It Was An Accident I Swear!

The first thing you all need to know is that I have a major fear of authority.  I am seriously scared of pissing off "The Man"(not as in my husband.  I am perfectly good at doing that on a regular basis) or any sort of person with even the slightest bit of authority over my life.  So when it came time to renew my visa to stay in the UK, I made sure that I started it early so that I wouldn't accidentally overstay. 

So my husband got the forms from the passport/visa office on base and sent them to me and I filled them out and went into the office and they told me that the forms were out of date and that the UK Home Office had changed the forms.  So I filled out the new 23 pages of forms.  While I was filling out the new forms I took a look at the old visa inside my passport only to have one of those moments where my stomach literally shot into my throat and I thought I was going to heave up my dinner onto my ugly kitchen carpet. 

My visa had expired.  In NOVEMBER.  I am here illegally. 

So at this point I did what any sane person would do.  I started panicking.  First I told my husband, who wasn't amused.  He gave me the stern "how the hell did this happen?" face.  Then I called my best friend who tried to reassure me that everything would be fine surely.  Then I called Liz who told me that "We never throw anyone out".  Skyped with Nickie who kinda helped me not panic so much by making me laugh and distracting me by making rude cucumber jokes while she was cooking.  And then internally freaked out until this morning when the realization that I had to go into the passport office and admit that my paperwork and my children's paperwork was immensely screwed up.  The whole time thinking "They're gonna deport me!" 

So I Facebook messaged Liz and jokingly asked if she knew anyone who sold Xanex on the down low.  To which she replied "We're British, we just drink gin." And I told her that I couldn't drink gin because I was going to have to drive to base and didn't need to get nicked for a drink driving offense on the way down to sort out my visa issues because I didn't want to end up as a story plastered across the front page of the Daily Mail.  Which she acknowledged was a fair point.  To be fair though, I bet I could have sold my story for a good bit of money and taken some properly trashy photographs of me with my boobs hanging out and a cigarette in my hand for the front page. 

So I headed down to the passport office still feeling like I was going to be sick on my nice semi new black flats.  I filled out my information on the computer queuing system and when the lady called me to be seen I walked up and said "I have a big big big problem.  My visa has expired and I didn't realize it til I was filling out my visa extension paperwork because..." and then she interrupted me and said "because your orders said you were here for four years and your visa was only issued for three years.  Don't worry you won't be deported."  And that is when the whole situation became kinda funny for me and I didn't feel sick anymore.

Apparently the consulate in New York doesn't know how to read American military orders very well and this has happened a number of times.  Now I don't feel so special. 

But since I am still scared of "The Man" I am going to distract them with cute pictures of our new kitten, Mr Tibbs, until I am legal in about 12 weeks give or take depending on the bureaucracy involved.  The paperwork is in the mail so to speak.

Children's Christmas Party- Air Force Style

"All the fun starts at 2pm- don't be late!" is what the invitation to the squadron children's Christmas party said. So my husband and I made threats and barked orders, somehow managing to get the girls to the hanger where the party was starting with five minutes to spare. We were then ushered outside onto the flight line. You could see the confusion on even the parents faces. All I could think was, "Damn it's cold outside, this better be good!"

We were standing out on the stark runway for a few minutes before the thumping of helicopter rotors could be heard approaching. Of course I then in my headheard Arnold Schwarzenegger in my head yell "Get to the choppa!!" like in The Predator.

My mind work in a weird way people.

When the helicopter swung around we saw this...

What the what? Is that? Noooooo.

It was.

I guess his sleigh was in for repairs......

My kids of course at this point were going completely insanely bonkers. "DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?!" LaLa screamed at me over the beating of the chopper blades.

"I sure did, kiddo!"

I sure did.

