of cyberspace.

Dear So and So...Good Morning Pfft!!!

It's Friday! Time for Dear So and So... Are you ready to get out your weekly frustrations as much as I am?? In the words of the immortal Diddy "Let's Go!!!!!!"


Dear 7am,

I hate you. I hate you with the fire of 1000 suns.

Still Sleepy, Kat
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Dear Alarm Clock,

You and I have a tenuous relationship to say the least. You wake me up in the morning. I cuss you out. You forget to wake me in the morning. I cuss you out. You keep bugging me every five minutes. I cuss you out. Just remember, no matter what I say I am actually grateful that you wake me up and I really hate 7 am more than you.

Sorry for the Foul Language, Kat
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Dear Weather in My Part of the UK,

Why is everyone else getting snow and I am getting rain? I am starting to think there is some sort of unusual weather phenomenon that is occurring and my part of England is destined to say unsnowed upon. It isn't fair. I want a snow day. See previous letters for the reason why. (I'm looking at you 7am).

Love, Kat
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Dear KiKi,

If I catch you riding your scooter in the house one more time I am going to give it to the charity shop. Actually, I'm not, idol threat. I will put it on top of the wardrobe and not let you even look at it though! HaHa take that mouthy four year old!

Love, Mom
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Dear LaLa,

If I had known that threatening to not take you roller skating on Friday would get you to actually go to sleep on time and stay in your own bed all night I would have used it a lot sooner. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out! Well played, La, well played.

Love, Mom
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Dear Readers,

I hope you all had a really Happy New Year. If you however have some gripes about how this year is starting off so far, be sure to write your own Dear So and So letters. If you have already wrote your letters be sure to link up!

Love, Kat
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We're In For A Rude Awakening

We (we, meaning LaLa and I) are in for a rude awakening once school starts back up. She and I have both been staying up entirely too late at night. I have to admit, she is doing worse on the bedtime front than I am. She has been stalling bedtime until nearly 11pm for the last week. I am an adult, so I am allowed to stay up til 1am if I want. She is a child and should be in bed no later than 8:30pm tops (in my perfect world where there are unicorns, rainbows, pink kittens and sparkles all the time).

To say that we have been sleeping in a little would be an understatement. We haven't been getting out of bed until the God awful entirely too early hour of nearly 10am for the last week. I haven't been setting my alarm clock and I don't get out of bed until one of my kids prods me if my alarm isn't set. KiKi has been getting up at her normal weekend time of about 8:30-9am. However, KiKi isn't a kid that will prod me to get out of bed. She prefers to play quietly in her room until I get out of bed (the child is an angel, seriously, doesn't get into things, just plays in her room). So, I sleep. Then I get a crack of daylight peeking through my blackout curtains and know that it is entirely too late in the morning to be sleeping. Let's face it folks, I live in England, if there is light coming through your curtains on a winter morning, it is well past 9am. Then I prod LaLa out of bed, with her moaning about how she is "exhausted" and needs "just a few more minutes" .

So what I am basically trying to say is....Tuesday, January 4th, when the kids go back to school, LaLa and I are going to be in a world of hurt at 7am when the alarm clock goes off. Who wants to bet we are late to school?

Things I Learned Over Christmas

I had a wonderful Christmas and here is a list of things I have learned over this holiday...with pictures (of course).

1) It is impossible to keep the kids away from their stocking while their dad is in the loo.



2) Santa is goooooood.



3) Zhu-Zhu pets look like prey to Sam Kitty.



4) Bags are good hiding places.



5) Cooking for 16 people isn't all that bad. I might moan about it, but I secretly loved every minute of it PLUS it got me out of most of the house cleaning.



6) Ethan does smile every once in a while.



7) Kevin might be a pirate.



8) Friends are the family you choose.



(That's Robin and Debbie. They're pretty damn awesome.)

