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Friday, September 30, 2011

Dear So and So...Peeves

Dear World,

I thought maybe today I would just tell you about a few of the things that peeve me. They aren't major annoyances, just things that make 1) me get a tick in the corner of my eye 2) me want to shout at the person who does it.

Fair warning, it hasn't been a good week so these may end up being more than little niggling problems. I may just burst out into a full on rant. These things happen.

Consider Yourself Warned, Kat

Dear People Who Swerve around Speed Bumps,

I probably should just laugh this off but I can't. See the whole logic behind your idea is flawed. You see, when you swerve around a speed bump that goes across the entirety of the road (and only leaves a foot on either side before the curb) it makes no sense at all; you're still going to get bumped. The only difference is that only one set of tires won't get bumped. In fact the only set of tires that is going to get bumped is ones on the driver's side. So because one side is level with the road and the other set is going higher, you're actually probably getting bumped worse than if you had continued to drive straight. I guess what really annoys me is that you are slowing down more to swerve that if you had just gone over the bump like a normal person. It really just makes me want to roll down my window and shout that your car isn't as nice as you think it is. It isn't so special that a little bump is going to make it fall apart. If it is that flimsy then maybe it shouldn't be on the road.

Keep This In Mind, Kat

Dear People Who Don't Look Before Entering Roundabouts,

There is this one roundabout near my house that I have to make a u-turn on regularly (because to get onto the military base you can't turn right, you have to go down to the roundabout and turn around so that you can make a left hand turn)(yes this was piss poor planning on both the military and the Department of Transport's part) and I have nearly gotten side swiped as I have made this turn on several occasions. Let's be clear, if a person still has their indicator/blinker on it means that they are still turning. I am not the only person who makes a u-turn at this roundabout, it is done by hundreds of people each day. Let's at least have a glimpse at who is in the roundabout before you barrel through it like a bat out of hell. This might be a worse problem where I am because of the high population of Americans (that haven't been in this country for very long) who are not used to roundabouts, which I am just guessing close their eyes as they go into the roundabouts and pray they aren't hit. Just sayin'.

Look THEN Go, Kat

Dear Taxi Driver Who Picks Up My Kids In The Morning,

I know that you see hundreds of people a week and talking to them all can be tiresome. However I have seen you for the past 5 days and you still haven't even told me your name. Now, I appreciate that it is early and the morning and I probably look a little like death warmed over with my hair a mess and in my track bottoms and hoodie, but common sense would say that because you will be transporting my kids to school for the foreseeable future, you might want to at least say something other than "I will be here at 8.40 to pick the children up" a "Hi, I am so and so" would be nice. I am not all that picky; I just want to know your name.

Thanks For That, Kat

Dear WiFi Fairies,

I know my router is a bit damaged. It got dropped off the window ledge and the front is falling off a bit, but it still works! Please quit making it drop my wireless signal! It usually does it when I am in the middle of something important and tedious like paying bills or playing Pioneerville. Don't judge me. Now quit making my wireless signal drop!!

I mean it!, Kat

Dear People Who Chew Gum Loudly,

You are not a cow. I don't want to hear you chewing. I don't want to see you chewing. Actually, if you have this problem, could you just not chew gum at all? I know I picked up this pet peeve from my Aunt A who used to yell at my brother for doing it, and now it is all in my head. I really just want to smack you on the back of the head when I hear you smacking your gum. It's THAT annoying.

Fair Warning, Kat

Dear Readers,

I hope you have had a better week than me! Have a wonderful and safe weekend. If you are going to London for the MADs, please remember to misbehave for me.

Love, Kat