It's Official

The official email has landed in The Man's inbox. We are staying in the UK until 2015. Ok- don't get all excited at once now! Please hold your applause. OK, never mind, applaud away! I am so completely excited. Firstly, I get to stay near my crew. And by crew I don't mean some sort of middle aged street gang, I mean my local girls who have become like family. Secondly, I don't have to uproot my kids. This is such a bonus. My kids have thrived in their small village school. I really can not tell you how much this school means to me. (A bit sappy?) Thirdly? Thrice? Yeah, number three, we get to stay abroad! Exploring. Learning. Experiencing. How cool is that?

Also? LaLa just sweet talked her dad into a new kitten. (I think I am almost as excited about that as I am about staying here in the UK!)

The Holiday Rush

I have outdone myself this time. I am having roughly 19 people (a mix of Americans and Brits) at my house tomorrow for Thanksgiving (assuming everyone shows up) and have I got anything prepared. Nope. My house is a slight bomb site. I have the food, but none is prepped. Thankfully I am not doing the turkey or the ham (yes we are doing a ham too) so there is that small reprieve. So today is all about cleaning and prepping.

Ahhhh the holidays. This is my favorite time of the year but I have found that they aren't nearly as fun as when I was a kid. It seems like they just sneak up on me and the amount of stress they generate is astronomical. Not to mention that I am in the UK, which I love, but since Thanksgiving isn't a British holiday there are already Christmas ads on the TV. So, it is a weird mix of Thanksgiving and Christmas at the same time at my house. I already have pulled out some of my Christmas decorations but the weather and my calendar are shouting Thanksgiving. I should come up with a word for this time of the year.

Thanksmas?

Happy Thanksmas Everyone!!

Brace Yourselves...

Now that I have told all my family, I can let the genie out of the bottle. The Man has put in the paperwork to stay in the UK for three more years on top of the year left that we have here. That means that if the paperwork gets approved, we will have four more years here in the UK.

I am so incredibly excited. Of course I am still a bit nervous because it could all be dashed by a man with a pencil in an office and the word denied, but I am trying not to dwell on this. The Man seems to think that it would be highly unlikely that the extension request would be denied. He's usually right, so I am taking his word for it.

Now, it is time to make plans. I have informed my landlady that we are likely to stay, so the house is sorted. We will have to get new visas at some point. I can finally hang some of the pictures that I had neglected to hang because "well, we're leaving in a year anyway". I can get really excited about things at the kid's school because they will actually have a long lasting effect on my kids. I can retool the list of places we need to see before we leave because we are going to have more time. So much to do, plenty of time to do it.

It feels so odd to know we have time. You can start your happy dances now.

Decision Time

We have a year left in the UK. It is now decision time. Do we want to stay longer or do we want to go back to the USA? I am pretty much firmly in the camp of I want to stay. I know this might be hard for my family back in the USA to understand, but I love it here. I honestly love the UK. I love my friends here. I love my life here. I love my children's school. I love my children's friends. I love the culture. I love being able to see things I would never ever have the chance to see if we lived anywhere else.

When I think about leaving I get choked up and a bit teary. I just can't even force myself to imagine not living here. This is in complete contrast to when I was leaving the USA for Britain. When we found out that we were moving here I was excited. I couldn't wait for the adventure. Yes, the adventure has had it's ups and downs, but I am not ready for the adventure to end. I couldn't wait to get out of the USA, not because I don't love my country, but because I wanted my kids to experience the world.

So, now, with my husband on the fence about staying, I am trying to pull out all the stops to convince him that we need to stay. Yes, this hasn't been the best assignment for him personally; he has been away from the UK more than he has actually been here. However, he has seen places that he wouldn't have otherwise. There aren't many Americans who can say that they have been to Romania, Sweden, Italy, Germany, Belgium, France, Afghanistan and Korea in the last three years (unless they are military members). He don't have many friends here and less ties to the community. He misses his family back in the USA, which I do too, but I guess I always think "We could be stationed in California and still be half the world away."

I want to stay, but the decision is ultimately up to him. And I hate that.

