It Was An Accident I Swear!

The first thing you all need to know is that I have a major fear of authority.  I am seriously scared of pissing off "The Man"(not as in my husband.  I am perfectly good at doing that on a regular basis) or any sort of person with even the slightest bit of authority over my life.  So when it came time to renew my visa to stay in the UK, I made sure that I started it early so that I wouldn't accidentally overstay. 

So my husband got the forms from the passport/visa office on base and sent them to me and I filled them out and went into the office and they told me that the forms were out of date and that the UK Home Office had changed the forms.  So I filled out the new 23 pages of forms.  While I was filling out the new forms I took a look at the old visa inside my passport only to have one of those moments where my stomach literally shot into my throat and I thought I was going to heave up my dinner onto my ugly kitchen carpet. 

My visa had expired.  In NOVEMBER.  I am here illegally. 

So at this point I did what any sane person would do.  I started panicking.  First I told my husband, who wasn't amused.  He gave me the stern "how the hell did this happen?" face.  Then I called my best friend who tried to reassure me that everything would be fine surely.  Then I called Liz who told me that "We never throw anyone out".  Skyped with Nickie who kinda helped me not panic so much by making me laugh and distracting me by making rude cucumber jokes while she was cooking.  And then internally freaked out until this morning when the realization that I had to go into the passport office and admit that my paperwork and my children's paperwork was immensely screwed up.  The whole time thinking "They're gonna deport me!" 

So I Facebook messaged Liz and jokingly asked if she knew anyone who sold Xanex on the down low.  To which she replied "We're British, we just drink gin." And I told her that I couldn't drink gin because I was going to have to drive to base and didn't need to get nicked for a drink driving offense on the way down to sort out my visa issues because I didn't want to end up as a story plastered across the front page of the Daily Mail.  Which she acknowledged was a fair point.  To be fair though, I bet I could have sold my story for a good bit of money and taken some properly trashy photographs of me with my boobs hanging out and a cigarette in my hand for the front page. 

So I headed down to the passport office still feeling like I was going to be sick on my nice semi new black flats.  I filled out my information on the computer queuing system and when the lady called me to be seen I walked up and said "I have a big big big problem.  My visa has expired and I didn't realize it til I was filling out my visa extension paperwork because..." and then she interrupted me and said "because your orders said you were here for four years and your visa was only issued for three years.  Don't worry you won't be deported."  And that is when the whole situation became kinda funny for me and I didn't feel sick anymore.

Apparently the consulate in New York doesn't know how to read American military orders very well and this has happened a number of times.  Now I don't feel so special. 

But since I am still scared of "The Man" I am going to distract them with cute pictures of our new kitten, Mr Tibbs, until I am legal in about 12 weeks give or take depending on the bureaucracy involved.  The paperwork is in the mail so to speak.

Dear So and So...I Told Ya So

Dear KiKi,

Dude, that was not a "I just fart". Not. At. All.

Love the Chief Butt Wiper, Mom

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Dear Vanish Carpet Cleaner,

Waste of money. Whole bottle, no "extra" dirt out of the carpets. You stink.

Dissatisfied Customer, Kat

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Dear 409 Carpet Cleaner,

You may take a little extra elbow grease, but ya work. Thanks.

Happy Customer, Kat

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Dear Finance Dept.,

Screw you and your bureaucracy. It's been 2 months since Sweden already. That is all.

Where's my Money, Kat

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Dear Readers,

Grab the button from the sidebar, tell off those who annoy you, praise those who need praise and then link up with Mr. Linky.

Love Ya Mean It, Kat

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All the Little Pieces

I am feeling much relieved today. Things are have finally started swinging in my families favor. We have a lease signed and keys to our new house. We don't have furniture yet, but that is coming on Friday. Sam the cat has also been rescued liberated picked up from kitty prison quarantine. I now have all my family on British soil legally. Huzzah!

It was no small feat if you remember correctly. I had the NW agent from hell. This lady was no picnic and it almost took an act of God to actually get my animals into the country. When I called the kennel to see if my animals had made it over to the UK I was actually shocked that they had arrived. Today was finally the day that I could go pick up Sam. I was supposed to do it yesterday, but in order to get everything accomplished to move into the house by Friday, we had to postpone. I felt like such a bad mother calling yesterday and asking Steve, the man who owns the kennel if he would mind keeping my Sammy for another night. He of course said it would be fine and actually suggested it would be better in the long run because they were expecting nasty rain the whole day at the kennel.

Today turned into a lovely drive through the countryside. The kids slept most of the way up to the kennel and we had borrowed a GPS navigation system from a guy who is going to be working in the same shop as my husband, so we had no real worries about getting lost. I got to take a few pictures of the landscape on the way up there, which I figure should keep my mother from pestering me for pictures for about a week. I kid I kid, actually she will be asking for more pictures in about three days.