What I Am Doing on Saturday

The cashier today raised her eyebrow at me today when I plopped the My Little Pony pinata up next to the till. Then with horror she said “Please don't tell me you are having a birthday party this close to Christmas!?!” Well, yes, actually I am. You see, my daughter didn't have the choice to plan her birthdate. As luck had it, she was born three days before Christmas. She is my lovely Christmas baby. Guess what? She also deserves to have a birthday party just as much as every other child on this planet and I refuse to short change her just because her birthday falls in a very busy and money strapped time of the year. So, yes, I am buying her a My Little Pony pinata for her party.

On Saturday my house will be filled to the gills with roughly 15 invited children and probably most of their parents. We will eat pizza, play party games, have the My Little Pony pinata stuffed with sweets, dance, and have cake. I am also baking the cake. My daughter will be deliriously happy. I might be certifiably insane by the end of the party. However, the strain of organizing a party near Christmas is a small price to pay for the smiles I will receive on Saturday. I think that is a very fair trade.

Dear So and So...Ooooo You're my Best Friend

Hey! It's time for Dear So and So....you ready???

Dear Those in Car Parks,

Yes, I have had many gripes about parking areas in the years past. However, I must point out that if parking is in really close quarters you shouldn't open your door as fast as possible. My poor Jeep does not appreciate the paint transfer.

Just Pointing Out Common Courtesy, Kat
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Dear Beast,

You kinda smell like Fritos. Maybe it is time for a bath?

Your Human Mama, Kat
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Dear Sam Kitty,

Yes, it really is that cold outside. Yes, that is ice. Sorry for the inconvenience, Your Highness.

Love, That Woman Who Feeds You, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

As much as I am tickled pink that you are enamoured with math, really, I am, 10pm is not the time to be sneaking in in extra math exercises. You are more than welcome to do math problems when you get home, before school....well, basically anytime other than when you are supposed to be sleeping. Falling asleep in class is counter productive, trust me on this.

Love, Mom
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Dear Electric Company,

I swear all these lights that are on are not my fault. They are also not the fault of the shorter winter days. They are the fault of my 4 year old daughter who insists upon turning on the lights in every single room she enters. Bill her.

Fed Up, Kat
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Dear Readers,

Please don't forget to link up your letters!!!

Love, Kat

Dear So and So....This One's For LaLa

Dear LaLa,

I understand that what you are wearing used to be a dress, but it shrank in the wash and is now so short that the only way you can wear it is as a shirt. I don't care if you are going to wear tights under it! If you bend over the bottom of the "dress" comes halfway up your bum and there is no way on earth I am letting you out of the house like that! So, go put on a pair of jeans under it and then you may wear it. Sorry, I know you are anti-jeans but it is just too damn bad.

Love, The Woman You Call Mum Who Won't Let You Out of the House Looking Like A Stripper
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Dear LaLa,

I don't know what your obsession with playing in the bathroom sink is about but you need to stop it. I have little bits of wet toilet paper stuck everywhere like spitballs and it is really ticking me off. Quit.

Love, That Woman You Call Mum Who is Constantly Yelling at You to Get Out of the Bathroom
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Dear LaLa,

I am so proud of you! Well done on the class award for Maths. You are so smart!

Love, Mom
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Dear LaLa,

I would like to get out of the house on time this morning so please turn off the Wii and put your shoes on like I have told you 50 million times.

Love, Mom
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Dear Readers,

If you have a Dear So and So...post that you would like to link up, please do.

Weekend Safety Briefing: Have Fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Love, Kat
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My Own Florence Nightingale

LaLa has become obsessed with the idea of becoming a nurse when she grows up. I think it is great that she would like to nurture people back to health and am fully behind her if this is what she decides to be when she grows up. However, I think she has a very...odd...a bit off...view of what nurses are. See, she has really never had very much interaction with nurses. She has always been very healthy and the only times she has really seen nurses are when they take her weight and temperature at the doctors office.

Recently, she did a report on Florence Nightingale. This is how she has formed her opinion of nurses. Now, she has pretty much turned her bedroom into a Crimean War field hospital. She has taken to wearing long dresses with shirts tied around the waist as an apron. Barbies are her patients. They are laid out on her bed, like a gigantic ward floor, side to side with blankets covering them up to their necks. I half expect to go into her room and find her doing amputations with Chloroform as the anaesthetic and giving Laudanum for pain.