Transitioning

When a military spouse comes back from a deployment or TDY (temporary duty) there is always a bit of time that it takes for the family to transition back to normal. Mind you "normal" could not be the "normal" that you had before the absence at all. You have to find a new normal each and every time the spouse comes home. It can almost be like the end of the "honeymoon" period of a marriage. There will be irritations, little fights about small things, bickering, and sometimes hurt feelings, but there is always the under current of love and adoration because you have missed your partner for so long.

For me this is always a bit of a rough period because I am used to calling the shots when The Man is away. I like the independence I have when he is away. I like having the remote control at all times. I like being able to go here and there with no regard to his opinion. Not that he cares where I go, I just like to be able to go without informing him where I am going. I like not having to leave a note so he doesn't worry. I like to take my own sweet time when it comes to cleaning the house. I don't let it get to absolutely disgusting levels of uncleanliness, but it definitely gets to the level of "lived in" before I feel the urge to clean. The hubby likes to come home to a tidy house, so there is that when he is home. I am used to doing all the disciplining, comforting, and parenting when he is not around and sometimes I feel like my toes are being stepped on when he steps in. It doesn't matter how much I moan about how I feel like I am a single parent and I just want a bit of help when he is gone; this always happens. We have vastly different parenting styles.

This transition has been especially odd though, I haven't felt like my toes are being stepped on at all. We seem to be doing a lot of giving and taking when it comes to this whole parenting thing. We only have one car right now, so he's gonna know where I am going anyway. OK, well the cleaning thing is still a bit of a sticking point, but I just get on with it and he helps out as much as he can (He washed the walls yesterday, for real). I just can't help but sit here and wonder what is so different about this transition in comparison to the others. Is it because the children are older? It is because we are older? Is it because we have done this so many times now? Is it because of the hurried nature of our reunion? Is it because of the impending surgery? Is is because we were ONLY separated for two months? I can't put my finger on it. I just know that I am glad he is home.

Travel Update- We Have a Flight....Maybe

I am trying for a flight tomorrow. Hopefully, I will get on it. Ya never know with Space A travel. I could show up there and be told that the flight is full or canceled or I could get right on it. If I do get on it I will be heading to Germany and then figuring out my next move from there. It could be a RyanAir flight or another Space A military flight. It's all really up in the air.

I spoke to my husband this morning and he still doesn't know when he is leaving Korea for the UK. He says that he is feeling alright unless he is on his feet too long; then the hernia starts to burn. He should be having his surgery about a week after he gets to the UK. His doctors in Korea have already been in touch with the doctors in the UK. I am just hoping all the information is relayed efficiently.

I am off to bed now, with a queasy feeling in my stomach. I really hope I get this flight tomorrow. I would hate to have done all that packing for no reason.

Update- I got an email from my husband. He is leaving Korea and will probably be home before me. I have all my friends in the UK on alert and ready to help him out. My flight has been pushed back by an hour. This could change. Again. I just have to keep calling and checking flight times today and crossing my fingers that if they plane does leave today that I will be on it.

Houston, We Have A Ginormous Problem

You guys do realize that I can't do anything the easy way and something always goes wrong, right? There is never any sort of smooth and easy sailing in the world of Kat. We always have to do something the hard way, and since it was so easy for me to catch the Space A flight to the USA, Murphy's Law decided to kick me in the butt HARD at the end of my holiday.

I got an email from my husband this morning that he was returning to the UK early because he has a hernia and needs surgery. Yay he's coming home! Wait, I am in the USA!!! CRAP. So, I called him and found out the details, which are there are no details yet. He doesn't even know when he is flying home yet, but he knows it will be really soon. So basically I need to get home as soon as possible.

I am working on getting a flight out of Charleston to Germany, because they don't fly into the UK very often from here. I am just afraid that I am going to get stuck in Germany. I have started looking into Ryanair flights and Easy Jet flights just in case the Space A flights from Germany don't pan out. I have a really good support system in the UK just in case he beats me home. I am just trying to trouble shoot and put out the fires as they spring up. I am also trying to get all the laundry done, souvenirs packed and children entertained; whilst simultaneously repeatedly checking the Air Force Base flight schedule and trying not to freak the freak out. Right now though, I really just want to run screaming down the street pulling my hair out.