This is a typical house in the area we are living in. Most of the houses around here are made from either stone or brick. They have clay shingles on them and a lot of the shingles are covered with moss. Notice that most of the shrubs are still green. You don't get that much in the states during the winter. Also notice the blue skies, you don't get that much in England during the winter.
This is one of the many churches that I saw on the way up to the kennel. I love old chruches. I think it has to do with growing up in Charleston, SC. They don't call it the "Holy City" for no reason. There are churches all over the place in Charleston, but they don't have any this old I am betting.This is a pub that is located up the road in Lakenheath Village. It is called the Half Moon. Cute little pub. There are pubs everywhere here in England. My friend, D, was actually telling me about a place where she saw a sign that said "Pub located behind Church". Now THAT would NEVER happen in the states, EVER. Good Lord I could just see the riots taking place if that sign was posted anywhere in the Bible Belt.

I have seen a few funny Inn and Pub names here as well. There was the "Farmers Boy Inn", which just kinda sounds a little dirty. Then there was "The Cock" Pub. Now that one made my husbands inner 14 year old come out. He laughed his ass off for a good 2 min after we passed that pub. Then he decided the was gonna call his pub, "The Man's Head", another play on a dirty mind here*. All I do is shake my head, cause what I am I gonna do, I married this guy.
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I have had a lot of questions asking how the girls are taking the move, well LaLa is doing alright. She misses a routine most of all I suspect. She, like the rest of us just needs her own space, her own (borrowed) bed, and a place to call her own. KiKi, well, she could care less as long as she has had a nap and has a full belly.

Everyday they fight about who gets to hit the elevator button to go downstairs.

Everyday they fight about who gets to play with what toy. And then sometimes LaLa does something strange like this:That is a roll of paper towels and stacked on top is: a pad of post it notes, a jar of peanut butter and one of KiKi's sippy cups. Just another one of the many things that I just shake my head at and accept. She totally gets it from her father.

*A lot of pubs are called things like "The Lords Head" or the "Lady's Head", don't ask me why, when I found out I will tell you. Oh and when you buy a pub, you can't change the name. They are passed down traditionally.

