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Friday, October 28, 2011

Dear So and So...The Answer Is The Same

Dear Scrap Metal/ Old Car Collectors,

The answer is the same that it has been for the last few months. The Pajero that is sitting in my driveway is already sold. I sold it to a friend and told him he could keep it here until he had the time to fix it up and get it back on the road. It is not for sale. You cannot buy it from me and quite frankly you lot are really dodgy. Could you please stop knocking on my door and asking to buy the damn car. I am pretty sure it was one of you lot who have stolen my gate (yes, my gate was stolen, my lawn mower, my weedwacker/ strimmer, ax and lawnmower gas. You are lucky I don't call the police each time you show up. Also, it is completely absurd to ring my doorbell at 9am. Don't you know it is half term break?

Go Away and Don't Come Back!, Kat

Dear Friend Who Bought The Pajero,

Come get the bloody thing. I am sick of dodgy people stopping by my house. I swear they are using the car as an excuse to case my house for future robberies.

Thanks, Kat

Dear Powers That Be,

I know the husbands extension has made it past the commander; can we get it rubber stamped yet?

Pretty pretty please, Kat

PS- Did you notice I used a semi colon correctly? That alone should make you approve it.

Dear House Elves,

I have my friend Liz, aka Violet Posy, coming over today for dinner. Could you please make sure the house is tidy? If not I am actually going to have to do it myself and I really don't feel like it. You know these half term breaks really take it out of me.

Thanks A Million, Kat

Dear Children of Mine (and BFF),

I know you three are really hyper, but could we please not destroy the house. I already have enough things to do without you making my job harder. That doesn't mean we can't have fun, but it means that we can have tidy fun. Pleeeeeease?

Love, Mom (or Kat)

Dear Readers,

If you have your own letter please link up! Have a safe and spooky weekend!

Love, Kat