I knew this holiday was going entirely too smoothly, well other than that pesky tetanus shot...

That was totally worth it though.

Military Space A Travel w/ Kids

Unfortunately the military doesn't pay extremely well, even when you live overseas. So, flying home to the states is very rarely within our budget. However, the military thankfully does not leave us to fend for ourselves when it comes to transcontinental travel. They offer what they call Space A travel on military cargo planes for service members and their families. It is really very handy, but extremely unpredictable.

The first obstacle is that you have to have command sponsorship when traveling, which means going through the appropriate channels to get a letter saying "yes, they can travel on the plane". It isn't really a big deal, but something different then you would have to deal with when flying a commercial jet. Then the second problem is that you don't know when a plane is leaving until 3 days before it leaves. On top of that you don't know if you will actually get on the plane due to the fact that you don't know how many seats will be released on the flight and how many other people will show up for the flight. Then on top of that all the passengers are ranked based on priority to get onto the flight. It is a rigmarole, but it is FREE.

Last Sunday I found out that a plane was leaving for Tampa, Florida on Tuesday of that week. So, of course, even though school wasn't exactly dismissed for the summer holidays, I decided to try to take the flight. Executive decision. I mean really, what do kids usually do the last week of school? Report cards are already finished.

We showed up Tuesday morning at 6:30 and by 7AM we found out that we had indeed made the flight. I can't believe our luck! I have known people to show up three or four times before actually making it onto a Space A flight.

We got driven in a bus across the flight line (tarmac) to the KC-130 that would be taking us to Tampa. This was a tanker aircraft that refuels other planes mid-air. Our seats were jump seats situated on the side of the plane, made of nylon canvas with a nylon cargo like net for the back. They were actually a TON more comfortable than standard plane seats because we could stretch our legs out in front of us. Kind of like having a hammock to sit in for the entire flight.

Since the plane was mostly empty there was a large gap in the middle of the plane. The children on the flight were allowed to sit down on the floor and play with their toys or stretch out to take a nap. Some of the kids actually pulled out washable markers and were drawing pictures on the floor of the plane and then washing it off with baby wipes. There was also a lady who had a yoga mat and a sleeping bag who slept on the floor for the entire flight. The only downfall to the whole situation was that my feet were freezing cold due to the altitude of the flight and the heater at the top of the plane only reaches so far. A minor complaint really. Remember, this was a FREE flight.

The crew of the plane was amazing with the children as well. They took every single child on the flight (and some of the parents) up into the cockpit of the plane to look out the windows and then down to the place were they lay down in the back of the plane to look out of the window where they refuel fighter jets. My kids thought this was the coolest thing ever. Mind you, these were airmen who were returning from being deployed for 60 days who took time out of their day to show the children on the flight some of the cool things about the plane. These guys were amazing.

I have to say, as long as my family is allowed to use Space A travel, we may never make another commercial flight again. It was so much more relaxed and comfortable. I didn't feel restricted on the plane. My kids were made to feel special and not like they were a burden on the flight. Well done USAF, you know how to treat your passengers.

Paws Off My Stuff!

It never fails that when my husband leaves some sort of crisis breaks out at my house. This time, it has left me really shaken. Somebody broke into my shed in the back garden and stole my lawnmower, weed whacker, all the petrol to run the two, and my husband's ax. It isn't that my things are gone that bothers me, well that bothers me too, but more the fact that someone has been on my property snooping around.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened at this house. First the gate from my driveway was stolen. It was a big wooden gate, like the type that would go across a pasture, and it surely took at least two people to steal. The next incident was a speaker system that was taken from my friends truck that has been parked at my house for a while. Now, all the gardening tools stolen. So, yeah, I am pretty miffed now.