101 Things about Me for my 101st post...

yeah I know I was "supposed" to do this yesterday for my 100th post, but I was a little busy. Cut me a break. Hey plus I am gonna give you an extra random fact.
1. Birthdate Feb 24
2. That makes me 27 years old.
3. My natural hair color is brown.
4. My hair color now is red. (sorry mom)
5. I have 2 kids. LaLa is 4. KiKi is 2.
6. I have a cat, Sam, he is orange and white.
7. I have a dog, Elizabeth, she is a blond cocker spaniel.
8. My favorite color is pink.
9. I am not one of those people who will only wear their favorite color, or decorates their house in their favorite color.
10. I think those people are kinds weird and may need help. Sorry if you are one of those people.
11. My husband is in the Air Force. I don't let my husbands job define me like some Air Force Wives though.
12. I just finished my degree in Technical Management with an emphasis in Human Resources.
13. I left traditional college when I was 21 years old and only had about 36 hours of courses left.
14. My original degree was going to be International Business with a minor in Russian Studies.
15. I thought my mom was going to kill me when I left school.
16. I moved to Texas to be with my husband..that is why I left school.
17. I had every intention to go back to school when we moved to Missouri, but then I found out I was pregnant.
18. 2 kids later and I finally went back to school.
19. Now that we are in England I am going to have to get a "real" job and not be a stay at home mom anymore.
20. I feel guilty that I am going to have to put KiKi in daycare.
21. But I am excited that I am going to be able to have conversations with adults during the day.
22. I love my children, but I have little patience with other people kids...well except for my friends kids, usually.
23. I think this is because I used to work in a daycare.
24. I also have worked at an accounting office for a senile old man.
25. He fired me on my birthday because he needed someone full time in the office and I could only work part time because of school.
26. My best friend is, D.
27. She is the yin to my yang. When I freak out, she talks me back off the ledge.
28. My husband is also my best friend. He is a little OCD and apparently moving brings out the OCD in him. He lost 62 cents the other day, and he is still looking for it. "What if I lost it on the flight line and it got sucked up into the engine of a plane" This is what I am dealing with folks! LOL!
29. My favorite soda in the entire world is Cherry Coke Zero. They don't have that here in England.
30. I am totally bummed out that they don't have Cherry Coke Zero here...not even at the commissary.
31. I have switched to Diet Dr. Pepper, but it just isn't the same.
32. Man, I sound like a drug addict.
33. I get weirded out by people who start crying in front of me.
34. I am really not good with emotions.
35. I also am not a hugger.
36. I only hug my family and really good friends unless there is a circumstance where I am forced to hug someone or look like a complete jerk.
37. I talk to my mom and my granny almost every single day. They get worried if I don't call at least every other day.
38. If I don't call them, I get worried messages left on my voicemail saying things like "Kat, it's your granny, I haven't heard from you in a couple of days, call me back." or "Kat, it's your mom. Where are you?" Or I check my cell phone and I have 9 missed calls from my mom in the span of 4 hours.
39. My mom and granny both read this blog. They will probably deny #38. It is true though.
40. My favorite moment of the day is catching one of my kids in bed and getting to wake them up gently and cuddle with them. LaLa is especially good at this. Of course then she will whisper "Tickle Me" when we are cuddling and it makes me laugh every time.
41. I miss my friends back in Missouri and my friends back in Charleston.
42. I am grateful for the friends who stay in touch.
43. I believe that a new hair cut, a new pair of shoes or a new purse can fix almost any problem.
44. I am really glad I got a hair cut yesterday. It came at the perfect time.
45. I am not good at worrying about money BTW.
46. I don't think my daughter should get gypped out of a really special birthday just because her birthday is 3 days before Christmas.
47. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
48. I think gifts are secondary to being with family or friends that you love.
49. This is only going to be the 2nd Christmas that I will not be in Charleston for. It sucks big time.
50. I am also praying that I have my own furniture before Christmas. Actually that in itself just might be a Christmas miracle.
51. My favorite Christmas song is "Sweet Little Jesus Boy"
52. My favorite Christmas song used to be "Oh Holy Night" until this girl at church kept butchering it every year for like 5 years. My mom and I would sit in the pew and try not to laugh every year. My granny would shoot us evil eye. Hey, you guys have your Christmas/Holiday traditions, I have mine.
53. I kinda like being 5 hours ahead of the Eastern time zone now, because it lets me write my blog posts in more time. I can post by 3 pm GMT and still have by post up by 7am eastern time. Booyah!
54. I am really needing that time today because this 101 facts is really time consuming.
55. The last book I read was "The Christmas Sweater" by Glenn Beck. I think everyone should read it. It had me crying on the plane on the way over here. It isn't just a tired old story about Christmas.
56. It is really hard to cry quietly on a plane and not be noticed. I really didn't want to look like a nut job. I apologize to any fellow passengers on the plane who I may have offended or scared.
57. I love riding on planes. I hate the safety briefing though. I mean really, do they think that I am actually going to use that seat cushion as a floatation device.
58. When I see someone pass me on the highway at double the speed limit I feel angry at them and bad for them. I have actually said "When they wreck they better hope they die, because they won't want to live after wrecking at that speed."
59. I try not to go more than 5 mph over the speed limit.
60. I think that is because I have kids now and I am more careful with everything I do now.
61. Before I had kids, I was a speed demon.
62. I no longer feel the need for an adrenaline rush. I value my life a lot more now.
63. I do get angry at people who don't at least DO the speed limit though.
64. I always seem to get stuck behind this person, when I am running late no less.
65. Sometimes my husband is THAT person. He blames it on having to drive 15 MPH on the flight line.
66. My favorite material possession is my engagement ring.
67. I use my parents and my grandparents as my moral compasses. I often think about what they would think before I do things. I still dyed my hair red. Sorry Mom.
68. My eyes are green.
69. I feel compelled to write something naughty right here, but I won't. That would be so cliche'.
70. My dream vacation destinations are Greece and Russia.
71. I think I will get to Greece one day. I am no so sure about Russia.
72. My favorite saying I heard on Oprah. It is "Trying is failing with honor. Never try, just do it."
73. I hate watching Oprah.
74. Have I ever mentioned that I am a conservative?
75. I didn't vote this year.
76. I feel guilty about not voting. I don't think my vote would have made a difference. I feel guilty about the apathy I had towards voting this year. I really didn't like either candidate very much.
77. Have I ever mentioned that I am glad that I will be living in England for the next 4 years.
78. I am not pissed off that Barak Obama won. I just hope he does the best job he can. I think partisanship has torn the US apart.
79. I am not a fan of Housing Offices on Air Force Bases. They always prove to be a pain in the ass. It doesn't matter what base you are on.
80. Arbitrary rules piss me off.
81. Sometimes I need a time out.
82. I think I am a better driver than my husband. He begs to differ.
83. I can drive stick shift. Sorta. If I have to.
84. I think it is a good skill to have, just in case.
85. I know how to do a lot of things in theory, but have never actually done them.
86. For example. I know how to mow grass. I just have never done it. That is what dads, little brothers and husbands, and good friends are for.
87. I know how to change a tire, in theory. See #86 for the reason I have never done it and add friendly bystanders as another reason.
89. My dad is hillarious and befuddles me with his logic sometimes. Hi Dad.
90. I like to visit my parents at their offices. It is fun to meet their co-workers or talk to the ones I already know. Hi Sandy.
91. My favorite movies are Labrynth, the Princess Bride, Shawn of the Dead, Grandma's Boy, and Army of Darkness.
92. I hate the movie Baseketball with a passion.
93. I will walk out of the room if my husband is watching it.
94. I will also remind him that he will never get that 2 hours of his life back.
95. I do not think pajama pants are acceptable attire for grocery shopping. Ever.
96. I prefer to wear my hair down and straight, but sometimes my hair has other ideas and that is when I throw it up into a ponytail.
97. My hair is naturally curly.
98. My eating habits are questionable. Sometimes I skip meals and then other times I eat everything in sight that isn't nailed down all day.
99. I love my kids more than myself. You guys probably already knew that.
100. I can usually write a blog post in 20 min, though they usually aren't very good when I write that fast.
101. I hate when I try to be witty or funny and end up just looking stupid. It happens. A lot.