Also, I am pretty sure she thinks she is British.

Umm...nooo...excuse me.

I was sitting at the table this morning after breakfast, well after the children ate their breakfast, drinking a Cherry Coke Zero (breakfast of champions) and I got this huge air bubble trapped in my tummy. You know what I am talking about. One of those air bubbles that is going to come out no matter what you do to stop it.

BURP!

"Dad, was that you?!!!" LaLa yelled from the living room.

"Ummm...no. Dad already went to bed. Excuse me."

"But Mom, (she actually said Mum but I still refuse to acknowledge that) only boys burp like that!"

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In other news today the girls have to dress up as characters from their favorite books at school. KiKi is being Alice in Wonderland and LaLa is being Ariel from The Little Mermaid (cause I couldn't find any other costume without a stain on it).




After this picture of the girls was taken, LaLa went and nicked a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero (my precious) when she thought my back was turned. Cheeky monkey!

Conversation With LaLa

So LaLa and I are sitting at the table while she is doing her reading homework when she pipes up with, "So Chuck said that I need to decide if I want to marry him or Mark," and then kept doing her homework.

Me- "Well you need to tell Chuck that you are a free spirit who does not feel the need at this age to be tied down by the constraints of marriage"

LaLa- "What's a free spirit?"

Me- "A person who does what they like when they like"

La- "Oh"

Me (in my head)- so she wants to know what a free spirit is but has no questions about the word constraint.......

La- "I might want to marry Callum anyways"

Me- "It's good to keep your options open."

*All other kids names made up

RTT-Swirly Thoughts

Good morning ladies and gents. I haven't don't Random Tuesday Thoughts in a while so I thought I would give it a go and see what materializes. It is like Forest Gump said "Life like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get," only with thoughts. Oh and go visit the grand dame of RTT Keely. She doesn't bite...hard.



- At night I swear I am going to go to bed by 10pm and never make it there before midnight. Ever. You know what they say about the road to hell* and all... hell being the next morning when I have to wake up at 7am.

- Last night I got a horrible belly ache around 9pm. I then sat on the couch willing myself not to be sick whist watching Britain's Next Top Model, Dating in the Dark and then some documentary about the lack of equality in the British school system...no wonder I was so ill.

- My washing machine is on the fritz. I can't call the repair man until this next load of laundry is finished washing though because it has all my jeans in it. Can't go pick up KiKi in my knickers (fortunately for all those around me).

- It took me 2 hours to help clean** LaLa's room last night. Maybe inheriting that huge tub of Littlest Pet Shop toys from my friends tween was a bad idea. There is around 150 of JUST the animals not including all their little accessories. Pain in my rear. Just say "no" to LPS.

- KiKi got her first reading book with words. The second time reading through it she started to recognize the words mum, and, & dad by sight. W00t!!

- LaLa is studying Pablo Picasso at school right now. She spent two days drawing a "Picasso" picture for her teacher, not because she was assigned to do so, but because she wanted to. It was really sweet this morning when she presented it to her teacher and her teacher exclaimed "What a beautiful Picasso!!"

- Rain rain go away, come again another day. Seriously. I can't handle anymore rain right now. Plus it is destroying the bottom cuffs of my jeans....hence why all pairs of my jeans are in the wash.

*The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

**By help clean I mean I sat the the middle of the floor and directed traffic***

*** By directing traffic I mean I barked orders at LaLa and reminded her that her Wii was going to be mine until she got her room clean and kept it clean for a week.

Even Breakfast is Never Dull

Sitting at the breakfast table this morning....

LaLa- Hey Mom, did you know... (her famous phrase)
Me- Huh?
La- Did you know, if you point your middle finger in the air you're saying all the bad words in the world.
Me- *looking up in disbelief* Well, could you not do it at the breakfast table?
Her- *looking sheepish puts down her middle finger*