All of these things that have been taken seem like crimes of opportunity. A sitting car that nobody pays attention to, a gate that is not often shut or opened, and my shed didn't have a padlock on it like it should have. However, now I am afraid because I don't know what else these criminals have seen that they want to take.

I considered moving. Actually, that is still on the table. My husband really wants me to move onto the military base. I really don't want to move because of the pain in the butt it will be, but I understand his point of view. I have spoken to my landlady and she agreed to make some security improvements, which makes me feel a little bit better. I went and got a bunch of padlocks which I am determined to put on anything that could possibly be locked up.

I just hate feeling like this. I hate feeling violated. I hate thinking the worst of people and right now I just don't have very much faith in the world at large. Stupid criminals.

The Whirlwind

It's that time again. We try to prepare. We brace the girls. We support each other. We gather important paperwork. We try to squeeze as many magical moments as we possibly can out of the very few we have left. We have moments where we throw up our hands in resignation. We cry. We laugh. We make sure everyone feels loved. We pack. We unpack. We repack again. We make checklists. We hope for the best. We prepare for the worst. We know nothing else. This is our life as a military family. We soldier on.

About That...

I guess as a military wife should share my feelings on the demise of bin Laden.

1) I am glad he is no longer alive.
2) No, I am not dancing around with glee because we are still at war.
3) He proved he was a coward until the very end, hiding behind his wife.
4) A head shot was too good for him after all of the horrors he inflicted upon the world.
5) Take some times to remember the victims of his attack, not only those affected on 9/11. He was also responsible directly for the first World Trade Center Attack, the bombing of the Khobar Tower in Saudi Arabia, the Embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania, and the attack on the USS Cole in Yemen. Al Qaeda was also responsible for other attacks including the Bali nightclub bombings, the 7/7 attacks, and the Madrid train bombings.

So, those are my feelings on the subject, and that is the last I will speak of this monster. Feel free to disagree with me. Stay vigilant; the terrorists will not stop just because he has been eliminated.

Let it Be

This morning while I was getting KiKi dressed for school this is the conversation we had.

Me- Daddy is leaving again for a while. Don't worry he will be back before Christmas.
KiKi- Is he going to school?
Me- Yep. He'll be in Germany for school! (tries to sound excited)
KiKi- Will his friends be there?
Me- Yep. He will have some of his friends there.
KiKi- Alright.

Needless to say the four year old was a little more understanding when told that The Man will be leaving again for work purposes. I on the other hand threw a tantrum a two year old would have been proud to claim. Usually I am the picture of a stoic military wife, on Thursday when I found out we had four days to alter our plans for the holiday season (he won't be here for Thanksgiving) I lost the plot. Don't worry. It only took me 45 minutes to gather myself and put back on my stoic face. What else can I do? I love my husband.

Realities of Living Abroad in the Military

When Uncle Sam asked us to live abroad in the UK, we knew it came with a time limit. Four years. We are allowed to enjoy England for four years, and then we will be shipped off to another location. When we got the assignment, we were so excited. Now, it is bittersweet. We have moved here, made friends, have our children in school here and have settled in.

The way the primary school in this area works, all the kids in the same class move up together. This means, she will always have the same classmates. The bonds will be closely formed. The thought of uprooting her in a couple of years makes me sick to my stomach. She already has made close friends. Actually, close isn't even the word for her and her best friend, they are more like sisters. Splitting them up, the thought of it, brings tears to my eyes.

I have already talked to the mother of La's best friend. We are trying to think of a way to get ahead of this speeding train. We are trying to head the pain off at the pass and prepare the girls for the eventuality of LaLa returning to the states. Two and a half years sounds like a long time, but in this case, it is not long enough.