Ok I feel I have satisfied my obligation as a blogger to spill my 100 facts about me now. Feel free to comment or discuss amongst yourselves.

Dinner Interupted

It started out as a normal enough Friday last winter. My husband was deployed to Guam, but it had already been 4 months since he had left, so I was pretty settled into a routine. The kids had colds but nothing too serious. KiKi had been running a low grade fever on and off, nothing big. I could handle this. Around 4pm I decided to head to the commissary because I was not liking the looks of anything in my fridge for dinner. You know what I am talking about. You go to the fridge, take a look, shut the fridge and come back 3 min later hoping something else magically appears. Well nothing had magically appeared so I got my kids ready to go out. Coats, shoes, hats. I had them bundled up good because it was freezing outside.

At the commissary I did my shopping. KiKi was whining a bit because she didn't want to be in the cart and she was starting to sweat. I took off her hat and she felt a little warm. I figured her fever was coming back and we would get a dose of Tylenol when we got back to the house. Nothing big I could handle it. I got to the register and started unloading my items onto the cashiers conveyor belt. I took a look at the kids and noticed KiKi was just not right.

She started slumping into the blue seat of the car cart. Then her eyes started rolling into her head. By the time I pulled her out of the cart she was completely limp and not breathing. I started to scream for someone to call 911. The cashier helped me lower her little lifeless body onto the conveyor belt. I was a mess. I was crying and praying for my angel to be alright. Her little lips were starting to turn blue. Out of nowhere a man appeared. He must have come from another checkout line. He announced that he was an eye doctor over at the medical group and he started checking her vitals. He told me to try to calm down and that she still had circulation going to her fingers. The manager of the commisary came and said the ambulance was on its way. About this time KiKi started coming around. She had this completely dazed look on her face and was scared. She was crying. I was also crying. I then heard the sirens of the ambulance and the doctor and I hurried her outside. He gave the paramedics her vitals and I gave them her personal information. Within minutes they were on their way to the hospital and I was following behind with LaLa in our personal vehicle.

I made a call to The Man on the way to the hospital. It was early Saturday morning and he was on a WW2 sightseeing trip with a few of his buddies. He immediately got a friend to take him back to his dorm so that he could be on alert if anything else happened. He couldn't do much from Guam but he wanted to be available in case anything changed. Once he hung up with me, he called his first sgt and some of his shop friends who were still state side. One of our friends met me at the hospital and took LaLa for me so she wouldn't have to sit in the hospital. The First Sgt. also showed up ready to help any way he could. Another friend showed up to keep me company while we waited for test results on KiKi.

KiKi was fine once her fever came down. She had a febrile seizure. Her fever had spiked so quickly that her little body couldn't handle it. I felt like a horrible mother because I had taken her out shopping when she was sick. Then I realized, if I had stayed home, I wouldn't have had a doctor or any of the others to help me. I would have been alone. The commisarry had actually been the perfect place for this to have happened at. I was never alone throughout the entire crisis. I may not have had my family present, but I had my Air Force Family. They circled the wagons in my families time of need. It is what they do.

Last week I ran into the manager of the commissary and he recognized me. He asked how KiKi was doing and what exactly had happened. I explained it all. The bagger who was helping him with my groceries also remembered the incident. When she was helping me out to the car she told me that out of the three years she had worked at the commissary, that was her most memorable moment. It was my most memorable moment at the commisary as well. Go figure.