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Friday, October 3, 2008

PSA-Juice Crisis

It has come to my attention that we are facing a new crisis. Along with the energy crisis and economic crisis the federal government has overlooked the juice crisis. Juice prices over the last year have skyrocketed. A gallon of juice that once cost $1.50 at the check out line is now going for almost $3.00 a gallon. Parents of angry toddlers everywhere are feeling the pinch at the register. I am calling for a bipartisan committee to look into the allegations of price gouging and price fixing. As responsible citizens we must also look into alternative thirst quenchers. Some of the possible choices that I foresee helping us through this juice crisis are Milk, water, and Kool-Aid. Toddlers are resistant to change so as parents it is your responsibility to introduce these new alternative thirst quenchers at a moderate pace as to not upset the emotional balance of your toddler. One of the most promising new thirst quenchers is Sugar-free Kool-Aid which comes in a variety of juice like flavors. The added benefit of Sugar-free Kool-Aid is that it does not contain the sucrose that causes hyper-activity in children. One may also choose to dilute the juice with water to avoid over consumption of juice. Please be responsible with your consumption of juice. Do not make a run to the super market to hoard juice. This may cause prices to spike even higher or cause a shortage of juice. Please contact your representative in government to express your concern over the juice crisis and your support for alternative thirst quenchers. Thank you.

(This crisis is a complete figment of my imagination brought on by having to wake at 4 am to get KiKi a drink only to find out that we had no juice in the house. Please do not actually contact your representative or you may be laughed off the phone or recieve an visit from those lovely men in white coats who want to take you on a special vacation.)


Heather said...

The price of orange juice really IS crazy. I buy concentrate usually.

Anonymous said...

Actually...that's not such a bad plan! But I think they lost my number after I asked them to look into UFO's... ;)

Badass Geek said...

Seriously! I get really poor apple juice mileage. What do these people think I'm made of, anyways?

Captain Dumbass said...

It's the Chinese buying up all the frozen concentrate along with all the oil.

Anonymous said...

Ooooo, I like the new look :)

Milk has gone up too...I say we really need to write our congressman and tell them we want fair prices!

You draw it up and I might sign it ;)

Lola said...

Ha! I throw tantrums when I'm out of my diet cranberry juice, and nothing will take its place in my heart or stomach.

I do the same thing when there's no wine in the house!

steenky bee said...

Yes, but your Kool-aid policy has a few holes. I am still dependent on foreign supplies of juice. I have to leave the comfort of my own home to put money in the pockets of those fat cats (and let's face it, the Kool-Aid guy could stand to lose a few pounds)

Kat, American is craving change. (I stole that from Palin last night) Maybe it's time we sunk our money into soy or soda or even those on the go yogurt thingies. I am so on the fence about this.

Rhea said...

hehe If we run out of apple juice in this house, beware the Remy rampage. That child RUNS ON apple juice like my car runs on gas, I swear.

Cute post.