Military Life Rambling

I hear and read about trivial complaints everyday. It has gotten to the point where I just keep my mouth shut. I could scream "Do you want to take my place?" Of course I don't, cause that isn't my style. I would rather stew. Then I think, "Geez o peet. Really, I am getting off easy. My husband is on an air base. He isn't doing foot patrols. He will be back in just a few months rather than doing a year rotation like a soldier in the Army and Marines." Then I feel guilty. Should I feel guilty though?

I am jealous. I am jealous that others get a "normal" life. My families life will never be "normal". We will always live like nomads roaming from base to base. My husband will always be gone for stretches at a time. We will always celebrate most holidays either alone or by traveling to see family or friends who live hours away by plane or car. I will miss weddings and funerals. My kids will get to know their grandparents by chatting to them on Skype and through all too short visits. I sometimes wish for a "normal" husband with a "normal" nine to five job. Then I realize that I wouldn't be me without this crazy and definitely not "normal" life.

Overreaction

Saturday night I was drained. Mentally I was drained. The kids had been a nightmare all day; KiKi continuously wetting her pants and LaLa testing her boundaries with attitude, hand on hips and stomping of the foot. I just really wanted a minute to talk to my husband and was really looking forward to 8pm, when he said he would try to be online.

At 8pm I checked Skype and saw him online. With a big exhale I messaged him. Then he lost his connection (or so I assumed). I lost it. We have been having spotty connection issues since he got DownRange. He has been relying on the free Internet connections at the moral centers at the base. Moral centers might be an oxymoron because the Internet connections there are the most unreliable. So, I lost it. Tears. Messages to Jay telling her how sick I was of the dropped connections and my crappy day. Finally, after about 30 minutes I pulled it together and got the kids in bed.

When I returned to the computer an hour later, he was back online. I had waiting messages. I was a bit excited to say the least. We had a nice conversation without a single interruption. Come to find out, he was at a kiosk purchasing a reliable connection the first time he popped up; testing the connection. My moment of disappointment was him actually trying to make sure that our communication method was better.

Lordy, I really miss him.

Separation Anxiety

It started a couple of weeks ago. KiKi wet her pants. No big deal. I changed her pants, told her that big girls use the potty and thought little of it. Then it happened again and again and again. It is to the point that I am running out of clean underpants and trousers for the child! My washing machine is going at full tilt all the time. I am resisting the urge to put her back in diapers, because she *IS* toilet trained. She knows how to do it!

Then I got to thinking. Then I did some Googling (cause Google is never wrong). Talked to my Granny (cause Granny is never wrong either). Then came to a conclusion. The first time she wet her pants was a couple of weeks before my husband left for Afghanistan. Yes, he was here, but it was a time where maybe emotionally it was a bit strained around here. It was a time of frenzy. Maybe a conversation within earshot of the kids happened, I'm not sure. I am sure she knew that something was up. We told the kids about the deployment, and LaLa gets it. She knows Daddy is going to work in Afghanistan for a long time, of course not knowing the full implications of that. KiKi, well she just knows Daddy isn't home.

I know every child takes a deployment differently. LaLa has become a bit clingy and a bit overbearing. She has also started to test her boundaries to see how much she can get away with (not much La, sorry.) KiKi has regressed. I know it will eventually stop (at least before she is married) and I am trying NOT to yell, scold, and be "mean mommy" about it. I know this time is difficult for her, but it is also difficult for me.

I am so not looking forward to having to re-train her, but it looks like my only option at this point. Reward M&M's anyone?

Thanks, Bob Hope

Today after the girls are done cleaning their rooms, we are going to head over to the Bob Hope Center.  This is a community center on one of the bases here that has an indoor play area.  For those of you who are wondering "Why in the heck would they name a community center after an American actor/comedian?", let me enlighten you.

Ok, so most of you know Memorial Day was on Monday, and no I didn't do a post for Memorial Day, mostly because this holiday in remembrance for military members who have died while in while in service for our great nation has become just another day off.  Also because I think in some small way for Americans, everyday should be Memorial Day.  Even if it is just a thought about what has been sacrificed for American freedoms.  Now back to Bob Hope, he was a real and true American patriot.  He lived every day like it was Memorial Day.  

