Dear Toddler

KiKi,
Due to the lack of sleep, new sleeping arrangements need to be made. Mommy can no longer live on 4 hours of sleep. Although it is nice to have a cute little monkey such as yourself asleep next to me, there is a serious lack of space in my bed. I know I created this problem last month when I allowed you to come into my bedroom in the middle of the night when your dad was working night shift. Now that your dad is home at night, the fit in the bed is a bit snug. Daddy and I, while we love you to death, do no appreciate you digging you little feet into our spines all night. Mommy can not sleep on 4 square inches of bed despite what you may think. Here are the new rules.
1.) You will take a bath promptly at 8pm.
2.) You will be asleep by no later than 8:30pm.
3.) If you wake up in the middle of the night, you will go back to your big girl princess bed.
4.) No matter what you are not coming to sleep in Mommy's bed.

In return, for following the rules, you will receive:
1.) Less crabby mommy.
2.) Praise.
3.) A sense of accomplishment.

In closing I would like to say, I wish you would stay my little girl forever. However, little girls need to sleep in their own beds.

Sincerely,
Mommy

PS- If you ever break open a ball point pen and "paint" on my (government issued) hardwood floors again, time out will be the least of your worries. You are lucky mommy knows about a miracle cleaner that would get the stink off a skunk.