Bob Hope donated countless hours to the USO (an organization that boosts troop moral).  He did this out of a great love of America and because he believed in our troops.  He started his work with the USO in 1941 and continued his work with the organization for 60 years.  He headlined shows to entertain troops, often risking his life by going into war zones.  Now, to me, this is going above and beyond for our troops.  And while I can't thank him personally because he died in 2003, I would like to say thank you now.  Thank you Mr. Hope for your service to my country, to the troops who defend my nation and for your great sense of humor.  You really were a national treasure.

So today I will take my kids to the Community Center that was named for a man who was born a British citizen, emigrated to America when he was five years old, and became an American citizen when he was seventeen.  I will think about the troops he entertained and the sacrifices they made.  I will also be glad that Mr. Hope not only entertained the troops, but the community center named after him can continue his work and entertain my children and the other children of troops stationed abroad.

I Can't Relate

Have you ever heard a complaint or maybe just a comment that you just can't relate to? For me it is someone who is complaining about shopping with both of their kids in tow. Don't get me wrong it is as much of a pain in the rear end to me as it is for anyone else, I just never have really had another option.

See my husband has always worked pretty crappy shifts since he has joined the military (for the past three months it has been roughly from 2pm til at least midnight and usually later than midnight). It is either long hours or a deployment. He is just not around much when I need to get the shopping done. Back at the old base I could leave the kids with him on the weekend to do the shopping, even though that is breaking the first of the cardinal rules for grocery shopping the military. Do NOT shop for groceries on the weekend. The second rule for grocery shopping in the military is do NOT shop on payday or especially pay day weekend. At this base shopping on the weekend is a bad bad bad idea. Have you ever seen a line all the way from the cashiers to the meat department in the back of the store? I have. It just seems that the path of least resistance for grocery shopping is to just grab the kids and go during the day.

Now that LaLa is in school it has actually become a lot easier to get my shopping done during the day. One less kids to deal with. However, I usually have something come up during the day and don't get to the commissary on time. So that still leaves me shopping with both of the girls in tow. It really isn't that big of a deal because they both know the drill now.

See the last time my husband was deployed (to Guam) we came up with a system. Back then, KiKi would ride in the basket seat (she was around 18 months old at the time) and LaLa would help me pick out the items. It slowed my trip down, but it eliminated my problem of LaLa trying to wander off, run down the asiles, or the dreaded lollygagging. I hate lollygagging more than anything in the world. Not to say that we didn't have our problems, but we had a system*. Now we (I) have refined the system to incorporate both of the kids in the shopping. I will say "Hey we need juice." Then I will give them choices and they get to pick on of the choices for the juice we will get. Then one of them will drop it into the cart. It usually works pretty well**.

I guess what I am saying is sometimes I have more in common with single parents than I do with married ones. Not that I don't have the most awesome and helpful husband in the world when he is home. He helps out as much as he can around the house and I have absolutely no complaints about him at all when it comes to being helpful with the kids. It is just that he is gone a lot. It is the nature of the military beast. We just have had to learn to adapt and overcome for an activity that a lot people would try to avoid.

* We also had a system when LaLa would misbehave and I would ask her "Hey LaLa, who's the boss?" and she would say "You're the boss." and then I would say "Ok then listen to me"...it actually worked. Of course that got muddled the moment The Man got back from Guam. Then it was like "Hey LaLa, who's the boss?" and she would be like "Ummm well....." Thanks kid.

** The there are also time when I have to have a pow wow with them in the middle of the produce department and say through clenched teeth in a really low voice "So help me God if you two do not stop acting like heathens I will leave this cart right here and we will go home."***

*** Yes I have left a full cart of groceries in the middle of a store before because my kids were acting up. Sorry people at Wal-mart in Warrensburg, MO. My bad, but my kids were acting like heathens.